At Last
by Michelle M. Marie
Summary: At Last Bella's love has come along - in the form of a one night stand. "You never know what you're missing until you suddenly get what you want without asking for it. Does that even make sense? No? Well, neither did my life after I met Edward Cullen." A/H
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**

**Welcome to "At Last"! I'm super pumped about this story. It's been a lot of fun for me to write and I hope it's fun the few of you who have been suckered into reading it!**

**Before I get on with the story, I wanted to let you all know that this story is dedicated to the lovely and talented Detochkina. Have you ever had someone give you their utmost support, even without total reason? Detochkina's that for me. She is my cheerleader, and she is the best cheerleader ever. She has held my hand since the beginning of this story, kicked my butt when I needed a little push in the right direction, and encouraged me to fix tricky parts because she said that she knew I could do it.**

***wipes tears from eyes***

**"Did you ever know that you're my hero? You're everything I would like to be …"**

**So thank you, Detochkina. Seriously. This story is for you. You gave me an egg slicer and a toaster oven; I'm giving you these random words in hopes of making you smile. (I know the two aren't comparable, but I'm trying my best here!)**

**And since I am giving my Academy Award speech right now –heh, heh- I want to send out a huge thanks for the incredibly amazing xrxdanixrx for pre-reading and telling me this story was something I should post.**

**MizzezPattinson - you're the best pre-reader a girl could ask for. Your words of wisdom and crazy amount of pimpage was exactly the kick in the ass that I needed to get this story ready to be posted. You're too kind to me, woman!**

**And lastly, to my BETA GODDESS, - you are a goddess, really and truly (no exaggeration, either, you are the real deal). Thank you SO VERY MUCH for your hours of work in fixing my interpretation of English (even though English is my main language, we all need a little help sometimes, don't we? :P). You are the best. Ever. Ever. EVER!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Not my beta's, either. My pre-readers also don't own the rights to Twilight. BASTARDS (kidding, guys! ILY!).**

**Okay, that's it. Hope you guys enjoy the story! See you at the bottom ;)**

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**_Chapter One - Oh Shit, I Did What? Well, That's Embarrassing._**

The sight in front of me was every potential bride's wet dream: handsome groom, beautiful bride, doting wedding guests, immaculately decorated reception hall, and tear-invoking first dance song.

_At last_  
_My love has come along_  
_My lonely days are over_  
_And life is like a song._

_Bleeeeech. _

Even the thought of the "perfect wedding" made me want to vomit in my mouth a little bit. Thank God it wasn't my wedding that I was musing over. I was, in no way ready to be married - that task was left up to my best friends from high school … and best friends from college … and, come to think of it, my best friends from the place that I work, and just about every casual acquaintance that I had ever made. They can all get married, and I'll stay happily single.

My rebellious thoughts to the tranquil sound of the song_ At Last_by the late Etta James was interrupted by my mother clearing her throat, and when that didn't garner my attention, she not-so-subtly leaned into my shoulder. Keeping her eyes on the bride and groom that were dancing in front of us, mom lowered her voice to a whisper before starting in on the argument that she truly_ loved_ to have with me.

I mean, I'd swear she liked bickering to me about this so much that she would do it daily if I would actually answer my phone when she called me. The "silence" button was getting worn out on my poor little iPhone from me slipping the toggle over so I didn't have to hear the ringtone that I specifically designated to her for when she called me.

I'd decided to watch Alice's first dance from my mom's table at the wedding, and it wasn't until now that I'd started to regret it.

"Bella, I am sick of beating around the bush. When are you going to settle down and get married? I'm getting old; I want to be able to enjoy my grandchildren before I need a hip replacement."

"Funny, Renee, you never beat around the bush when you are talking to me about this subject. And I seem to remember us having this conversation just a few years ago … except then you were begging me_ not_ to give you grandchildren because you were too_ young_."

"Stop being a smartass, daughter dearest. You know that there is a world of difference between eighteen and twenty-eight."

"You act like twenty-eight is ancient. Jesus, I don't know why I decided to come over to say 'hi' to you before dinner started. I was just asking for it, wasn't I?"

"Your clock is ticking, Bella." She spoke in an admonishing tone, ignoring my last statement.

"I don't have a clock, Mom. I'm not too concerned." I sarcastically shot back, pulling my attention back to the bride and groom in an attempt to show Renee that I wasn't in the mood to discuss this particular topic at this moment in time.

"You'll care about it when you decide to have kids in ten years and can't conceive because you are past your prime."

I rolled my eyes at this comment; I usually did when she used that defence. "You know, the first time you said that to me, I was offended. Now I'm annoyed that you keep repeating it." I stood up from the chair at my mom's table as soon as I realized that the song was coming to an end. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to my seat."

The bride and groom for this particular wedding had decided to do things in a little nontraditional way, so they had their first dance as soon as they arrived at the reception hall, before they ate dinner and before they cut the cake. They wanted to keep people "entertained" - aka tortured - at their wedding, so dining was slated to be one of the last events of the evening, which meant speeches from the best man and maid of honor were next, and I was up.

Fuck! I was so nervous! I mean, it was one of my best friend's weddings, and Alice was marrying Jasper. And I had been to enough weddings at this point in my life to be able to spout off some sort of bullshit speech that sampled all of the other speeches that I had heard over the last eight years, but I didn't want to settle for anything like that this time. Alice and Jasper deserved something more than some ramble on that went something like, "Blah blah blah, don't stop believing, let's get this party started!"

I had a speech written; it had been finished for quite a while. That being said, I was still scared shitless. It wasn't writing it that scared me - it was delivering it that made me want to pee myself. Ever since I was a kid, I've been scared to death of standing up in front of a group and being the center of attention. Public speaking caused my throat to close up and … no air could get through … and I choked ...

But I was due to talk in front of a huge crowd in a short amount of time, in front of my high school best friend's 400 wedding guests.

So I did what anyone in my position would do -hit the champagne- hard. The server whom I stole my first bottle from looked a little shocked as I grabbed a newly opened one out of his hands as soon as he had uncorked it. The good news was that since I was wearing a bridesmaid dress, I would be allowed to do whatever I wanted, so the server let me be.

Maybe he shouldn't have let me do whatever I wanted. Maybe the server should have stopped looking at my fucktastic tits and paid more attention to the fact that a tiny, barely 105-pound girl was chugging a sixty-five-dollar bottle of champagne.

In college, one of the subjects that I studied the most was binge drinking. I wasn't proud of it, but I passed that class with flying colors. Apparently I had a talent for opening up my throat and taking large amounts of … whatever … in short amounts of time, and being able to swallow just as fast.

Needless to say, that talent has made me quite popular over the years. Oh! It wasn't like I was a whore or anything, I just sure as hell knew how to party. I knew how to play a mad game of catch up, meaning I could come late to the party but get drunk as fast as you could snap your fingers.

Knowing of my little talent and being able to recall the consequences of drinking so fast -puking the next morning was the rule, not the exception- should have deterred me from doing something so blatantly fucking stupid right before a speech, buuuut ...

Yeah, apparently I was a twenty-eight year old idiot. I drank to the point where I thought that I would be pleasantly buzzed, where the edge would be taken off and I would be able to deliver my speech like a rockstar. But stupid, stressed out, maid-of-honor me forgot to take into account the booze I had drank earlier in the limo, along with forgetting I hadn't eaten anything since the bagel that I stuffed my face with at 10:00 am while we were getting our hair done.

What did that mean, children? Alcohol plus empty stomach equals drunken, sloppy mess.

We were summoned to sit in our seats in order to prepare for the speeches to be given and so the servers would see their cue to begin dinner service. By that time, a huge part of me was hoping that the food would be served before I was to give my speech, even though I knew it would be futile. At that point I was sitting pretty good, well past buzzed, and perched happily in my "drunk" corner.

Time flew by when you were trying to compose yourself enough to give a speech honoring your best friend and the man that she had been dating for the last eight years. I sat in rapt -at least I hoped my facade made it seem rapt- attention as I watched the douchey best man, Mike, give his douchey speech. Mike finished up by raising his glass, and even though I shouldn't have clinked my glass with Alice's, nor should have I taken a sip of more champagne, I did. That sip may have been the one that pushed me over the edge.

I stood up, straightened my dress, and delivered my speech.

Well, it wasn't the speech that I had written, and it certainly wasn't anything like the speech that Kristin Wiig gave in Bridesmaids, but it was a speech … well, maybe.

As soon as we all clinked our glasses in honor of Alice and Jasper, my mother rushed up to the main table and whisked me away to the washrooms, much to the chagrin of Alice.

Once I reached the safety of the powder room, my mother turned to me and frowned. "What was that, Bella? I thought you had a speech written!" She grabbed a cloth from her purse and blotting my lips with it.

I smacked her hand away from my mouth and licked my lips. "I did have a speech written. This was better."

She leaned in closer and smelled my breath. "Are you … are you _drunk_? Jesus christ, you weren't drunk fifteen minutes ago!"

"I had a few sips of champagne … maybe I should have held off until after I ate dinner, right?" I shrugged. "I was nervous about standing up in front of everyone, and I ..."

"You overdid it."

"Maybe?"

She was saved from responding to me, because at that moment, Alice burst into the bathroom, her face as red as a tomato. Her face only turns that shade when one of two instances occur; she was laughing so hard that she couldn't catch her breath and the lack of oxygen caused her face to turn a lovely shade of fuchsia, or...

...She was pissed off so badly that she couldn't even see straight.

Every part of me was hoping for scenario one but was bracing myself, seriously bracing, in case a monster of a slap was coming at me if scenario two was the actual case.

"Oh, Bella! I thought maybe your mom dragged you in here. Thank goodness I found you!" My crazy best friend paused as she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and fluffed up perfectly coiffed hair before turning back to me. "That speech was … it was absolutely perfect. You have no idea how many people have been coming up to me and asking me to meet you! I swear all of Jasper's college friends from New York rushed up to the table to ask about you."

"Anyone worth a try?" Mom questioned over my shoulder. I rolled my eyes, trying not to turn around and strangle her.

I swear, all that woman thought about was furthering her bloodline. She'd probably pimp me out if she could.

"Oh, yeah. Any one of them would be a catch. Come on, B. Let me introduce you to the perks that come along with being a maid of honor."

Alice dragged me out of the bathroom and immediately placed a drink in my hands. Either she was still buzzed from the highs that came along with it being her wedding day, or she was simply high as a kite, because I had no business drinking anymore than I already managed to without having some food in my stomach.

I was also pretty sure that I could have puked on her at that moment and she wouldn't have cared. She said that my speech was perfect, and yet she failed to realize that the only people who claimed the speech was perfect were single men. _ Ha._Oh, Alice, your wedding high was a glorious, beautiful thing.

The idiot binge drinker in me eagerly took the drink that my best friend handed me as I was introduced to the friends that Jasper made when he went away to New York for college and left Alice and me back in Seattle.

Even though I was introduced to them, I forgot their names as soon as I heard them. Instead, I remembered the three guys that I met as "McDelicious," the man with the muscles that just screamed to be squeezed; "McHandsome," the guy who had hair that was just begging to be pulled as I licked his face; and "Mc-I-Wanna-Fuck-This-Man," honestly, that nickname was pretty self-explanatory.

It was really, truly a shame that I couldn't remember the guys' names after that night. Though, to my credit, hot_ dayum,_they sure bred guys on the east coast much differently than the west coast, because all three of Jasper's college buddies were ridiculously gorgeous. Seriously, I couldn't be bothered remembering their names, because I was too focused on the muscles bulging out of their button-up-shirts.

_Reow!_

I spent the rest of the dinner not eating the food as I should have, but instead chatting up with the guys from New York.. I wasn't ashamed of this fact, as I wasn't ashamed of the fact that before the cake was served, I was sitting on McHandsome's lap in the lounge by the bar. It was there that I was able to thread my hands through that man's beautiful hair, and to admire the way he could style it so flawlessly. "Don't ever cut this, okay?" I murmured.

McHandsome answered my plea by placing kisses on my cheek before slowly closing in on my mouth. _ Woooo! _That man knew how to kiss! I didn't complain one bit when the kisses quickly surpassed a PG-13 rating. Alice's grandma, whom I had always adored, scolded us for our behavior. I was a little shocked myself by my brazen attitude around this man, but come on, I was crazy drunk and he was so fucking hot!

McHandsome started laughing, and it was at that moment that I realized that I had not only said that last bit out loud, but he wasn't a sober attendee of the wedding, as well.

"You're drunk, aren't you?" I squinted my eyes in accusation.

"You're drunk, too."

"Touche." I grimaced at my ever-so-eloquent response.

We kissed until Jasper's fifteen-year-old cousin started staring at my man. Yeah, that's right … if I'm making out with him, he's my man. Because the girl looked like she had just stepped off a 19th century plantation and I knew she was from Alabama, so I figured it would be perfectly reasonable to call her Muffy. I was one second away from telling Muffbucket, er, Muffy to get the hell away from my mancandy when McHandsome grabbed me by the wrist and helped me stand up.

"Let's dance some of this alcohol off, eh?" He suggested.

I didn't know if I answered him. In all likelihood, I hadn't, but that was fine. He got the hint when I started dragging him to the dance floor.

The dance was now in full swing - I had missed the entirety of the dinner and all of the little things that followed it. A small part of me felt bad that I missed the cake cutting and the stupid tradition where the wedding guests clinked their glasses to get the bride and groom to kiss, but then I realized that I fucking loathed those traditions, and Alice wouldn't have minded that I missed watching her and Jasper kiss fifteen billion times just because the flower girl had an obsession with pounding on her glass dish with her butter knife.

My McHandsome sure knew how to dance. Holy hell, it seriously took everything in me to not grind into his suddenly very prominent erection every chance that I got. I'm not a strong person though, so within minutes I was full on dry-humping him on the dance floor, regardless of the fact that my mom was there.

After a few dances, my night's path became very clear to me. Resistance at this point was futile. My kitty wanted action, and grinding on a dance floor, with my mom fifteen feet away from me giving me a thumbs up, just wasn't working for me anymore.

I leaned into McHandsome's ear and licked the outer edge of his earlobe -thank God for my high heels- in as seductive of a way possible before whispering in his ear. "Do you have a hotel room?"

"Yeah, I do."

I didn't think to ask him if he had his own hotel room, but hindsight's always 20/20.

I grabbed him by the hand and dragged him to the exit, completely disregarding my shoes, my purse, and my dignity. "Where to?" I asked, hearing myself slurring the words. "I mean, where's your room?"

"Across the street."

I giggled, because_ of course_the guy from New York booked a room in the overpriced hotel across the street from the wedding reception. A part of me hoped that we could have a quick "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" and return back to the reception, whereas the other part of me wanted to ravish McHandsome for as long as I could, before passing out, hopefully in McHandsome's 700-thread count-sheets, $500 per night hotel bed.

We made it to his room quickly but not before virtually defiling the elevator. And the hallway. And the door frame.

I tried to be smooth once we started undressing each other, but it was a mess, considering all of the alcohol that I had consumed. I nearly tripped trying to step out of my dress, and I ached to take my heels off. McHandsome insisted that I keep them on. It was okay with me; the heels were kind of hot, and once we were doing the horizontal mambo, it wasn't like I was going to be standing on them anymore anyway, right?

Right. As soon as we shed the last article of clothing, we hopped into the bed and began rolling in between the sheets.

The sex was glorious, amazing, drunken sex. Not the best that I'd ever had, because we were both so wasted, but definitely the best that I'd ever had when I was drunk.

Would that be an honor that a person would want to know about? Probably not, huh? Needless to say, I kept that tidbit of knowledge to myself; I didn't want to bruise McHandsome's ego … the beautiful men most often had big egos that needed stroking often, and I had done my fair share of stroking, sucking, and screaming that night as it was.

I digress.

Had you ever been asked if there was one day that, given the chance to go back and do things over again, you'd like to re-do?

Alice's wedding night, the night when she was supposed to have all the fun and possibly conceive a child, was, for me, that night. I would have liked to ingrain McHandsome's name into my mind, so I wasn't stuck referring to him by how good he looked. I'd like to have talked to him about more important things in life other than his hair, no matter how beautiful it was - and actually remembered what was said. I would like to have spent more time figuring out the little things about McHandsome rather than just sucking on his face.

Most importantly, I would have liked to have made sure that McHandsome used a goddamn condom when he fucked me seven ways to Sunday. That was the thing I would have liked to re-do the most.

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**E/N:**

**I'm told that I need to remind you guys that unprotected sex with strangers is not cool, and I in no way condone it. This is fiction, and in my fic world, STDs don't exist. Sadly, STDs are real, and unprotected sex can have some deadly (and I'm told sometimes itchy) consequences.**

**Since I have the entire story written (minus the epilogue, which I'm still working on), I'm going to be posting on a regular basis. So ... from now on, every Wednesday will be At Last's posting day. If you have any questions or anything, feel free to PM me, otherwise, I'll see you next Wednesday (I'm also on twitter. Tweet me and I'll tweet back, and share the secrets of the universe with you)! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!**

**And, as always, because you all know I'm a review whore, reviews get teasers ;)**

**(Before I forget, this story is also dedicated to my RL BFFs - Danielle, Jen, and Deneice. Thank you guys for being supportive of my dirty little secret -fanfiction- and for giving me inspiration for not only Bella, but Rosalie and Alice, too.)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Pre-readers are xrxdanixrx and MizzezPattinson (who is, like, my pimp master. Ha! Pimp master. That used to, be, like, a phrase back in the day. *Sigh*). Beta extraordinaire (aka "genius who I somehow convinced to read/correct my shiz") is Ubergeekness. The reason for this story is Detochkina (who also Beta-d the shit outta this chapter. She's still my hero).**

**I still don't own the characters. DAMMIT ALL TO HELLLLL. **

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**Chapter Two - What Is It About A Hangover That Attracts Little Angry Men To My Pain-Riddled Head Who Like To Bang Sledge Hammers From Temple To Temple?**

The morning after my sexcapades with McHandsome, I woke up with a jarring headache.

"Ahhhhh … what the fuck?" I struggled to remember my surroundings.

Hot man … hot sex … hot mess hangover. A_h yes, it all makes sense now_. I sat up slowly and made a huge show of wrapping the sheet that I was laying on top of around my body. I must have passed out buck-naked, because I was sprawled on top of the sheets wearing nothing but an itty bitty ounce of shame.

I was naked in a stranger's hotel room. Shame was definitely something that was called for in situations like this.

I craned my neck around the room to see if I could spot said stranger. Maybe I could interest him in a cup of hotel coffee? Or maybe a round of non-drunk fucking?

Mmmm. Fucking. The sex was good last night … I think? Well, it was good from what I remember. Maybe it was only good because the man was hot. _McHandsome. _He had to be handsome still, right?

Oh shit. What if he didn't look as good in the daylight as he did last night? I didn't want to have to wash my mouth and vagina out with bleach. Oh, dear god, _please _let this man still be hot today.

Please. Oh, _please!_

My worries of having slept with coyote ugly the night before were interrupted by the front door opening. I sat up quickly, making sure that the sheet corner stayed tightly wrapped around my middle before I was greeted by a man walking through the door with his hands placed over his eyes.

"Hello?"

"Yeah, uhm, hi?"

"You decent? Or do I need to keep my eyes closed while you get dressed?"

_Well, that's embarrassing._"I'm covered with a sheet," I replied dumbly.

"Good. So, uh, I'm going to take my hands down from my eyes then, mmkay?"

"Sure?"

The strange man who looked somewhat familiar dropped his hands from his face. _This isn't the guy that I had sex with last night. I know that much. Oh, wait! I had a nickname for him. I think I called him … McDelicious?_

He smiled a little before shaking his head. "Nice to see you are, indeed, alive. I was starting to worry when you didn't move this morning when E got up."

"E?" I bit my lip.

"Oh, you're funny. Bella, right?"

"Yeah, Bella. Did we meet last night? You look familiar."

The odd man chuckled. "Yeah, we met. Last night. And this morning, when I was trying to get back into my room."

I flushed. "_Your _room? I thought that … that ..." My complete and utter shame caused it to come out in a sputter.

"You thought that this was just E's room, right? Typical ..."

I pursed my lips in frustration. "Wait a second. Don't start accusing me of something here, okay? I know this looks bad, but trust me, I don't normally do this kind of-"

"Stop. Before you start telling me that you 'don't normally have one night stands' blah blah bullshit, I'm not talking about you, I'm talking about my friend. Having sex with a beautiful bridesmaid and leaving her naked in his hotel bed is pretty typical E behavior."

Embarrassed, I started playing with the end of the sheet that was wrapped around my body. I didn't have anything to add to the stranger's comments, so I kept my mouth shut. A few minutes ticked by before I cleared my throat.

"So, this is delightfully awkward, isn't it?"

"I'm sorry about making you feel like a whore," the stranger blurted out.

"I'm sorry for basically acting like one. I didn't know that this was your room, too … I would have, like, covered up or something."

"Not your fault. All is forgiven. Though seeing E's naked, sweaty ass is something I probably could have lived without."

I nodded in understanding while giving the room another quick glance. "Speaking of 'E,' did he fuck and ditch? Or is he, like, hiding under the bed or sleeping in the bathtub or something?"

McDelicious shook his head. "Bastard had to work early this afternoon. I'm pretty sure he took a cab out to the airport when he was still drunk. Not sure if that's, like, frowned upon or anything, but I hope he doesn't get rape-searched because his drunken swagger makes him suspicious looking ..."

I plastered on the most serious face I could possibly compose. "Oh, shit! He had to catch a flight this morning? Maybe I shouldn't have stuffed that bag of coke up his ass last night while we were having sex. He's gonna be in trooooouble when airport security finds that!"

McDelicious looked at me in shock, like I'd grown another head.

I laughed and wrapped the sheet tighter around myself. "I'm kidding, by the way. No coke was shoved up anyone's ass. Get it? Poor attempt at a joke; sorry."

He smirked at me. "Oh, I think I like you."

McDelicious decided at that point to make things less awkward for me and excused himself to the hotel lobby to start checking out of the room, graciously leaving me to pick up my clothes and get dressed.

I located my last earring, which was some-fucking-how stuck in the shower drain, when he walked into the room again.

"You ready to, uh, leave?"

I smiled at him and slipped my shoes on. "Why are you making this awkward? _You _aren't the one who needs to feel weird about this right now. It was your roommate who had a one night stand, not you."

"True. Though it is my fault that he got so drunk last night."

I groaned. "Oh, man! Is this where you tell me that your friend is married, and the only reason why he slept with me is because he was so wasted? 'Cause if that's the case, spare me; I don't want to hear it … I want to stay delightfully ignorant."

McDelicious nudged me in the shoulder. "No, this is where I tell you that although the alcohol may have initially given E the courage to do what he did, it was also what gave him his monsterous hangover this morning and what was responsible for him not being in the right state of mind to say goodbye."

"Oh … kay?"

"I'm making this more awkward, aren't I?"

"That you are." I paused in hope that he would insert his name for me so I didn't have to outright ask him. It was embarrassing enough that I did't remember the name of the guy that I had sex with the night before.

"Jacob, by the way. My name's Jacob," McDelicious, nee Jacob, said, interrupting my internal monologue. "And my friend gave me this to give to you."

I grabbed the piece of paper that "Jacob" -McDelicous had a better ring to it, if you asked me- had in his hand and glared at it.

_Had a fucking fantastic time._  
_555.555.8292_  
_E_

_Are you serious? He couldn't even sign his real name? He had to sign his first initial? What the fuck?_

I mean, that doesn't help me at all. How many names start with E in this day in age?

Ebenezer? Efron? Elton? Egor?

All of those names sounded familiar. Celebrities, Christmas and Frankenstein characters aside, I only had a few options, and they weren't very good ones.

Did this guy's parents hate him when he was born or something? E seems to be a very unpopular first letter for a name.

"Thanks." I eyed the paper suspiciously, as though if I looked at it hard enough "E's" full name would appear. It would be like a magic eye puzzle! That would fucking rock.

"You're welcome." Jacob ran a hand through his short hair. "You set to get going? Check out was fifteen minutes ago, and I think the hotel crew wants to come in here and start cleaning."

I looked back, noticing the chair that McHandsome and I had desecrated last night. And the pillows that I propped up under my ass so he could hit my g-spot _just right._I got the shivers just thinking about it. "I guess I don't blame them for wanting to clean up," I murmured, distracted.

Jacob let out a barking laugh at my last comment and shook his head. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Bella."

"You, too, Jacob."

XXX

"I'm telling you, Rose, I don't know what's gotten into me these last few weeks. I'm lazy, don't feel like drinking, and prefer to veg out on the couch over anything. What's wrong with me? Aren't I too young to be turning into an old maid?"

"Bella, darling, you're being dramatic. Everyone has their off days." Rosalie took a sip from her beer bottle. Rose was my best friend from college, my first college roommate. We got along famously - so well, in fact, that I was the maid of honor in her wedding to her college boyfriend, Royce. Ironic, since I was the one who held her hand when she was getting married. I was also the one who picked up all of the pieces when her marriage fell apart six months later.

"Are you suuuuure you don't want to have a drink with me?" She prodded again.

"I'm sure. Just the idea of it makes me wanna puke in my mouth. I mean, what's that about? And a few 'off days'? It's been like - fuck, it's been a month since I've partied. Since Alice's wedding, actually."

A little over a month had passed since Alice's wedding, and I was finding myself to be a sad version of the person I was before that. I wasn't sure if it was because I was missing the wedding planning or what - I felt like a shell of what I was before Alice became Mrs. Whitlock.

"Maybe your subconscious feels bad about you never calling 'E'."

That was true, I never called the infamous "E" after Jacob gave me his phone number. For one, I wasn't sure if the phone number Jacob gave me was real, or if he was just punking me by handing it to me. Secondly, what the fuck would I say when I called him? "Hi - E, is it? Anyways, we had sex, and it may or may not have been good." Yeah right. What would have been the point? We lived on opposite ends of the US. There was no point trying to keep in touch, especially when I never should have had relations with the guy to begin with. Maybe. Probably. Most likely.

I snorted as trying to keep my train of thought. "If my subconscious felt bad about anything, it would be my banging E in the first place."

"I doubt that. You sounded like you had a fun time."

"I did. I think? I mean, Rose, I was so drunk. Maybe this is just God's way of punishing me for being so careless that night? I shouldn't have fucked someone whose name I didn't even know."

"When you say 'careless,' you don't mean … I mean, you used protection, didn't you?"

I rubbed my chin for a second. "Yeah?"

"Why'd you answer my question with a question?"

"Because I'm not sure if we did or not?"

Rose slammed her beer down on my living room coffee table. "Jesus christ, Bella! Do you know how fucking reckless that is? We need you to have a full blood work-up, stat!"

"Calm down, Magic Johnson. I already started getting tested for STDs. Condom or not, I don't want the herp, and I am determined to make sure my kitty is disease free."

"Bella, I'm not necessarily worried about diseases, here." Rose waved her hands in the air. "Jesus, woman, when the fuck was your last period?"

"It's coming, I can feel it."

Rose's face glazed over as though she just solved the meaning of life. I snapped my fingers in front of her face until she blinked a few times.

Rose spoke very slowly. "What does that mean, Bella? What do you mean 'you can feel it'?"

I frowned. "Why are you acting so weird right now?"

"Just answer the question, babe."

"I mean that I've been spotting and cramping for the last few days - and I've been crabbier than a mother fucker." A light bulb went off, and I practically jumped from my couch. "I'm PMSing! That's it!"

"PMSing? For an entire month? No, I don't think so. I'm pretty sure that you are hormonal as all hell, but I don't think it's 'cause of your period." She paused as if for effect. "Bella, is there any chance that your eggo is preggo?"

"None at all."

"Seriously?" She arched her brow.

"No, I'm fucking with you. But god would never torture a kid enough to have me be their mother." I gave her a half-assed smile.

"Get serious here, Bella."

"I am." I was shaky, trying to keep my emotions under control. My "keep it cool" facade was cracking at an alarming speed, and I felt myself tremor at the mention of being pregnant.

Rosalie noticed the change in my demeanor and reached out to pat my arm. "Hey, Bella, I'm sure it's nothing. But in case it isn't, what do you say we go pick up a pregnancy test, huh?"

XXX

"Bella? Can you hear me? If you can hear me, open the fucking door!"

I mumbled something that sounded like "Mehhhhggggahhhh." I wasn't sure what that meant, to be honest. Maybe it meant "I just took a pregnancy test and holyshitmotherfuckingballs it was _positive!_" Or maybe it was, "What the hell am I going to do? I don't even know the baby's daddy's real freaking name."

There was also a possibility that it could be translated to "Renee's gonna be super duper fucking crazy happy because her daughter, who never even _entertained_the idea of being a mother is going to birth a baby who hit the genetic lottery because its father is McHandsome."

Either way, I knew that I needed to open the door before Rose kicked it down. I sat up from the spot and slowly crawled to the entry, pulling my numb limbs across the room until I reached the handle. Prying it open, I was met with the worried face of Rosalie.

"Do you need something, honey?" she asked in a concerned voice.

"Yes," I said, clearing my throat. "I … I need … I need Alice."

She nodded her head, pulling her phone out of her pocket. "When I get a hold of her, is there anything you want me to say to her in particular?"

"Yeah." I cleared my throat again. "Don't beat around the bush. Ask her if she knows anything about this fucking 'E.' If he's employed, if he's married, if he's homeless. I need to know who the hell he is before I call him up and say 'Congrats! You're gonna be a daddy!'"

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**E/N: Reviews are appreciated. Did you like it? Hate it? Let me know! The story is all written, but feedback provides me with the tools to make sure that I don't miss anything (even though my team of AWESOME WOMEN are pretty thorough, I still have my "special" moments. Ones when they tell me to correct something and I miss it and what have you. ALL MISTAKES ARE MINE). Reviews, as always, get teasers.  
**

**Special disclaimer: unprotected sex with a stranger is still bad, and I still don't suggest doing it. Ever. Stay safe, children! STAY SAFE.**

**See ya'll next Wednesday! Same time, same place!  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Pre-reader/Beta/Reason for this story/best fic friend is Detochkina. Beta goddess/voice of reason is Ubergeekness. Pre-reader/pimp/woman who holds my hand when I'm freaking out is MizzezPattinson. THIS STORY WOULD NOT EXIST WITHOUT THESE WOMEN! Thank you all SO MUCH!**

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**Chapter Three - Leave Me Alone, I'm Allowed To Be Moody. I Have A "Child" (Aka Glorified Parasite) Eating My Food and Drinking My Drinks. You'd Be Pissed If You Were Me, Too.**

"Bella, wanna turn that music down? Alice is here."

"What?" I yelled to Rosalie over the noise coming from my iHome. "You want me to turn the music _up?_"

"Down, Bella. Turn. It. _Down."_

I ignored her and kept the music at the volume it was at as I continued pouting in the only way I could - downing shots of Sprite since I couldn't drink for the next nine fucking months.

I knew how this shit worked, man. forty weeks equals more like ten months, not nine. Since I already had a month under my belt, I was basically back to square one.

_Fuck._

Rosalie rolled her eyes, marched over to the stereo and pushed the power button. "I'm going to repeat that again, Ms. Teen Angst. Alice is here. Remember? The girl who you need answers from?"

I groaned and got up from my loveseat, abandoning my cans of Sprite to meet Alice.

I lived in my own house, paid for by my own hard work and my late Grandma Swan, may she rest in peace. I was proud of the home that I had created for myself. To think that I was going to have to share it with a snot-nosed baby who was going to use my favorite pair of pumps as a teething ring made me vomit in my mouth just a little bit.

Okay, it made me vomit in my mouth a _lot _a bit. Aaaaandd … that was actual vomit, wasn't it? I rushed toward the bathroom, forgoing all thoughts of Alice in order to pray to the porcelain gods.

I can only assume that Rosalie and Alice heard the commotion, because they joined me in the bathroom just as I was ready to flush the toilet.

"Shit," said Rosalie. "I was hoping that you weren't going to get morning sickness, because you hadn't had any up to this point."

I wiped my mouth and rested my head on the toilet. "This isn't morning sickness, 'cause it isn't morning, Rose."

"Doesn't matter, Bella. It can come at all times of the day."

"Fuck." I turned my head and looked up as though I could see right through my ceiling and straight up to the sky. "Why me? I mean, first I get pregnant after I made a drunken mistake, and now you are gonna make me sick for nine months straight?"

"It might not be for the next nine months straight, darling," Alice spoke up. "Most women who have morning sickness see the intensity of it die down by the end of the first trimester. Or around the twelfth or thirteenth week."

Rosalie must have given her an incredulous look, because Alice quickly added, "I've been reading about it. You know, in case Jasper wants to have a child soon."

Read: Alice was baby crazy.

From the corner of my eye, I watched Alice dig a book out of her handbag. "I brought the book for you, Bella. Thought you might want to, you know, read it?"

"Put it on top of the toilet." I tried to unwrap myself from around the toilet bowl. "Might as well have some reading material in here if I'm going to be getting my 'morning sick on' for the next however many more weeks."

Alice placed the book on top of the toilet and stepped back, away from me. "Do you want me and Rose to go to the living room to wait for you?"

I thought about how, given the fact that I was still feeling rotten, I was starting to feel a little better. I gently nodded my head and answered. "Yes please. I definitely still want to figure out who the hell I slept with at your wedding."

A few more minutes went by before I flushed the toilet for good and slowly trudged my way back to the living room. Rose and Alice were sitting on the couch, a blanket sprawled between the two of them. They both smiled warmly to me, probably in an attempt to make me comfortable, ignoring the fact that I just spent the last however many minutes puking.

I had the best friends ever.

Alice and I had been friends since second grade. We met each other in class when she pulled my long brown hair because she was jealous of its length Her mom made her cut her almost-black hair into a bob, and seven year old Alice wasn't happy about it at all.

An unlikely friendship formed from that day, and we became inseparable. Not even the addition of Jasper to her life could pull us apart, even though the Martha obsession drove her to make every meal from scratch and keep a pristine household.

I hadn't felt as close to anyone else as I'd felt to Alice, until I met Rosalie.

Rose and I met freshman year of college, when, by chance, the University of Washington campus housing paired us together as roommates. It was love at first bunk for the two of us - we bonded over the two of us having blue eyes, and we've been best friends ever since. I'd been there for the good, the bad, and the ugly with Rosalie, and as far as I was concerned, we were sisters who were separated at birth. She was, like, my sister from another mister.

As close as Alice and I were, and as close as Rose and I were, the two didn't mix as well as I had originally thought they would. I mean, it made sense, didn't it? They were my best friends, so they should've been best friends with each other, too, right? That's what I thought, but I was wrong. I mean, they liked each other just fine, but didn't see each other as "best friend soul mates" like I did. It meant a lot to me that they were both here for me at that moment.

I walked over to them and was pulled to the couch by Alice, who enveloped me in a hug before depositing me in the seat between her and Rose.

"So, the father of the baby ..."

"... Is one of Jasper's friends from college." I finished for her.

"And you don't know which one it is?"

I cringed. "Not a clue. He's one of the guys that you introduced me to, and his name starts with an 'E.' _Please _tell me that narrows things down for you."

"It does, a little bit."

I waved my hand, urging her to continue.

"Jasper has two friends whose names that start out with 'E'. I introduced both of them to you on my wedding night. You met both of them around the same time, which was right after you gave your speech."

"Fuck."

"Yeah." Alice agreed. "But honestly, I think you should be able to tell the two of them apart. They both are very different physically, so you have that going for you."

"Alice, I can't really remember what McHandsome looked like- other than the fact that he was handsome."

"I brought pictures."

I breathed a small sigh of relief. I wouldn't have been able to recount any of his features individually, but I was pretty confident that I should be able to pick his face out of a photograph. Maybe. Hopefully.

"Okay, so this one has Emmett. He's the one with the football jersey on, right … there." Alice handed me a picture and pointed to the man.

"He looks ..." I squinted. Emmett looked familiar, he really did. But he wasn't the man that I slept with. "That guy, even though he's crazy attractive, isn't McHandsome."

"Not the baby daddy?" Rose asked, taking the picture from my hands. "Oh wow, Alice. This man is _hot._" She whistled in appraisal.

If we weren't trying to figure out who the fuck knocked me up, I was sure Rosalie would have asked about Emmett's deets, but since we had something more pressing to talk about, she didn't ask anymore questions.

"Then I'm sure it's Edward." Alice thumbed through the stack of pictures that she had. She'd obviously raided Jasper's college photographs and brought all of them on the off-chance that I needed to look through them over and over again in my attempt to dig up a memory from her wedding night.

"Here's one of him. He's in the 'I carry no cash' shirt."

I grabbed the picture and immediately felt my mouth go dry. Strong jaw. Devilish smile. Smiling eyes. Gorgeous hair. "That's him." I was unable to peel my eyes from the photograph.

Rosalie looked over my shoulder at the picture I was holding. "So, McHandsome's real name is Edward, huh?" She stared at the image of the man in front of me again. "'McHandsome' suits him."

I continued staring at the man who was smiling in the photograph. He seemed so happy, so carefree. I hoped that I wasn't about to completely alter -for the worse- his seemingly fun life by telling him that I was carrying his one night stand baby.

Fuck it. Maybe he should have worn a condom, huh? Life was a bitch like that.

I looked up from the picture and directed my gaze to Alice. "Tell me what you know about Edward."

"Well, he's single, lives in New York, and works at a hospital. That's all I know, hon. I'm sorry, I wish I knew more to tell you."

I felt my muscles relax when I heard that he was single. At least I had that weight off my shoulder. I wasn't a home-wrecker! _One point for Bella._

Mark another point for Bella, too, because baby daddy had a job. Sure, Alice was vague about him working at a hospital, so he could be a janitor for all I knew.

But a job was a job.

I patted Alice's knee, a little relieved at those revelations. I allowed myself a small smile. "It's not your fault that your maid of honor decided to get obliterated at your wedding and conceived a child with one of your husband's best friends from college. A man that she knew so little about, in fact, she didn't even know his name."

I tried not to feel so bad. I mean, the man probably didn't know much about me, either. Maybe he knew that I was an author, and I got my big break because one of my professors pulled some strings and sent in a short story of mine, which gave me a lot of publicity … but that was the story that everyone liked to hear. No one liked to hear about the fact that I was a product of divorce, or that my favorite color was blue and I liked to dance and read in my spare time … they liked hearing about how one of my professors changed my life for the best by getting me published.

"You're right, it isn't my fault. Maybe I shouldn't be friends with such unsavory characters." Alice joked, jabbing me in the arm with her shoulder.

"Smart ass."

"Better than being a dumbass, right?"

"I'd call you a dumbass regardless … but you aren't the one who is pregnant, now are you? That title goes to this jackass right here," I said, pointing to myself.

Needless to say, the joke fell flat. My friends didn't react to my teasing, so I let a pregnant pause fill the room before I cleared my throat. "I was kidding, you guys. May as well make light about the situation; it's not like I can get out of it either way." I stood up from my spot and pointed toward my bedroom. "I'll be right back; I have to grab something."

I needed to find the slip of paper that contained E's phone number. As long as I had my friends with me, and well, wasn't puking, I figured now was as good a time as any to call Edward and fill him in on the fact that I had his spawn growing in my belly.

Once I reached my closet, I pulled out the box that I had just tucked away that I had saved all of the things from Alice's wedding in.

_Wedding program, menu that I didn't even use, copy of the speech that I didn't even use...ahhh there it is._

I grabbed the slip of paper and studied it again.

_Had a fucking fantastic time._  
_555.555.8292_  
_E_

So "E" stood for Edward. I think that, given the choice, I'd probably go by my first initial if I were him, too. _Edward _was too old-fashioned of a name. It was too _Pretty Woman_-ish. And shortening it up to Ed or Eddie was equally, if not more so, dreadful.

If my child was a boy, his name would not be Edward junior. I'd put my foot down on that.

I confirmed that my phone was still in the front pocket of my jeans before I walked back into my living room with the only lifeline I had to my one night stand: the piece of paper with Edward's phone number.

I didn't brace myself. I didn't even tell Alice and Rosalie that I was doing it. As soon as I walked into the room, I had my phone out and had already dialed Edward's number.

I pressed the phone against my ear, trying not to worry about how hard this phone call was going to be to make. Even though I was trying to stay calm, as soon as the phone started ringing, my palms started sweating. Would Edward answer? I had no idea what his work schedule was like, or if he was busy. I mean, it was something like eleven o'clock at night over there or something.

"Hello?"

_Holy shit, he fucking answered! _I tried to find my voice, but nothing came out.

"Hello?" he repeated.

I cleared my throat. And readied myself to talk.

"Uh, hello? Is this … Edward?"

"This is." He confirmed. "May I ask who _this _is?"

His voice was hot. Like smooth, melted caramel. Just thinking about his voice sent shivers down my spine; shivers that threatened to make my lady bits dance.

Thinking about my lady bits tended to facilitate me in saying the most ridiculous shit. "Holy fucking shit, your voice is just as hot as I remembered it," I blurted, before smacking myself in the face.

"Uhmmm … thank you, I guess?" He let out a low chuckle at my lack of verbal filter. "You didn't answer my question though."

"Sorry about that. Uh, my name is Bella. I don't know if you remember me, but -"

"Bella. Bella. Hhmmm … Bella."

I cleared out my throat and rolled my eyes as though he would be able to see me through the phone. "Yes, Bella. We met at Jasper and Alice's wedding?"

There was a pause. "Ah, yes, Bella. What's up? I had started to give up hope that you were going to call me."

"Yeah, I've been busy. Not to mention, I wasn't too sure what the point would be in me calling someone who lives in New York when I live in Washington state."

He chuckled again. "You don't remember talking to me very much the night of Jasper's wedding, do you?"

"Says the guy who didn't remember who_ Bella _was."

I imagined him smiling.

"I'm moving up to Washington state in a couple of months, actually. It'd be nice to have a friend other than Jasper once I move up there."

That kind of changed things, didn't it? Absentee dad who lives across the country versus absentee dad that lives fifteen minutes away. That would make a world of difference.

"Really? Why are you moving from New York to bum-fucked Washington?" I asked, truly baffled.

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. Maybe? Maybe we could find a middle ground or something. Maybe be those kind of parents that get along, maybe we could even be friends?

"Well, my ex-girlfriend and I decided to give things a go again, and she lives there. Since I just lost my job, I decided that it was best for me to move over there so she could be my sugar mama and support me."

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

It was at this point that I dropped my phone. Because God decided that my purpose in life was to be tortured, the phone, given my luck, fell on my big toe.

I picked up the phone again and tried not to cry in pain or vomit all over myself after hearing that my two biggest fears were just confirmed. Those things were bad enough before I dropped my phone on my poor, defenseless toe.

_I'm a home-wrecker and baby daddy is a deadbeat. Fuck my life. Maybe I should have done more than just drop my phone on my toe._

"Well fuck me," I uttered-out loud.

Edward started laughing. I waited. He took his time to regain his composure and said, "I'm kidding, Bella. Just giving you some shit, you know? Since it took you, like, what? A month to call me? I figured that I'd give you a hard time for it."

What the fuck is he talking about? "Excuse me?"

"I'm not moving because of an ex-girlfriend, or because I lost my job. I'm moving to be closer to my aunt and uncle, and because I got a new job."

"That's … that's ..."

"I know, I have a terrible sense of humor. I couldn't help myself." He paused for a few more moments. "You know, come to think of it, why _did _you call me? Like you said, we live so far away from each other, and it's been over a month, and you obviously didn't remember much about me ..."

Oh shit. I hated being put on the spot. "Yeah, I had a reason to call."

"Okay ...?"

I tensed up, freaking out beyond belief because it was now or never. Either I told Edward now that he'd knocked me up, or I should forget about him and the idea of him ever knowing his child. There would be no point in continuing to talk with each other if I was going to hide the fact that we created a child together, you know?

But I froze. I couldn't get my mouth to move, let alone say a word.

Edward sighed. "You know, Bella, I really liked you. I thought that we really kind of connected at Jasper's wedding. But this phone call has got to be the most bizarre 'after a one night stand' phone call, ever."

Fuck that! No one ever referred to me as bizarre, even when I was being bizarre. I put on my bitch face, regardless of the fact that he couldn't see me, and tightened my hand around my phone.

"I'm pregnant."

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

"Did you hear me, Edward? I said I'm pregnant."

Edward sighed. "I did hear you. And I know that I was cruel making up a lame reason to move to Washington, but I'm trying to figure out why you'd think it was funny to joke around with me about you being pregnant."

"I'm not kidding, Edward. I seriously am pregnant with your child."

"Ha-ha. Is Jasper over there or something? Did he think that it would be hilarious to fuck with me like this?"

I let out a deep breath. This man still wasn't getting it, was he? "Listen, I have a doctor's appointment in three weeks, in which I'll be able to get an ultrasound picture printed out for you. If you decide to finally believe me by then, let me know, so I can get you a copy of the pictures. If not, have fun living in denial. If you decide to deny that you are the baby daddy, don't worry, I'll make sure to cover all our bases and lie, and tell our child that he or she was a test-tube baby."

I didn't wait for Edward's reply. I hit the "end call" button on my phone without a second thought and put my phone back into my pocket.

"Holy fuck," Rosalie said, her face painted with shock.

"Did that seriously just happen?" Alice asked, her jaw hanging open.

"Yes, that did just happen. Lay off me, guys, I'm starving."

"Well," Rosalie said, her eyes still glazed over. "How about we rectify that, my dear pregnant friend?"

Now that I had spoken with Edward, I felt leagues better. So much better, in fact, that I really _was _fucking starving. I walked into the kitchen, grabbed my handful of takeout menus, and brought them back to the living room where my friends were still sitting.

"Pick out what you want for dinner, and I'll order from whatever menus you guys are ordering from. May as well have something worth puking up in the morning, right?"

Judging by the sound of crickets that had filled the air, my joke fell flat. It was gonna be a loooooong nine months if I couldn't even joke about this with my best friends.

_Crap._

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**E/N: Reviews get teasers (as long as they aren't close to Wednesday, when I post. Sorry, Getoffmyrob! I suck at life. Maybe this shout-out of sorts will make up for the fact that you didn't get a teaser?). Also, if you have PMs blocked, I can't send you a teaser. So unblock those bastids!**

**Before I forget, THANK YOU SO MUCH for reading this story. It means a lot to me that someone is actually reading this! I've been sitting on this story since September, because I wanted to make sure that it was done and I'd be able to update regularly. Now that I'm finally posting, it's almost surreal. I mean, holy crap! Someone else other than my betas and pre-readers is reading this story!**

**So thank you. Thank you to all of you reading, reviewing, and alerting this story. And some of you are passing the word around, rec'cing this story - ya'll make me cry happy tears. Seriously, you guys are the best!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: My "team" of women who read/spit shine this story before I uploaded it are the best. A HUGE thanks to MizzezPattinson for pre-reading (and allowing me to pimp myself out like a fool on Twitter). Ubergeekness used her magical beta powers to make this readable (she's a grammar queen). And Detochkina? Detochkina is my herrrrrro (am I getting annoying with my hetero-love for this woman? I hope not - my love for Detochkina is ENDLESS. Endless, I tell ya. ;) ).**

**And big, ginormous hugs to my LFBF co-author, PaigeParkker. I adore this woman, she brings the formage side in me out. It's quite delicious, actually.**

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**Chapter Four - How The Fuck Is It Possible That A Child Who Is In It's Early Stages Of Conception Looks Alarmingly Like A Tadpole? Ick.**

"Do you see that little flicker right there? That's the heartbeat."

I watched in rapt fascination as the little thing that the nurse at the OBGYN's office claimed was my child flittered and jumped across the screen.

What? The baby didn't look human - that's all I'm sayin'.

"Is that normal? For the baby to be so active, I mean?" I touched my tummy. "Or is my child gonna be hyperactive?"

Nancy, the ultrasound technician who was helping me, laughed and patted my leg. "It's perfectly normal, my dear."

She pressed some buttons and printed off a few pictures before removing the ultrasound tools and letting me get dressed again.

"Okay, Bella. Your conception date looks pretty spot-on, which gives you a due date of February thirteenth."

"That seems so far away," I said, almost to myself.

"I know it does. But trust me, my dear, it will fly by faster than you even realize." She handed me a piece of paper the doctor had handed her with instructions of tests for the lab to perform and when I should schedule my next appointment. I got my blood drawn and made my next appointment in a complete daze.

_This is real. I'm seriously going to be a mom. _It's one thing to have read "pregnant" on three pregnancy tests, it's a whole different thing to have actually seen an image of your child on a screen.

I walked out of the doctor's office with my purse tucked under my arm and my head held high. Once I was in my car, I started hyperventilating.

What the fuck was I going to do? I was going to be a single mom, and the baby's dad hadn't gotten back to me since I hung up on him three weeks ago - which sucked the more I thought about it - I had no idea what I was doing, and I was going to have to figure it all out on my own.

So, I was going to have to raise a child by myself. A baby, who, by the looks of it, was going to be hyperactive.

Great.

My phone rang, the unexpected sound causing me to practically jump out of my skin. Flustered, I answered it before I even looked at the caller ID.

"Hello?"

"Bella?"

"Fuck!" I yelled, immediately ending the call. Who the hell did Edward think he was, calling me three weeks after he accused me of joking with him that I was pregnant? Asshole.

The phone rang again. This time I took a deep breath before pressing the phone to my ear once more.

"Bella, please don't hang up on me!" Edward spoke quickly with an urging tone into the phone.

"Why? Why shouldn't I hang up on you?"

"Because I'm … sorry."

"Not good enough, Edward. That's a horseshit apology if I've ever heard one."

"I know that I'm an asshole. I'm a huge asshole who is practically begging on my knees for you to just … not hang up on me."

"I haven't hung up yet, have I?" I looked at the ultrasound pictures that I had placed on the car seat next to me. "Why did you call Edward? Why today, of all days?"

"Because I talked to Jasper, and he told me that today was an important day."

_Note to self: kick Jasper in the balls next time I see him._"And? So what?"

"So … I flew into town. I'd really like to have this conversation with you in person."

The news genuinely surprised me. Maybe he had something for work to do? Although he most likely had a good reason for coming into town, I couldn't help but be snarky.

"You flew into town? Why? Did you need some pampering from your sugar mama?"

"Can I take you out to lunch?" Edward asked, ignoring my last comment.

"I don't know. I'm not hungry," I said, lying through my teeth. I was crazy hungry, especially after my bout of morning sickness this morning and the fact that I ended up missing breakfast because of it.

"Please, Bella?"

"Arggggg." I was pretty sure it was my tummy talking. _Traitorous bitch._

I eventually agreed, reluctantly, to meet at a restaurant down the street from the hospital. A huge part of me hoped that he would get lost on the way, while the other part of me was thankful to be headed to a place close to where I already was so I could get food in my tummy before the spawn decided to eat its way out.

I arrived at the restaurant and nearly knocked myself out as I reached for the door handle at the same time as someone else did and was roughly pushed aside.

"Excuse you," I said curtly. "Mind watching where you are going? I'm fucking pregnant, asshole."

"I'm so sorry," the guy that I bumped into said. "I'm just nervous, and I wasn't watching where I was-going ..."

Once I really looked at the guy that almost knocked me to the floor, I realized that the guy that I ran into had familiar hair … and eyes. And … fingers ...

Edward recognized me at about the same time I recognized him.

"How did you get here so quickly?" I asked the stranger - nee - Edward.

"I was at the hospital, visiting my uncle Carlisle. Though, the same could be asked of you. How did _you _get here so quickly?"

"I just got done with my doctor's appointment. Though, what do you know? I could live around here."

"You don't live by the hospital."

"How the hell do you know that?"

"Because you are a successful author, Bella. You don't live in a crappy house located right next to the hospital."

I eyed him up. "How do you know so much about me?"

"Well, we did talk quite a bit before we had sex at Jasper's wedding."

"So you say."

"Yep."

We had finally made our way to the hostess stand, so Edward requested a table for us. The waitress was eyeing Edward up appreciatively, and I wanted to scream at her to go ahead and have him. _Be warned he's got super-fucking-sperm, so guard your uterus with your life, 'cause that bastard will knock you up on the first try!_

Alas, I didn't yell it out. We settled into our seats and ordered our drinks.

Once the waitress walked away and left Edward and I on our own, he looked like he was extremely uncomfortable, as if he'd rather be anywhere but having lunch with me.

"Hey, you can calm down, you know," I said, trying to ease the mood. "I'm already pregnant. That's worse case scenario here, right?"

I noticed Edward's mouth twitching as he continued to look at the menu in front of him.

"You know, I'm not sure why _you _are uncomfortable right now." I shut my menu and placed it on the table. "It's not like you're the pregnant one."

He shook his head and closed his menu. "I'm the one that got you pregnant, right?"

"Right."

"So that means that technically _we _are pregnant, right?"

"Sure. I'm the one carrying your baby, blah blah blah."

"This affects me as much as it affects you, Bella."

I quirked an eyebrow. "It does? I thought that by you not getting back to me over the span of the last three weeks meant it didn't affect you at all!"

Somehow my voice had raised at the end of that sentence, and patrons around the restaurant were glaring at me in annoyance. I glared right back. I was pretty sure that action caused a rude old bitty in the table next to us to choke on her chicken pot pie.

The waitress chose that moment to come back and take our orders. Regaining my cool after having ordered half the menu, I turned my attention back to Edward.

"I'm so sorry about my actions, Bella. And I know that saying 'I'm sorry' really means nothing to you right now - which is why I decided that I needed to fly into town. Apologizing over the phone doesn't hold the same weight that groveling in person seems to have."

"While I can't argue with your reasoning, and groveling is what you would need to do, by the way, why? Why, Edward, are you even here? What does it matter to you?"

"Can I see the ultrasounds?"

A sour look crossed my face. "What? You flew all this fucking way just to see the ultrasounds?"

"I'm trying to prove a point, Bella. May I please see the ultrasounds?"

I grabbed them out of my purse and gingerly handed them to him. I felt strangely protective over the pictures. Maybe it was because they were the only images I had of my child so far.

He looked at them for a moment before smiling from ear to ear.

"Could you walk away from this?" He held up the most clear picture of our child. The fetus looked like it was a gummy bear, its arms and legs tiny, compared to the size of its head.

"No." I didn't even need to think about my answer. "Of course I couldn't walk away."

"Neither could I." He was still smiling. "I'm not going anywhere, Bella. This is my child, too, and I plan on being there for him."

"Him?" I pursed my lips for a moment. "You think it's going to be a boy?"

"I do."

"You sound sure of yourself." I was unable to stop from laughing.

"I'm a Cullen, Bella. A strong, masculine Cullen. I produce men."

"You produce men? As in, this isn't your first child?"

That made him stumble. "Well, no ..."

"So there is a chance that you could produce women, right?"

"I guess?"

"Ha." I took a drink of water, trying to keep from laughing again. "Then my money's on our child being a girl."

Edward and I shared a smile, and it felt good to be joking with him.

"You know, I like laughing with you better than wanting to rip your head off."

"I much prefer laughing with you than having my head ripped off." Edward took a drink of the coke that he had ordered. "Thank you so much for agreeing to meet for lunch."

"Hey, it's not every day that my friend Edward comes into Seattle from New York, right?" I said, trying to keep things light.

"Right."

There it was once more, that smile. When Edward smiled, his whole face lit up, and damn if it didn't make my kitty sing and purr and want to have a "up close and personal" encounter with him again.

Stupid fucking kitty - it was Edward's fault that she was in the state she was in right now- didn't she understand that?

Ugh. Where was my kitty's mind? I adjusted my pants, which were sitting slightly snugger than I was used to. _Pregnancy weight gain, here we come._

The rest of our lunch went by quite well, considering. When the waitress came back with our to-go containers and the bill, Edward reached forward and slipped his card alongside what we owed and informed the waitress that we were on the same bill, and that he'd like to pay for both. The stupid bitch had taken the time to separate both of our checks out - and when she came back, I found out why. She'd written her phone number on his bill. The idea struck me as so funny that I actually laughed out loud.

"What's so funny?" he asked me, scratching the back of his head.

I motioned to where the waitress had written her phone number. "You haven't even moved here yet and you are already lining up your dates."

He gave me an incredulous look. "You actually think that I'd go on a date with a waitress who served me and another woman? Either the waitress is ballsy or very, very stupid. And my money is on the latter."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because we obviously aren't related, unless by adoption, because our features are far too different. Not to mention the fact that we have had ultrasound pictures displayed on the table almost the entire time that we've been here, and your body language, as well as mine, have proven that the pictures mean something to the both of us. The waitress would be a dumbass to want to get involved with me when there is obviously something going on between the two of us."

"Stranger things have happened, I'm sure."

"Stranger things, huh? Like getting pregnant from a one night stand?"

"Yeah, like that."

Edward took a deep breath and let out a laugh. A few moments went by, before he blurted, "Have dinner with me, Bella."

"What? We just had lunch, Edward ..."

"So? Have dinner with me."

"Why?" I crossed my arms over my chest. "Why have dinner together tonight?"

"Because I just realized that I really don't know much about you. And you are kind of the mother of my unborn child, so it would probably benefit me to know more about you."

I couldn't argue with that logic, could I? "Yeah, I guess that makes sense. But tonight? Don't you have something to do? You came to Seattle for a reason, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I came to see you. I told you that, didn't I? Anyway, we should have dinner together."

"Is this because you don't want to be alone tonight? If it is, I'm sure the waitress would _love _to keep you company ..."

"No, Bella, I really just want to talk to you more. Since we can't go out and get a coffee or a drink because of the caffeine and alcohol contents, respectively, I figured that dinner was the best way to go."

"That's all? You just want to talk more?"

"Of course."

"Likely story, Edward. Likely story."

"Is that a yes to dinner then?"

I narrowed my eyes. "Why is it that I get the feeling that you aren't used to begging to go out to dinner with someone?"

He shrugged. "Dinner? Tonight? Say, seven o'clock?"

Ah! This man didn't know how to give up, did he? "Don't make me regret it, Edward."

"You won't, I promise."

"Fine - you better have someplace good in mind … because if our child says that the food doesn't agree with he or she, you will be paying the consequences."

"Deal."

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**E/N: SO, whatcha think? Reviewers get a teaser (and eternal praise from me. Just sayin').**

**Thank you to you guys who are rec'cing, favoriting, alerting, and reviewing this story. I wouldn't really care about uploading if it weren't for you guys. I have a big amount of love for each and every one of ya'll!**

**And for the few of you who've been reading LFBF - Paige and I are working on it AS I'M TYPING THIS. Hopefully the next (and probably last) chapter will be up soon! Thanks for being so patient!  
**


	5. Chapter 5

******A/N: Sorry this is posting later in the day than normal - in the last 20 hours or so, my hometown (and current town) was subject to a massive flash flood. My basement flooded just a little, and I consider myself lucky, because many people had at least a foot of water in their basement. The worst part is the amount of damage the water did in general! Roads are completely washed out, businesses completely submerged in water, some residents needed to be evacuated from their homes. Overall, a shitty day. Know what I mean?**

**Thank you, as always, to MizzezPattinson, who not only puts up with my idiotic ramblings, but gives a new definition to "fic pimp". Another thank you to Ubergeekness, who is beyond patient with me and my story (but mostly patient with me). And who could forget Detochkina? I owe her everything that this story is. Does a part of this story make you laugh? If so, I dedicate that part to her. She's kind of the best.**

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******Chapter Five - Sweet Baby Jesus, Please Help Me. I Mean, My Brain Is Saying, "No, No, No!" While My Kitty Is Saying, "Go, Go, Go!" - What To Do, What To Do?**

"Yes! Oh fuck, yes! Right … there! Oh my _god_, don't ever fucking stop!"

The last statement was ridiculous, because obviously we would have to stop - there was no way that anyone would ever be able to have sex forever.

Oh yeah, Edward and I were having sex. In the list of "epically bad ideas that Bella Swan has had," this fell into third place.

First place on said list, of course, was taken by "had sex with Edward Cullen on first day I met him, may or may not have used condom." I think the fact that we conceived a child from that action makes its first place on the list pretty self explanatory. Second place was held by "lost virginity to Mike Newton." That man was a vile, vile thing who wore way too much cologne and dyed his hair blond, and if life had taught me anything, it was to never trust a man who dyes his hair blond, but I digress.

How did I get to the point where I was fucking the father of my one-night-stand baby, you ask? Good question. If I were being honest with myself, I'd say that it was nearly impossible for me to be immune to Edward's charm and good looks. That man had a way about him, and it drove me absolutely mad to the point where I lost all sensibility, and couldn't help but screw him like a rabbit.

The night started out simply enough, actually.

He picked me up, which was a feat in and of itself, considering that he wasn't from Seattle and didn't know his way around at all, and brought me to an amazingly nice restaurant for dinner.

At the restaurant, we made small talk and covered the bases of each other's general knowledge. Edward learned that I was from Phoenix, age twenty-eight, only child of Renee Dwyer and Charlie Swan, author of one fledgling book and two wildly popular ones, and a Virgo who hated long walks on the beach but loved Pina Coladas. In turn, I learned that Edward was from Chicago, his friends called him "E" because the name "Edward" weirded them out, he was thirty-two years old, also an only child, was a gynecologist who was now relocating to Seattle, and he didn't know his astrology sign but his birthday was June twentieth. His parents were Edward Senior and Elizabeth Cullen, both from New York, where Edward was born, raised, and had lived his whole life.

Wait. Did I just say that he was a gynecologist? Yes, yes I did.

I was having a baby with a vagina doctor. I win at life.

The first thought that crossed my mind was "Goodness, this man must drive his patients fucking crazy because he is beyond hot."

The second thought that flitted through my head was "What is he gonna think of my perfect kitty when the head and shoulders of his child bursts through my poor private area, completely destroying it?"

To say that I was devastated at the mention of Edward's career choice was an understatement. He could tell that I was upset when I found out, too.

"Hey, don't overthink this." He pleaded. "It's not that big of a deal."

"Not that big of a deal? How is the fact that you feel women's goodies all day long 'not that big of a deal?'"

"Listen, I get it. Every woman that I date ends up getting hung up on my profession somewhere along the line. And while I originally started along this path with other intentions in mind, I had really grown to like what I do, and I don't make any apologies for it. I'm not a pervert, nor am obsessed with vaginas, so don't accuse me of that, either."

All I heard when he said that was, "Blah blah blah, women I date hate that I look at vaginas, blah blah blah, vagina." I couldn't shake the image of Edward putting hundreds of women's feet into those annoying foot stirrups.

Edward must have known that I zoned out, because he chose that moment to wave his hand in front of my face.

"Did I lose you there?"

"Huh?"

"I asked if I'd lost you? You had this weird look on your face."

"Uh huh uhm ... what?" I shook my head like it was an Etch-A-Sketch, and I tried to clear an image I made. "No, you didn't lose me, it's just … you don't think you are going to deliver my baby, do you?"

He let out a full-belly laugh. "No." He gasped for air. "I don't want to deliver _our_baby."

"Why not? Are you too good for that? Or you don't want to look at my vajayjay like that?" I glared at him.

"Not at all. It's just ... I'm going to be a general doctor here, I'm not specializing in gynecology anymore. I want to work with my uncle Carlisle at his practice. Plus, I want to make sure to be on the 'daddy' end of things with our child. Does that make sense?"

"So you're saying that since you are moving to your uncle's practice, I won't have to explain to our child why daddy looks at women's hoo-ha's all day long?"

He smiled. "Sure, if you want to put it that way, that's what I'm saying."

I exaggerated dragging my arm across my forehead. "Phew. Dodged a bullet there. Can you imagine our darling daughter bringing you to 'show and tell', and you having to explain your job to a room full of kindergartners? I'd imagine the screams that would come from that classroom would be deafening."

"Ha ha."

I grabbed my water and swirled it around in my glass. "So you're going to work with your uncle, huh? That's why you are moving here?"

"Yeah, that about sums it up. Since I was a little boy, I've imagined working with my uncle. He mentioned the opportunity to do so last summer, and ever since then, I have been working towards leaving New York and relocating here. I've never lived anywhere else other than New York state, so this is an experience for me to say the least. Though I couldn't imagine being anywhere else, now that I have something tying me here irrevocably."

"That's actually really cute."

The lighting in the restaurant sucked, but I was still able to notice the tips of Edward's ears turn pink when I complimented him.

Edward basically blushing made my girlie parts tingle.

I should have known at that moment that Edward was unknowingly charming me into sleeping with him again, but I was so wrapped up in the fact that he was being so … sweet. Adorable. Not like the sexual predator that fucked and ducked, which was the vibe I got from him after our first encounter.

We continued making small talk, and it was nice to know that it looked like we were going to be able to be friends since I was going to be stuck with Edward for at least the next eighteen years. His sense of humor meshed completely with mine, and it seemed as though he would actually have been the kind of guy I would have liked to date - once upon a time, before I was on the short list to be a mommy. He watched sports, and while in New York, hung out with his best friends Emmett and Jacob. While here he hung out with Jasper, his only good friend in Seattle so far, and generally liked to have a good time, which included imbibing in a beer - or two - or ten. He was cute, attentive, and charismatic, and it took everything in my body that night not to develop a crush on him.

Apparently _cute__, __attentive__, __and__charismatic_ were the deadly trio when it came to my wanting to keep my legs together. Because of the deadly trio, Edward had me writhing underneath him in my bed by eleven o'clock that night. Honestly, all he had to do to get me to drop my panties again was ask me if I needed him to escort me home.

I had invited him into my house for a drink. I mean, obviously he was the only one who would be drinking, but it felt wrong to let him go after dinner. As if there was something else that we needed to do before the night was over or something.

Edward sat on my couch and I retreated to my kitchen to pour him a glass of brandy. As I stood there, wondering if any man ever asked for something girlie like a glass of Malibu, I heard Edward yell to me from the living room.

"You have a really great place, Bella."

"Thanks." I grabbed his glass and walking back to the living room.

"It means a lot to me that you invited me back to your house." Edward took the drink from me.

"Why?" I took a seat in the couch next to Edward.

"Because." He took a sip from his drink. "I wasn't ready to leave you yet."

_Oh__shit__. _ This guy was a smooth talker, wasn't he? With that comment, I heard my kitty purr, and I didn't have any way to answer him other than the act of attacking him with my lips.

I might have initially taken him by surprise, but as soon as he managed to place his drink on my coffee table, he returned my kiss with fervor.

"God, you taste so good, Bella," he said between kisses.

"That's the brandy, not me."

"No, it isn't. It's you. You taste...amazing."

As if to punctuate his point, he moved his lips from my own down to my neck, where he left tiny little sucking kisses. I couldn't help but smile.

"Stop trying to mark me." I giggled.

"Why?" He moved his mouth to my collarbone.

"Because you've already marked me. In about four months, everyone will see exactly what you conquered. Or, shit, considering how much weight I've already gained, a month or two."

"You are perfect, Bella. Especially with my baby growing in your belly."

My comment must have spurred him on more as he moved to lift my shirt over my head. Because I was obviously a horny fool, I obliged, and threw the article of clothing across the room.

Edward's mouth immediately went back to my body, and when he found a nipple, he groaned as he pulled it into his mouth.

"Oh fuck, you taste divine."

"Probably my body wash." I groaned.

"No, it's you, Bella." His mouth trailed lower, and his eyes looked up to me as if to ask for permission to take my pants off.

The rational side of me said, _don't be a fool, Bella. This is going far too fast, and you know it_. The irrational side of me said,_ holy fuck, I hope he takes the underwear off at the same time as the pants to save us some precious time._

_What's the worst that could happen?_ my vagina asked. _He already knocked you up. May as well take advantage of the extra hormones your body is producing._

The rational side shrugged her shoulders. _ Can't argue with that logic, can I?_ She gave up quickly as she focused in on Edward's rock hard erection that had been rubbing against my thigh.

I lifted myself up, allowing Edward to take my pants and my underwear off. _Hallelujah__. _Edward's hand immediately made its way to the promised land, and my back arched as I took in the sensation of his hand.

_This __is __going __too __fast__, _rational side said, moaning. _But __hot d__amn__, __it __feels __good __to __go __fast__._

_I __wanna __go __fast__! _Vajayjay exclaimed, channeling her inner Ricky Bobby.

Agreeing with my vag, I positioned myself up on my knees and tugged at Edward's shirt. "This - has - got - to - go," I said breathlessly.

"But ..." Edward started, lifting his mouth from my breast. "I'd need both hands, and - I'd - have to stop."

"Make it quick." I moved from his lap and started in on his pants. I unbuttoned those suckers in record time and helped him shimmy out of them faster than he could blink.

When we were done, both successfully naked, I stood back and admired our handiwork.

There Edward was, nude and sprawled out on my couch. Admittedly, my couch had never looked so good. Hot fucking _damn_, I wanted to tap that - again.

"Bedroom. _Now__._" I demanded. What I had in mind for him wasn't suitable for the couch, no matter how good he looked laying there.

He obliged, quickly jumping to his feet. His mouth quickly found mine, and we had to stumble with my blind lead backwards to the staircase.

"Upstairs?" he asked.

"Mmmm...yes."

With one swift movement, Edward was carrying me up the stairs.

"I'm too heavy."

"You probably weigh one hundred ten pounds, soaking wet _and_pregnant. How many times do I have to tell you that your body is perfect to me?"

Because I liked compliments, no matter how untrue I felt them to be, I played along and didn't argue. Turning my attention back to the fact that I was cradled in this beautiful man's arms, I kissed the side of his face before moving my mouth to his ear. "The bedroom at the end of the hall," I whispered as I pulled his earlobe into my mouth.

He walked us into the room and fumbled for the light switch. Finding it, he turned it on.

"I want to see you. All of you. Pregnant or not."

He continued carrying me until he reached the bed. He carefully placed me on top of my sheets before sweetly kissing my forehead and letting me go.

Crap. That kiss was sentimental.

I shook the idea off and stared at his penis.

Now that isn't sentimental, that's just … plain … manly. _Reow_. I want that - now.

I lunged toward him just as he backed away from me.

"Condom?" he asked.

My eyebrows raised. I mean, seriously? You'd think he would want to just bareback it now that we already had a bun in the oven and my STD panel came back negative.

"Bed stand." I pointed at the right side table.

He walked over to the bed stand and pulled out a condom. Rolling it on and disposing of the wrapper in the garbage can by the bed, he pounced on the bed and started crawling towards me.

If I wasn't busy thinking that this was going too fast, I would have been reveling in how perfect Edward was.

Playful, sexy, sweet, and mine. Or, I mean, mine until he was finished.

Yeah. That.

He crawled up to me and placed a quick kiss above my belly button.

Shit, shit, shit! Why did this man need to be so sweet?

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even notice that Edward had moved himself farther down the bed. "I'm going to take care of you first," he said as his mouth hovered over my kitty.

I swear, I was gone with the first lick. I think that we had done some of this the night of Alice's wedding, because the sight of Edward between my thighs seemed oddly familiar. Though, if we had done some of _this_ that night, I deserved to be beaten for not completely remembering, because this man was ungodly talented at playing with his tongue … and his fingers … and-oh!

"Oh, so good. So fucking good!" I cried out.

Edward let me ride out my orgasm before he crawled up from between my legs and gave me a quick kiss on my lips. I grabbed his hair and pulled his face to mine, completely unfazed by my taste that still lingered on his lips. "You are really good at that. Not to give you a big head or anything." I teased, licking his lips.

The way Edward responded to me was by positioning himself, ready to enter. _I __like __the __way __he __thinks__._

Edward questioned me with his eyes and I nodded in the affirmative before he entered me.

There really were no words at that time. My mind turned to mush. Somehow, this man was able to hit my G-spot with every thrust, and _it __was __glorious__._ Once again I told Edward that I never wanted him to stop.

Yeah, it was that good.

I screamed obscenities, came again, and saw god before Edward finished.

Once we were done, both of us breathing hard from the act, the weight of what we just did crashed upon me. I was sated, but I was also ashamed of myself. I was such a sucker! I didn't even have alcohol to blame for my side of this round of sexual escapades, either. Fuck.

Edward rolled off me and grinned.

"What are you smiling about?" I asked, covering myself up with my sheet.

"You."

"What about me?"

"I've thought about having you many times since Jasper's wedding, and now I just had you."

"Gee," I said, running a hand through my sex-tangled hair. "You know how to make a girl feel special."

"I'm a man, what do you expect?" He made a show of taking the condom off and throwing it into the garbage. I rolled my eyes at that. Again, what was the point?

Edward saw me roll my eyes, so he continued. "Besides, I didn't mean it as an insult, Bella. I just mean that, you know, you've been on my mind a lot."

"I've been on your mind because of the sex, or because you knocked me up?"

"Both, of course." He smirked again.

His response caused me to punch him in the arm. "Pig!"

He rubbed the spot my fist connected with his skin as though it was tender. "Hey, come on."

"You're making me feel cheap, asshole."

"I just mean that, at first, I couldn't stop thinking about you because of how amazing you were. It's like that night was on a repeat in my mind or something. And then, when you told me that we were having a baby, everything changed."

"I must have made quite the impression, considering the fact that you didn't even remember my name when I called you three weeks ago."

"For some reason, I remembered calling you 'Isabella' that night, so when you said 'Bella,' it took my brain a few moments to catch up. You have to give me a break about that, though...I mean, I drank a lot at the wedding reception. It's a miracle I remembered anything and I remembered a few key details about you. I consider myself pretty lucky."

"Again, you know how to make me feel so special." I rolled out of bed and cleaned myself up before slipping on a pair of yoga pants and a sweatshirt. "Why did you drink so much the night I met you? I know why I did - I was caught up in all the wedding activities, my mother was pestering me about my clock ticking, and so I decided to drink my weight in booze, but why did you drink so much?"

He scrubbed a hand through his hair before slipping his pants back on. "I had a conversation with my uncle Carlisle earlier that day, and it really bothered me. I couldn't help but get drunk at the reception." He finished buttoning up his pants and sat on the bed next to me.

"What was the conversation about?" I prodded.

"He told me that he couldn't believe that Jasper was getting married before me."

I narrowed my eyes. "So what? What did it matter that Jasper was getting married before you?"

"I'm fucking thirty-two, Bella. I've never really had a serious relationship or anything like that, and the guy who seemed like he would never get married, regardless of how long he had been with Alice, just tied the knot. It was a hard pill to swallow without the help of brandy, if you know what I mean."

"I'm twenty-eight, single, and knocked up. Are we just making broad generalizations here, or what? Because if so, thanks for causing me take a look at what's going on here and making me depressed."

Edward looked at me for a moment. Not in the "I'm undressing you with my eyes" kind of look, but the kind of look where it felt like he was trying to read my mind.

It was uncomfortable.

"Why is a beautiful woman like you still single, Bella?"

I shrugged. "I'm crass and swear like a sailor; not exactly 'take me home to mommy' material, if you catch my drift. Why is a handsome man like yourself still single, Edward?"

"I was a vagina doctor. That's something most women won't touch with a ten-foot pole."

We both smiled. I moved across the bed and tucked myself under his arm.

"Good thing you aren't going to be a vagina doctor anymore. I don't have any ten-foot poles around here."

"That would have sucked, wouldn't it? Not having any ten-foot poles and all."

"I guess." I winked. I fucking winked. What was it with this guy? He was turning me into a crazy person.

"So, since we are on the topic of vagina doctors, I was wondering when your next OBGYN appointment was. I assume that it's in a month, but I know that every doctor works differently, so I didn't want to assume..."

"Yeah, it's in a month."

He allowed himself a self-satisfying smirk. "Good. I'll be there then."

What the? "Whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you mean 'you'll be there'?"

He frowned. "I think it's pretty obvious, Bella. I'll fly back here so I can go to your appointment with you. Your doctor might want to do another ultrasound, and if that's the case, I want to be there for that."

The idea of Edward watching me get poked and prodded in the doctor's office made me want to puke. "No."

"Yes."

I scowled. "Why would you want to fly here for that?"

"It's important. I want to be here for it."

"No."

"Please?"

Goddamn, he was cute when he begged. He grabbed my chin and tilted it up. "Please?" he begged, placing a kiss on my lips. "Please, can I please come to your doctor's appointment?"

Kissing made everything feel intimate. Intimacy, quite frankly, scared me, but I felt my resolve cracking. "Why does it mean so much to you? It's not like we are gonna find out the gender of the baby or anything at this appointment."

Edward grinned. "I know that, Bella. I know a thing or two about the stages of pregnancy, and I know that twelve weeks is way too early to be able to see if it's a boy or a girl."

Boo. It wasn't fair that he knew all of these things when I barely had a handle on them myself and I was the one with the baby growing inside of me.

"Gah! You vagina doctors scare me."

He chuckled. "Noted. Though, I'm not sure why I scare you..."

"You know more about my vajayjay and my baby than I do. That's frightening."

He laughed. "That's not a reason to be scared of me, Bella."

I quirked an eyebrow at him. "Oh yeah? Is there any other reason I should be wary of you then?"

"I bite." He joked, flipping me onto my back.

"Really?" I giggled. "Well, it's a good thing I like to be bitten, then."

XXX

I woke up bleary eyed at 4 am the next day and started my morning sickness ritual.

Eat crackers. Puke. Eat peppermint. Puke. Eat peanut butter. Puke. Lay on the floor for an hour and a half. Shower.

Fun, right?

"Bella, are you in there?"

Shit! I had totally forgotten that Edward spent the night before. He had fallen asleep in my bed after our fuck-and-talk session, and I didn't have the strength nor the motivation to move him or wake him up.

"Uh, yeah?" What I meant to say was _Yes__, __I __am __still __in __my __house__. __What __the __hell __are __you __still __doing __here__?_

"Can I come in?"

"Are you serious? Why in the world would you want to come in here? I just showered, and I'm...wet."

It sounded like he choked on the spit in his mouth. He cleared his throat. "Because you were sick."

"How do you know that?"

"You weren't quiet, and this is an en suite bathroom."

Ewwww. Nothing sexier than my "calling for dinosaurs" sounds.

"Yeah, well, you weren't supposed to be here to hear that."

"Well, I was, so-"

I threw my robe on and opened the door. "So what?"

"I wanted to see if there was anything that you needed."

His comment set in. My heart stuttered, which caused me to wrap my arms around myself. What the fuck was that? My heart had never done a double-take before.

I came to the conclusion that pregnancy was messing with my head.

"I'm fine."

He looked at me like he didn't believe me. "You sure?"

No. "Yes. I've been going through this for the past three weeks, Edward. I'm no stranger to morning sickness."

I didn't wait for a response from him as I walked past him, intent on getting dressed.

He was still silent when I emerged from my walk in closet, fully clothed. I didn't like this side of Edward - the side that was shy, weird, and awkward.

So I punched him in the arm.

"Stop being weird," I told him. "You're making me uncomfortable."

He ran a hand through his sleep-matted hair. "I'm sorry, this is just...all so new to me."

"What, and you don't think it's new to me? At least your body's staying the same through all of this. I'm getting fatter."

He let out a low chuckle. "You know that isn't true, Bella. Though, that being said, you have quite the way with words, Bella."

"Don't I?" My face turned serious as I started fiddling with the hem on my shirt. "Listen, this doesn't have to be weird for you. You don't have any obligation to stick around. There's the door - we can pretend that none of this happened, and that you decided that you didn't want anything to do with this."

"Don't be foolish, Bella." He took a step towards me. "I don't know what it is about this, but there is no way in hell that I could walk away from you, or-uhm-our child."

This felt oddly romantic, and that scared me. I took a step back from him as I tried to clear my head.

A charged moment passed through us before I took another step back.

What the hell was going on with me? Why did I want to lay this man down and fuck him and pet him and call him beautiful and have multiple babies with him? And if all that was true, and I really did want to do all those things with Edward, why was I taking steps away from him?

Because I was a pregnant idiot, obviously. Good lord, I fucking hated hormones.

"So-" I changed the subject. "-I'll see you in a month then?"

Edward looked surprised at the subject change before straightening up and taking a step farther away from me.

What a doofus. Now we were uncomfortably far away from each other. What the hell was he thinking?

"Yeah, sure. I'll actually be back in about three weeks or so, but I guess I can see you in a month."

That was news to me. "Oh, you'll be back in three weeks?"

"Yeah. Hospital stuff." He seemed cold, closed off now. It was weird. What the hell was up with his mood swings? I had a reason for mine, what was his excuse?

"Oh, okay." I shrugged. "Just...call me when you want to see me again, I guess?"

God, that sounded pathetic, didn't it? It totally did.

"Yeah, sure."

Awkward. Awkward. Awkward.

"Okay, uhm, did you want me to walk you out then?"

Awkward. Awkward. Awkward.

"No, that's fine, I can see myself out." He checked around the room to make sure that he had everything that he came with.

"Oh, okay." I was making sure that he didn't leave anything either. "So, uh, thanks for last night?"

_Still __awkward__._

"You're welcome. Thanks for letting me stay, Bella."

"You're welcome."

No more words were exchanged between us, and I watched in silence as he left my house and walked down the path to his rental car.

What the hell had just happened? I was at a loss - we had a good lunch, great dinner, fantastic sex, and a bizarre morning. Maybe we shouldn't have anymore sleepovers?

I had no idea what changed to make things so weird between us. Or, more accurately, what happened to make things so weird for me.

"This is going to be a weird, bumpy ride, little one," I said, patting my stomach.

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******E/N: So, what did you guys think? Reviews will get teasers, which I will hopefully be able to get out ASAP, but I have no way of knowing when exactly I'll be at a computer again. Hopefully the roads to my place of work will be open again soon, and I'll be able to work on sending out replies and what not.**

**Thank you again to all of you who are reading, reviewing, alerting, favoriting, and, in two cases, blogging about At Last. You guys are the best! And the reason to make sure to update a story, even when all I wanna do is snuggle under the covers and dwell on the flood damage done to my hometown (I'm trying to stay upbeat here, people! There's only so much devastation I can take, ya know?).**

**And before I forget, I don't own Twilight (blah blah fucking blah), I DID see the new Breaking Dawn trailer (gotta have my priorities, yeah?), Little Fish, Big Fish is SUPER close to being done, and STDs are still bad. Cover all my bases? I hope so!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Welcome to chapter six! I wouldn't have gotten this far if it weren't for Detochkina, so another huge THANK YOU to that wonderful woman (for beta-ing, holding my hand, and slapping me around when I needed to be slapped around). Ubergeekness, thank you for turning my garbage into something that's a lot more readable. And to MizzezPattinson … you are my whoring Canadian hero.**

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**Chapter Six - Pregnancy Wouldn't Be So Bad, If It Wasn't For The Morning Sickness, Hormones, Weight Gain, Sleeping Problems, Needing To Pee 100000 Times A Night, Pre-Natal Pill Constipation...Oh Who Am I Kidding? This Stinks.**

"Nah, being pregnant hasn't affected my writing." I spoke confidently to my editor, switching my phone to my other hand and bending over the toilet as I prepared to puke.

"Are you sure you'll be able to meet your deadline with no issues?" Tanya James, my big shot editor, pressed the issue.

"I'm positive." I pressed the 'mute' button on my phone, spilling my breakfast into the toilet.

As I puked into the toilet, I missed a good portion of what Tanya said to me. Once I was sure I wasn't going to get puke on the phone, I placed it back up to my ear just in time to hear her yelling for me.

"Hello? Bella, are you there still? Shit. Must have lost the connection. If you can hear me, I'll call you back soon."

_Click._

I slumped onto the floor and placed my hand on my tummy, which was starting to pudge out. I wasn't showing yet, but at fifteen weeks, I was seriously starting to look fat.

I swear I was fatter than a cow. Alice told me that I was an idiot, but I held my position- I looked much worse than I did last month, as if I was carrying a food baby and a beer baby all rolled into one big big ass stomach.

"Baby, you gotta give up on this morning sickness stuff, mmmkay? You are turning your mom into a very hard person to be around, and we're well into the second trimester. This is supposed to be my 'fun' trimester. Let's work on making it fun, alright?"

I slowly crawled from the toilet over to the vanity base and carefully pulled myself up before looking in the mirror. I did _not _like what I saw.

I was the exact opposite of crazy-sexy at that moment. My hair was matted down, probably because I could only sleep on my left side now. It made for some really interesting hair-dos some mornings. I was dressed in some old gym clothes, and my makeup from the day before was still on my face because I had fallen asleep on the couch and didn't wash it off before I passed out.

"If I hadn't just puked my guts out, maybe I'd look ... nah, I'd still look like I got run over by a manure truck," I muttered, swiping a finger under my eye to remove smudged mascara that had pooled there.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Since I wasn't expecting anyone, I assumed it was Alice, because she had been making it a habit as of late to randomly stop by. She claimed that it was because she wanted to make sure that I hadn't choked on my own puke during the wee hours of the morning, but I was pretty sure that she wanted some of my pregnancy hormones to rub off on her. _Baby-crazy fool_.

"Alice." I opened the door after I looked in the peephole to confirm that it was, indeed, one of my best friends. My voice dipped sarcastically. "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes."

"Sore eyes?" She brushed past me. "That isn't the only thing that looks sore. Bella, you look like shit."

"Well thank you." I did an awkward, pregnant little curtsy. "Just the look I was aiming for."

"Why don't you jump in the shower real quick?"

"Why?" I lifted a corner of my shirt to my nose and sniffed it. It wasn't ... bad.

"Because … I was thinking that you and I go out and have lunch with Jasper."

"Why would we do that? Why not just … eat here? We could order in! Oh, I like the way that sounds much, _much _better."

Alice rolled her eyes. "I thought that it would be a good idea for you to get out every once and a while."

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. "You're acting like I'm avoiding a social life for no reason whatsoever. I mean, it's not like I can go to a club, drink to my hearts content, and grind up against a hot man before taking him home and schmexing him all night long. I'm pregnant, crazy woman! Not only does it not feel too good to dance due to my protruding fat belly, but it also means that this-" I motioned to my private parts. "-Is off limits until then."

"Bella … "

"Don't even start with me, Alice. I'm having a baby, which means that my life is changing completely. I don't know if 'going out' will be in my cards for a very long time."

"That's not what I'm saying … "

"Then what are you saying?"

"If you would stop interrupting me, you would know! Jesus, I swear all you think about is sex." Alice huffed.

She took a few moments and composed herself. "All I was asking was for you to make some effort to get out of the house. You know, to enjoy your alone time before the baby comes? I don't like seeing you turning into a hermit before you even have a reason to stay home on a Friday night."

I tried to run my hand through my hair but got it tangled in my messy curls. "I understand that. It's just … I haven't had the energy to go out."

"So go and shower. I'll text Jasper and have him meet us someplace for lunch. How does that sound?"

I sighed. "I guess that sounds good. At least that way I have an actual excuse to ignore my editor when she calls me again."

"Exactly! Oh, I'm so glad we are going out." Alice clapped her hands.

How this woman could get so excited over something as simple as going out to lunch, I'd never know.

XXX

I showered, got dressed, and because my friend was a pushy, pushy woman, trotted out the door less than an hour after Alice had arrived at my house.

"You look great, honey." She ushered me into her passenger side seat.

"Thanks mom." I joked while I pulled my seat belt across my chest and snapped it into place.

"You are such a sass." She pulled her car out of my driveway and headed toward the restaurant where we were meeting Jasper.

"So, anything new since the last time I talked to you?"

"Not really." I pulled some lint off my shirt before adjusting it. _Fuck, this shirt, which used to fit my bewbies perfectly, is making them stick out with a massive porn star cleavage affect._

"Have you talked to your parents about the baby yet?"

Shit. I had a feeling she would ask about that, and it was still a touchy subject for me. "No. I don't-I don't know what to say to them, Alice. My mom-I'm pretty sure she'll be over the moon. But my dad...Charlie will shit his pants. He will be so disappointed in me, you know? I never thought that I would have a baby out of wedlock. Especially not with someone who I barely even know."

Regardless of the fact the baby had changed my life for the better because it gave my aimless existence a _purpose_, I was sure my dad would have a heart attack.

"Speaking of baby daddies ... Have you talked to Edward lately?"

I turned and gave her _the eye. _She just had to bring up the two subjects that had been bothering me the most, didn't she?

Because Alice was driving and appropriately focused on the road, she didn't notice me glaring at her; I pursed my lips before talking.

"No, I haven't. Not since he came up for my twelve week appointment. Things were so weird then that I don't know if I will hear from him until my twenty week appointment, when we find out the gender of the baby."

Edward had come to Seattle a month ago, just as he had planned. Every day he was in town, he called me. Every day that he called me, I ignored his call. Then he started showing up at my house. _Grr._

I knew it was a bitchy move to ignore the father of my unborn child, especially when he flew God knows how many miles to make it to my doctor appointment, but I knew I just couldn't see him. If I saw him, I would remember how amazingly sweet he was, how fucktastic he was in bed, and how my life was already complicated enough with me being pregnant with his baby without the addition of my budding crush on him in the mix.

I was admittedly a pathetic, pathetic woman, but I knew I needed to protect my vagina from the vagina doctor before I fell in _-gasp- like_with the guy.

Needless to say, he missed my doctors appointment, all because I was too much of a bitch to let him know when it was. I didn't tell anyone when it was, really, because I was afraid of Edward somehow finding out and showing up at the appointment.

It was bad enough that he knew where I lived and happened to show up unannounced every day he was in town. Unfortunately for his efforts, I was expecting something like that to happen, so every time I went up to the door, I checked the peephole first.

Every day he stopped over and I peered at him through the small hole in my door, my mouth watered. He was so … unnervingly attractive. It took everything in me to not open the door for him, but I held my stance. I couldn't let myself get too attached to someone who … who … would be prettier than I was in a couple of months.

_Yeah, that's what's keeping me from being around him._

That was what I had kept telling myself. It was shaky reasoning and I knew it, but I just wasn't willing to budge for fear of the unknown.

On what I assumed was Edward's last day in Seattle, he stopped at my house once more. When I didn't answer the door, I saw him bend down and leave a single white calla lily on my doorstep with a note attached to it.

I couldn't believe that he left a freaking flower on my doorstep! He had to have known that I was home, there's no way he would leave something living, therefore requiring attention, outside my door if he wasn't sure that I'd get it in perfect condition.

I waited until I was one hundred percent sure that he was gone and opened my door to grab the flower. I picked it up and noticed that the attached note was written in the most beautiful "manwriting" I had ever seen.

_The guy was a doctor and still managed to have perfect handwriting? That's bull shit._

I held the note with shaky hands and read it.

_Bella,_  
_I wish I could have seen you while I was here. It was one of the things I was looking forward to the most since I was last in Seattle._  
_It would have meant a lot to me to be able to go to your appointment, but I understand that you didn't want me to be there._  
_I hope all is well with our baby._  
_Edward_

The note made me feel incredibly guilty, to say the least. I grabbed my cell phone out of my sweatshirt pocket and sent him a quick text.

_E-_  
_Just got your note.  
Baby is fine.  
See you at the 20-week appointment._  
_B_

He didn't reply to my text. Nothing. No "see you then," no "great." Nothing at all. It was as if he was serving me some of my own medicine, and damn, it burned as I swallowed it down.

"Well, I'm sure you'll hear something from him sooner than later." Alice brought me out of my thoughts.

I made a non-committal "mmmmhrmm" sound, because I wasn't quite sure if I would hear from Edward any time soon. Maybe not ever again.

Who knew? Maybe I scared him away for good.

That thought made my palms sweat. I wasn't ready to never see him again … was I?

I mean, I could raise a child on my own. I was financially stable, lived in a good four bedroom, three bathroom house in a terrific community, and worked a job with flexible hours. My child would want for nothing.

_Except maybe a dad._

Alice pulled into the restaurant parking lot and put her car into park. "We're here!" Her enthusiasm snapped me back to the present again.

I reluctantly followed Alice into the restaurant. She practically sprinted to Jasper once she spotted him, and seemed unnaturally excited to sit down in a booth next to her husband.

I was curious about her reaction to seeing Jasper until I realized that I was going to be sitting next to someone across from Alice. My breath hitched when I realized that person was Edward. He turned looked at me and … smiled.

_He's smiling at me? I thought for sure he'd be mad that I ignored him, and here he is … _smiling _at me?_

"Thanks for bringing her to me, Alice," he said with a cocky smirk.

"Oh crap," I said, fumbling for words. "I … uh … I didn't know you were coming back to Seattle so soon."

"I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you to hide from me." He motioned for me to sit down next to him.

"I'd rather stand."

"Quit being stubborn, Bella. No one would rather stand while eating lunch. Sit down. You know I won't bite you."

"You may not bite me, but you are a freaky vagina doctor, so God knows what you have up your sleeve for me." I was determined to bicker back.

"_Was_ a gynecologist, Bella. _Was."_

"What does that even mean?"

"It means that I'm done with my business in New York, and as of yesterday, am officially a Seattle resident. Surprise, neighbor!"

"Neighbor?" I spit it out. "What? What are you talking about?"

He took a sip of the drink that was sitting in front of him. "It means that while I spent a lot of time hanging around outside of your house a month ago, I noticed a home for sale a few doors down from yours. I closed on it yesterday, and the moving trucks are coming in tomorrow."

I stared at him, unblinking. "You aren't kidding, are you?"

"Nope."

_What the heck was I going to do with Edward living just down the street from me? _Somehow, I knew at that moment that everything was going to change, and Edward was going to become a permanent fixture in my life before the baby even came.

"Well … shit."

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**E/N: I hope that by now you guys know that this story is a silly one with minimal angst … right? I don't know if I even have to say this, but I'm gonna: this story has a HEA. I mean, how could it not? I wouldn't be doing these characters justice if I didn't give them the HEA that they deserve.**

**That doesn't mean that we are going to take the easiest path to the HEA though. Heh. Hold on, guys! The next few chapters are fun.**

**As always, reviewers get teasers. Just make sure that I can send you a DM! It makes me sad when I can't reply to a review. Seriously! Each review means so much to me, and I want to be able to thank you guys personally for leaving me one.**

**Thank you again to you who are still reading, reviewing, favoriting, alerting, and tweeting about the story (I'm on twitter too! MichelleMMarie). You all make me excited to post a new chapter every week!**

**And as my last-minute-disclaimer, I still don't own anything Twilight. If I did, I'd make Rosalie a nicer bitch (you can be a bitch without being a BITCH. Good god, Rosalie. Take some fucking pointers).**

**Until next Wednesday, ya'll!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Welcome to chapter seven of the silly story I call "At Last". Big thanks, as usual, to my beta goddess Ubergeekness. Huge, Canadian-close hugs to MizzezPattinson for pre-reading and being the reason that half you all are reading this story. And bewbie grabs (AH! Yeah, I'm grabbing your bewbs, BB) to Detochkina for reading, re-reading, and perfecting this chapter (to the best of her ablility. I mean, it's still my writing! You can only polish a turd so much! Heh heh …).**

**Sorry that this is a day late. The American holiday yesterday kept me crazy busy and away from a computer all day long. But guess what? It's here now! I hope you enjoy, and I'll see ya at the bottom!**

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**Chapter Seven - When Did My Life Turn Into A Soap Opera? I Need A Drink. What's That? I Can't Have a Drink Because I'm Pregnant? Well, That Fucking Sucks.**

"Bella, you have to forgive Alice some time," Rosalie said.

"No, no, no, Rosalie. You aren't allowed to take her side in this. You are _my _friend. I'm the one you tried to make out with when you were drunk and you and Royce were fighting, not Alice. _I'm _the one who came over and helped you clean your house when your basement flooded, not Alice. _I'm _the one you consider family, Rose! Me! _I'm _the one who comes over to your house with a pint of ice cream and pretzels when you've had a bad day … _not Alice!_"

"Stop trying to pit us against each other. Alice is your friend, too, Bella -"

"Shut it. She went behind my back and plotted with Edward. Not cool, Rosalie. _Not cool_. She's supposed to be on my side, not Edward's!"

"You are so fucking dramatic! I know it's the hormones, but you've gotta calm down, Bella."

"_Calm down?_Don't tell me to calm down! I'll do what I want - this is my house!" I screamed, stamping my foot on the ground like a petulant child.

Okay, so maybe I needed to calm down a little. I was twenty-eight, not thirteen, and I was maybe-kinda-sorta blowing this all out of proportion.

Maybe. Sorta-kinda.

But whatever. My best friend went behind my back and plotted against me with a man I'd been avoiding for the last four weeks. Alice was on my poop list, and I didn't see her getting off it anytime soon.

"Babe, this isn't good for you. Or for the baby."

I took slow, calming breaths. Rosalie was right, having this kind of anger wasn't good for me or the baby. I could feel my blood pressure rise every time I even thought of Alice. Or Edward, for that matter.

_Edward. _

_God, that man is so infuriating. Infuriating and sexy … he will be the death of me._

I took another calming breath.

_Blood pressure, Bella. Got to keep the blood pressure down._

_Think of kitties. Fluffy, furry kitties. Kitties with sharp claws and long hair that gets on your clothes and never comes out, not to mention the fact that so many people are allergic to kitties..._

_Blood pressure … rising … Shit. Thinking of kitties isn't working._

_Okay, so … puppies, think of puppies._

_Puppies, with their undying attention and affection and soft puppy fur. And ticks and fleas and other bugs that like to burrow themselves into said soft puppy fur, and potty training the puppy and subsequent potty training fail, and … and …_

"Fuck." I ran my right hand through my hair.

"What's wrong?" Rose asked, her face softening after seeing me upset.

"I'm not calming down here. My blood pressure had to be through the roof." I sighed. "I think I need to resolve this shit. I need to talk to Edward."

"Finally!" Rose exclaimed. "You've said something that made sense!"

XXX

It wasn't hard to figure out which house it was that Edward moved into. It was the only one on my street with a SOLD sign, and the only one with a sexy man outside, moving boxes ...

… shirtless .

_Gahhhh._I was drooling.

I walked over to Edward, who was concentrating so hard on the boxes in front of him that he didn't even notice me approaching him. After watching him work for a couple of minutes, it became apparent that he wasn't going to see me without me making my presence known. I cleared my throat, hoping that would be enough to garner his attention. Nothing. I cleared my throat a little louder. Still nothing.

"Uhm, Edward?"

"Holy shit," he cried, startled. He accidentally dropped the box he was holding and it spilled to the ground, emptying its contents across the pavement.

I bent down slowly and helped him pick up some of the items that had scattered on the blacktop. It wasn't easy to bend over, having my baby bump in the way, but I still wanted to help out. I picked up magazines - some _Sports Illustrated_, some medical journal crap, and some … porn.

"Porn? Is this a joke? This has to be a joke." I dropped the magazines I had in my hands and waved the nudie magazine around.

Edward also dropped the magazines that he was holding and covered his face in his hands. Sensing his embarrassment, I flipped through the mag I was holding.

"Ewwww, Edward. You like this kind of stuff? This girl's vagina looks plastic."

He attempted to grab the magazine away from me, but I moved out of his grasp. "Bella, please give that back to me."

"Why?" I asked, flipping through the magazine a little more until I found a cartoon. "Hey, this one is kind of funny."

"Please, Bella? Can I please have my Playboy back?"

"Why?" I questioned, enjoying the fact that he was the vulnerable one for once. "Do you need it right now?"

"Don't be crass." He swiped at my hand again.

"No, seriously. Why do you have porn? You don't seem like a man who'd be lacking in the sexual department." I successfully avoided his hands before he switched tactics and rushed at me with both arms open, wrapping me into a light bear hug. My belly wouldn't allow for much more than that.

"It's not that I'm lacking-" He grabbed the magazine from me and tucked it in the front of his pants. I was sure it brushed against his fuckawesome penis.

I was drooling again. _Dammit. _The fact that he had to draw attention to his privates made me want to slap him. Talking about porn soon transitioned into thinking about making a porn with Edward...

… shit.

I couldn't help myself. The baby hormones were driving me absolutely crazy horny, so I wasted no time in throwing myself at him. Of course.

We kissed, grinded, and avoided my baby bump as we made our own foreplay porn in his driveway.

Edward groaned, which spurred me on a little more. His hands were moving around my body, driving me nuts and making me wet. When I realized that not only were we providing a free show for his neighbors, but _my _neighbors as well, I pushed myself away from him.

"Bella … "

"Why did you move here, Edward?"

"I told you that I was going to start working with my uncle -"

"No, you idiot, I know why you moved to Seattle. Why did you choose to move into my development? Why here?"

"It's … nice."

"Bullshit. There are many nice places for sale out there, Edward. Why _here_?"

I was pushing his buttons, and I knew it. But I didn't care. I wanted to keep pushing his buttons. I wanted to get a legit answer from him, not some crap answer that he thought would placate me. I wanted the truth.

He scrubbed a hand over his face. "Because I wanted to be close to you, okay?"

"Why? You don't even know me." I narrowed my eyes at him.

He glared at me like I'd sprouted a second head. He continued, this time with a defeated tone.

"You are carrying my baby, Bella. Is that not reason enough?"

I wasn't sure why that hurt me so much, but that comment was like a punch to the heart and a wet bucket of water poured over my head.

"You want to be close to the baby when it's born." I stepped back from Edward.

_It has nothing to do with you, Bella. He doesn't want to stay close to you because you are you, he wants to be close to his baby. It makes perfect sense. I mean, you've only gone on like, what? Two dates? If they could even be called dates._

_Which they couldn't, because they weren't dates. They were "lets get to know each other before we have something that shares our genes" outings._

"Yeah?" He looked so helpless, so scared. His demeanor was starting to make me uneasy.

"Why'd you say it like that? Like you weren't sure of yourself?"

"Because I'm _not_sure of myself. I got someone pregnant from a one night stand, Bella. This wasn't part of the plan."

I started getting defensive. "Yeah, well, screw you! Your plan sucked anyway! I mean, _God, _you were a vagina doctor! What kind of plan involves that as your job? You didn't have anything of value before you came here."

Uh oh. That comment … pissed him off. I could practically see the steam coming from his ears.

He stepped closer to me, closing the gap I had put between us. "You don't think I know that my plan sucked? I chose a job that so many people mocked me for. I'm over thirty and alone. I just moved across the country when I've never been away from my home state my entire life … how fucking depressing is that? But right before that monumental move? I made a beautiful mistake. One that's changed my life even more than deciding to work for my uncle has. Christ, Bella, this is the best thing that has ever happened to me!"

Holy shit. "You mean that? You don't have to lie to me."

"Of course I mean that, Bella. I wouldn't have parked myself outside of your house and practically stalked you if I didn't feel strongly about this."

Butterflies erupted in my stomach as I realized how real his words really were.

"I feel that way, too."

Oh crap. I totally said that out loud. Why did I say that out loud? What the hell was my problem? It didn't matter that it was the truth that I had been telling myself for weeks or that the baby had given me a purpose at last; I still shouldn't have voiced it.

"You do?"

_Shit. Here goes nothing._ "Yeah. I mean, pregnancy is a bitch. I'm crabby all the time, I feel like I'm fat as a whale, I'm always hungry, and I'm so horny that I want to jump you _all the damned time_. But the fact that I have something so amazing growing inside me … it's overwhelming."

"You mean that?" He turned my words on me.

"Yeah -" I suddenly realized I had no idea which part of what I said had caught his interest most. "-which part?"

He smiled. "That you want to jump me right now?"

"Oh, you asshole! Leave it to you to focus only on that part." I punched his arm and turned to walk away. Edward tried to grab me, but I maneuvered my way around him and headed toward my house.

"Hey, Bella, I wasn't trying to insult you."

"Yeah, right!" I continued to walk back home.

"I'm coming over to your house as soon as I finish unpacking my porn!"

"Good luck with that! I'm going home and locking my doors right now!"

"Alice gave me a spare key!"

I stopped in my tracks. "I swear, I will cut that bitch … "

"I'm kidding. But it's not above me to climb the tree in the back to get up to your window!"

I giggled to myself. "I'd like to see that!"

XXX

As soon as I got home, I called up Alice and apologized to her for being a crazy psycho to her once I realized that she was in cahoots with Edward to get me to stop ignoring him.

I didn't stay at the lunch that Alice and Edward had planned for long - as soon as I realized what was going on and I started feeling cornered, I left. I ran away from Edward and my scheming best friend.

I informed her that while I was not okay with her going behind my back with something like that, I fully understood that she felt it was important that I stop acting like a high schooler and start acting like a responsible adult. Besides, if it were the other way around, and Edward was the one carrying our baby and he was the one ignoring me, I would flip my shit... and probably resort to the things that he resorted to.

Blah, blah, blah. I still hated admitting that I was wrong.

The doorbell rang, and since I had already seen Rose that day and I had just gotten off the phone with Alice, I figured it was Edward.

I was right.

"Hey." He barged past me and into my foyer. "I brought some pizza and a movie. Hope that you didn't have a hot date planned for tonight or anything, because I am not leaving your house until the pizza is eaten and the movie is over."

"Ah, yes. You totally have to worry about the single pregnant woman going on tons of dates. Because people want to date a woman who is gonna pop out a baby in about six months, you know? Especially one as attractive as me." I did a little dance in place before stopping and turning towards Edward.

He studied my face. "I can't tell if you are joking, or-"

"Yes, you jackass." I took the pizza from his hands. "I'm poking fun at myself. I had no plans tonight because I'm now a social pariah. My single friends have been avoiding me like the plague, because they think that pregnancy is contagious or something. And dates? Ha! Those won't be happening for, what, five years?"

"I doubt that, Bella."

"Oh, really?" I raised an eyebrow, walking to my kitchen with the pizza in my hand. "By the way, why aren't you out enjoying this glorious Saturday? You aren't the one who's pregnant."

"Yeah, I am."

"Shut up, you know what I meant. You should go out and enjoy yourself; get acquainted with the nightlife in Seattle. It's different than that of New York, you know."

He started cracking his fingers. Because that was a gross habit, I wanted to smack him and scream, "Leave those beautiful fingers alone!" But I couldn't. Instead, I glared at him, willing him to stop.

He didn't. He just kept cracking away like the idiot he was.

"So, you're saying that you would rather have me leave than spend the night with me? You'd rather have me go out on the dates that you won't go on?"

"Yeah?" I lied. I couldn't put my finger on it, but the idea of him going on dates made my stomach twist.

He reached over to the pizza box and pulled a slice out. "I'd rather have a calming night in. The nightlife can wait for another time, one when I'm not busy unpacking all day long. Besides, I call bullshit," he said through a mouthful of pizza.

"What? Why?" Was I that transparent? I thought that my poker face was better than that.

"Because … just … because."

"Ah, yes. The 'because' argument. Very solid, Mr. Cullen."

"That's not the only thing that's solid," he joked, waggling his eyebrows.

_Men._ Wait, scratch that. _ Boys._

"Aaaand there's the jackass that I know." I grabbed a plate out of my cupboard, pulled out a few slices of pizza, and walked to the living room with the DVD Edward brought over to my house in my hand.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Seriously? You brought over _Knocked Up_? That's the movie you want us to watch tonight?"

He walked into my living room with his own plate in hand and grinned in response. "Yeah. Why? Anything wrong with that?"

I smiled again and shook my head. "You are a piece of work, you know that, right?"

"Why, thank you."

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**E/N: What did you think? I love hearing your opinion, because I want to make sure that the story is progressing as it should. Know what I mean?**

**For those of you who read my other story, "Little Fish, Big Fish," I think you'll be happy to know that the last chapter should post either today or tomorrow (depending how busy I am). For those of you who **_**haven't **_**read that story … what's stopping you? It's almost completed … *wink wink*!**

**Reviews get my eternal praise and a teaser from the next chapter. Help me get this story to one hundred reviews before it's completed (eighteen chapters, plus an epi). Pleeeeease? I'm not begging … I'm just … asking nicely. And stuff.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Oh my goodness, you guys! I've almost made it to 100 reviews! I'm so touched that almost 100 times, someone has decided to take time out of their life to let me know what they think of the story. I'm so lucky to have all of you readers!**

**As usual, a huge thank you to Ubergeekness for beta-ing my interpretation of English (it's my first language, I SWEAR!), MizzezPattinson for pimping this story out as if she were getting paid with hockey tickets to do so (sorry, poor poke at Canadians. ) ), and Detochkina for ... just ... being there. Oh, and beta-ing/reading/re-reading this story. That's kind of a big deal, right? RIGHT.**

**Today's the day! We get to find out if they are having a boy or a girl! Which one are you rooting for?  
**

* * *

**Chapter Eight - If I Decided To Think "Skinny Thoughts", Do You Think That I'd Be Able To Fit In My Jeans Again? 'Cause I Really Miss Them.**

"Bella, are you okay up there? You've been locked in your room for the last half hour, and I'm starting to get worried. I mean, we missed our dinner reservation, which is fine, but come on! It's dinner! You have to be getting hungry if I'm getting hungry."

"I'm ... I'm fine! Just give me a minute, okay?" I yelled back to Edward before I turned back to my mirror and sighed in resignation.

_I'm a fucking whale._

I poked at my stomach and frowned. Why did I have to look so terrible this early in my pregnancy? I was only at nineteen weeks and I looked like I was ready to pop any day now.

Okay, so that wasn't true. Though honestly, my body image was the worst it had ever been. I'd never even been chubby, and now that I had put on some extra baby weight, I felt like I was ginormous.

_Ginormous. _

None of my clothes fit, and I felt completely ugly in the items that did. My pregnancy wasn't even halfway done yet, and I already felt like crawling out of my skin.

_Ugggggh._

I heard footsteps right outside my room before a gentle knock rapped on my bedroom door.

"Bella?" Edward called out.

"Why can't you just wait?" I responded angrily. "I'm just … I'm trying to get ready, and you keep bothering me and now I don't even want to go!"

Obviously, Edward interrupting me twice in half an hour had nothing to do with the fact that I wasn't ready, but he didn't need to know that. I felt ugly, and I wasn't in the mood to show my face in public when I felt hideous.

Because I needed to put on clothes, I quickly threw one of my old Washington University sweatshirts on over a pair of black yoga pants before opening my bedroom door and coming face to face with Edward.

"What's wrong?" he asked, taking in my angry demeanor.

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong. I'm just not going out to dinner. I mean, reservations? Why the fuck did you make reservations for dinner? We should just order in. Or you could go use the reservations with someone who isn't a big, fat, ugly cow. Someone who is as good looking as you, and not someone who is hideous like I am. Yeah, that sounds good."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Edward reached out and put his hands on my arms. "What are you even talking about?"

I motioned my hand around my body. "I'm ugly and I'm not in the mood for other people to look at me and stare because I'm grotesque, okay?"

His grip on my arms tightened. "Bella, you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my entire life."

I glared at him. "You have to say that because I'm carrying your child."

He smiled at me. "I _should_say that because you're carrying my child, but I don't have to say it. Regardless of that, Bella, you are gorgeous. Truly gorgeous."

"I'm fat."

"You're pregnant."

"It's more than that. I can't even stand to look at myself in the mirror."

"Why? How can you not see how amazing you look? Pregnancy suits you, Bella. You are positively glowing."

"God, you are so cliche, it hurts."

"I can't help if the truth is cliche."

I stopped self-loathing for one second and looked Edward in the eyes. "Why do you put up with me?"

"Because I can't imagine wanting to be anywhere else," he said, not skipping a beat.

He was _such_a smooth talker.

"But why? I mean, you don't have to butter me up anymore, you know you're going to be a part of your child's life no matter what."

"Who says that this has anything to do with our unborn child?"

My brow furrowed. "What … what are you talking about?"

"Never mind," he said, quickly backtreading.

"No, what were you saying?"

He shrugged his shoulders, the tips of his ears turning pink in what I could only assume was embarrassment. "I was saying that you are being too hard on yourself. And you need to stop thinking that I'm some kind of idiot who only hangs out with you because I need to hang out with you. I want to spend time with you."

"Right. I mean, we are having a kid together, may as well tolerate each other. I don't want us tearing each other apart at her first birthday."

He smiled and shook his head. "Our baby isn't a 'she,' it's a 'he.'"

"We'll see in just a few days, Edward. And then you will know once and for all that I am always right and you won't ever want to question me ever again."

"Please let me take you out to dinner, Bella."

His sudden change of subject back to having dinner together threw me for a loop. "I thought I told you that I wasn't in the mood to go-"

"You are beautiful just the way you are. Let's go, you can stay in your sweatshirt if you want."

I looked at him like he was crazy. Because he was crazy, of course. "But why? Even after I told you I feel ugly, and after my rant, and- and … "

"Because you are beautiful, and because I want to celebrate the fact that we are going to find out in a few days whether we are having a boy or a girl."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"And my sweatshirt and yoga pants are okay to wear out?"

"Of course."

XXX

"Edward, can you please just take me home?"

He raised his eyebrow in question before taking another bite of his pasta. "Why? What's wrong?"

I glared at the table full of bitches next to us before pushing my plate away from me. "I feel a little sick to my stomach."

The truth was, I wasn't sick to my stomach in the literal sense. I felt queasy because the women next to me were making me pissy, and I was seriously ready to cut a slut.

_Ha. That rhymed. _

We had arrived for dinner - late for our reservation, but still welcome, nonetheless, thanks to Edward dropping his uncle Carlisle's name a few times - and were seated immediately. The dining area that we were sat in was small in size but not in charm, with cozy-looking chairs, adorable table linens, and intimate-mood lighting.

There were four other tables in the immediate vicinity of our table - two tables were occupied by older couples, one sat a middle-aged couple, and the last one was invaded by six women who appeared to be out for a bachelorette party.

The women attending the bachelorette party were rude, crude, and drunk. Picking on me when Edward wasn't listening seemed to be the goal for their dinner party, and they didn't relent.

Honestly, if I had to hear that I didn't deserve to be with a man like Edward _one more time_, I was going to flip out.

Where did these women even come from? The international cunt circus? I knew that I was really underdressed, but come _on,_ why did it bother them so much that I was with a man like Edward? Obviously I wasn't really _with _him, but they didn't have to know that. What the fuck was their damage?

If I wasn't pregnant and tired and constipated, I'd be on top of my game. I just didn't know that I needed to dress to these bitches standards tonight.

One of the women took notice of the fact that I had pushed my uneaten food away from me. "Good, the cow shouldn't eat any more, anyways," said the cackling whore. Her friends joined in and laughed at my expense once again.

Edward heard that comment. His face went rigid as he turned around and eyed up the women who were laughing at me. "What the fuck did you just say about my girlfriend?"

_Shut the front door ... GIRLFRIEND?_

"Oh, uhm … " stuttered the rude bitch.

"She didn't … " mumbled one of her friends.

"That's what I thought," Edward said, eyeing both.

"Edward, don't. It's not a big deal." I flagged down the waitress and asked her for a to-go container.

"Like hell it's not a big deal."

The girls in the table next to us giggled at the fact that we were arguing. _What, are they, twelve?_

"Do you mind boxing up my meal? I'm going to go out to your car and wait. Sound okay?"

"Just let me pay for this and I'll be right out." He tossed me his keys and I caught them as I juggled my purse onto my shoulder.

"He sent you to his car 'cause he's ashamed to be seen with you any longer," one of the girls muttered snidely under her breath as I walked by her table.

_That's it. _That comment pushed me over the edge.

I stopped in my tracks before turning around and walking back to their table. I walked right up to the woman who just insulted me, and got right up to her face. "Hey! You, you worthless pair of tits! Who do you think you are, talking about a pregnant woman like that?"

She looked me up and down and took a drink from her glass. "Psssh … pregnant." This girl was sloppy drunk and was obviously having a hard time coming up with a comeback.

She shot an amused look at her friends. They didn't return it. Instead, they shook their heads, as if willing her to knock it off and stop arguing with me.

I looked over at Edward, who, because he was paying the bill, was oblivious as to what was going on. _Thank God._

I wasn't about to back down; there was only so many insults that I could take. I could poke fun at myself, call myself a whale, but I'd be damned if some random strangers who didn't know a thing about me thought that they could get away with doing that kind of stuff.

"Yeah, pregnant! If I wasn't with child, I'd totally take you outside and slap you around. So help me god..."

The girl's friends, though they weren't having a hard time poking fun at me earlier, had begun to stare at me with frightened expressions. I swear, it seemed like they were seconds away from running from the restaurant.

Before I was able to rush at the table and freak them out anymore, I felt a gentle hand grab my arm.

_Hey, I just wanted to scare them. That's all._

I turned around to see who I could only guess was the restaurant's manager holding my arm.

"Ma'am, I'm going to ask you just once. Please leave our establishment before you cause any more of a scene."

"But … "

"I know that they verbally attacked you, but I'm asking you to please stop disrupting our guests and exit the restaurant."

His condescending tone pissed me right off. Who did he think he was, talking to me like that? I let those brats get away with saying whatever they wanted - and now that I've had my fill of these bitches and their comments, _I'm _the one who gets asked to leave?

_Oh, hell no!_

"She _should _be the one to leave," one of the bachelorette broads said, smirking drunkenly. "Just looking at her yoga pants ruined my appetite."

"That wasn't me, it was the gallon of cheap vodka you just ingested, you fucking cow!" I yelled, pushing past the manager and attempting to take a swing at the woman who just insulted me for the billionth time.

Edward heard that comment, and was up from his seat in a flash.

All I could think was that _maybe I should have let Edward go out tonight without me. 'Cause I'm pretty sure whoever else he'd go out with wouldn't cause a fight in a classy establishment._

XXX

"So... " Edward chuckled as he ran a hand through his hair. "That's the first time I've ever gotten kicked out of a restaurant."

"Meh. Happens to the best of us."

He chuckled again before turning serious. "Next time you decide to initiate a fist fight, please make sure you aren't pregnant with my baby. I care for you two too much to have anything happen to you. Either of you."

"Okay, don't kick ass until after I birth the baby. Got it."

We drove in silence for a couple of miles before I chanced another look at him. "Listen, I'm sorry I ruined your night -"

"You didn't. Those women ruined my night. The way they thought they could talk to you. They were lucky I couldn't hear what they were saying sooner."

"It's my fault. If I was going to go into public wearing sweats, I should have at least brushed my hair, huh?"

I smiled at my joke. He frowned.

"But you are perfect no matter what. I don't know why any of those women thought they should say such fucking _bullshit_..."

"It's 'cause you are good looking, and I looked homeless. It's _fine, _Edward. Seriously. I know I'm hot, my ego is intact."

"You just said you felt ugly tonight." He was calling my bluff.

"Yeah, well ..."

"You said you didn't feel comfortable, and instead of staying in like you suggested, I dragged you out. And then that happened. Oh god, I'm so sorry."

"Stop moping. You weren't the one saying those things about me, those drunk whores were. Who cares?"

"I care." He sighed. "I just wanted to show you off tonight."

I scoffed. "_Show me off_? Why? There isn't much to show off right now."

Edward glared at me before turning his attention back to the road. "Your ego is intact, huh? Right."

I turned my head to look out the window. A few more moments of silence went by again before we arrived back at my house.

"How about I come up and we finish our dinner and watch a movie tonight?" Edward asked as he pulled the car into park.

I shoved my hands into the front pocket of my sweatshirt. "Are you sure you wanna come up?"

"Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't I?"

"Because you're wasting another Saturday night with me."

He rolled his eyes. _Such a girl move. _"And you'd be wasting another Saturday with me. So what?"

"You have a choice when it comes to staying in on a Saturday night. I don't."

I watched as he clenched his jaw. "Not this again. Seriously. I thought we were past this."

"We are."

"Then stop saying the same freaking thing, over and over again!"

I sat back, shocked by his tone of voice. I definitely felt reprimanded.

"Listen," he said, reaching a hand out and placing it on my leg as he tried to calm me down. "Nothing you are going to say is going to scare me away. You aren't ugly, you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen; pregnant or not. Honestly, there is nowhere else that I'd rather be right now."

Unable to come up with a verbal response, I simply nodded.

"Good. I'm glad you understand that now."

I nodded again, even though I hadn't understood anything. My hormone riddled brain refused to comprehend what he said.

That, and, well, I was scared to read too much into his words. I refused to believe that a one night stand had turned into something else for him. That _I _had turned into something else to him.

"Bella?" Edward squeezed the leg that he was still holding. "Are you even listening to me?"

"Oh yeah, of course." I was lying through my teeth. I wasn't sure if he said anything else after I had zoned out or not, but I wasn't willing to admit that. The subject matter that we were talking about was making me uncomfortable, and I wasn't ready to revisit what he may or may not have said.

"Good. How about we go upstairs and watch that movie? I can give you a back massage, too, if you want."

I think I drooled a little bit at the mention of a massage. Edward noticed my expression, which caused him to chuckle.

"I'll take that as a 'yes' then, for the massage."

_Good god ... a massage? Oh, my heart. My heart is in serious danger._

XXX

"Okay, Bella. The gel I'm going to squirt onto your tummy won't be cold, but it will make your stomach feel slimy."

I nodded, and the ultrasound technician smiled at me.

"Are you ready to see your baby again?" she asked.

I turned and looked at Edward, who was sitting right next to me. He smiled the biggest smile I've ever seen grace his face as he anxiously stared at the ultrasound screen.

A lump formed in my throat while I watched him get as excited as I was at the prospect of seeing our baby in the womb.

I should have let him come along to prior ultrasounds, and I was a bitch for not allowing him to.

_Oh well, he's here now. A step in the right direction, right?_

_Right._

"Yeah, we're ready." I squeezed Edward's hand.

Melissa, the technician, smiled. "I hope I'm not overstepping my boundaries here, but is this the baby's father?"

I squeezed Edward's hand again. "Yeah, it is."

She smiled at him in a very welcoming way before she squirted the ultrasound goo on my stomach.

"Okay, baby. Let's cooperate for mommy and daddy, huh?" Melissa rubbed the wand across my baby bump until the image of our baby's arm appeared on the screen.

Edward gasped and squeezed my hand harder.

"Oh, daddy." Melissa smiled again as she turned her attention to Edward. "Is this the first time seeing your baby?"

"Uh." Edward cleared his throat; he was obviously really choked up over seeing the ultrasound in real time instead of just in the images that I had showed him. "Yeah, it is."

I bit my lip, suddenly overcome with emotions myself. Edward was so sweet. Adorable. Perfect.

If Melissa sensed the emotion flowing through the room, she didn't comment on it. She focused her attention completely on taking accurate pictures of our unborn child.

She showed us where the baby's arms, legs, feet, fingers, toes, and spine were. She made the appropriate notations of the measurements from the readings that she was making, and assured us that our baby was growing perfectly considering its fetal age.

Edward stared at the screen as if it contained the secrets to life. Within a few moments, he stood up from his seat and dropped my hand. He started walking to the ultrasound screen.

"Where ... where's the penis?" He walked closer to the screen until his face was almost pressed up against it. "Seriously, where is it? It must be somewhere."

Melissa pushed the ultrasound wand farther down my stomach, darting from left to right, diligently searching for a scrotum.

A few tense moments passed before Melissa cleared her throat. "It seems to me that we aren't finding a penis on your baby."

She clicked her computer mouse a couple more times before printing out a slew of pictures. Holding one picture up to Edward, she pointed to a space between what looked like little legs. "We can't find a penis because your baby is actually a girl."

"Ah ha!" I yelled out. "Cullens produce men, huh? Well your little swimmers just gifted you with a daughter!"

"I don't believe it." Edward scrubbed a hand over his face before studying the picture the ultrasound tech handed to him. "We're having a girl."

I tried to keep the glee from my face. Quite frankly, I was fighting a losing battle. "Don't make me say it, Cullen."

He looked at me with a confused look on his face. "Say what?"

I smiled from my spot on the exam table. "I told you so."

* * *

**E/N: So, whatcha think? I'm guessing that most of you are fed up with Bella's craziness. I'm tellin' ya all right now ... when I was pregnant, I was friggin batshit nuts (I can say it now, hindsight's always 20/20). I had a breakdown at my friend's house because my hair wasn't sitting right, and I cried my eyes out because I couldn't use the body wash that I wanted to because it made my skin itchy. And my husband put up with my ass through all of it! So trust me, it's not completely crazy that Edward is still around after Bella has taken many trips to crazy town. Besides, if you see something you like, you don't give up on it when a little hormones get introduced, do you? This Edward sure as hell doesn't.**

**As a side note, DUDE DUDE DUDE my co-authored (and newly completed) story "Little Fish, Big Fish" was nominated as fic of the week at the Lemonade Stand. Since I won't have a chance to say anything on LFBF (it would be kind of mean to "update" with just an author's note, wouldn't it?) I figured I'd tell the few of you who are still reading this (seriously? YOU'RE STILL READING MY BABBLING? YOU SHOULD GET AN AWARD YOURSELF OR SOMETHING) that you should go over to the Lemonade Stand and vote for my story. Just sayin'. No pressure.**

**As usual, reviews get teasers. The next chapter is one of my favorites, so you just might want a teaser for it (again, no pressure. Or something).**

**OH, and hey! I'm on Twitter. So if you wanna harass me, or whatever, come on over! I love talking. Can't ya tell? ) I'm there as michellemmarie**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I reached the one hundred reviews mark! Thank you all so very much for helping me reach my goal only half way through the story - you're all the best, and I don't deserve you. But you know what? I don't care that I don't deserve you, I want you to keep reading my story! MUWAHAHAHA.**

**Special thanks to the goddess Ubergeekness for cleaning this story up, MizzezPattinson for pimping me out even when she's in the process of moving (ewww the worst thing ever), and Detochkina, for being Detochkina (seriously, this girl is the best thing ever. I adore the shit out of her).**

**Also, a big THANK YOU to Tkegl for designing my banner (and Deotchkina, AGAIN, for "commissioning" it). It's truly wonderful, I'll have a link up in my profile as soon as I can : )**

**Another huge thanks to Lady Gwynedd and Coldplaywhore who have rec'cd this story out. I think that I've reached all of my fic goals now ... LFBF reached 1K AND these wonderful ladies have read this story? It's, like, a dream come true or something.**

**This is one of my favorite chapters - I hope you enjoy it! See ya'll at the bottom!**

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**Chapter Nine - Dear God In Heaven, Please Protect Edward. I'm Going To Tell My Dad That Edward Knocked Me Up (Out Of Wedlock); And My Dad Not Only Knows How To Use A Gun; But Also Has Many At His Immediate Disposal. Basically, Edward May Be In Mortal Danger, So Please Watch Over Him. Amen.**

Edward eyed my suitcase up as I packed my clothes and toiletries.

"What's that for?" He pointed to my black luggage.

"Uh, is that a serious question or a rhetorical one? I hope it was a slip of the tongue, and that you, the man responsible for half of my child's DNA, know what a suitcase looks like."

"I know what a suitcase is, smartass." Edward took a seat on my bed, right next to the luggage that I was packing. "I was just asking what you were using them for."

"Oh, uhm." I stopped packing and took a seat next to him on my bed. "I thought I told you?"

"I'm pretty sure I would have remembered if you told me you were leaving for-" He thumbed through the clothes I had hanging up next to the bed. "-three dresses worth of time." Then he motioned to the dresses that I had hanging up next to my toiletries. "Are you leaving for a conference, or are you speaking somewhere?"

"No, I'm going on a personal trip."

"Personal? _Personal? _Why are you being so evasive, Bella? Why aren't you telling me where you're going?"

I stood back up and resumed my packing..

"Seriously, what's going on?" Edward rose on his feet and followed me from my closet back to my bed, where I continued packing.

"Random question. You don't happen to have a bullet-proof vest, do you?"

"Oh yeah," he answered sarcastically. "I keep it under my pillow, right next to my Justin Bieber diary. What the hell kind of question is that?"

"I'm being serious, actually."

His brow creased in a frown. "Why? Is something wrong? Are you in trouble? Do you have a crazed fan stalking you?" Edward immediately tensed up, his hands balling into fists.

"No, this isn't about me. It's about you. I'm scared for _your _safety."

"I'm … I'm not following you." His forehead wrinkled in confusion.

I stopped pacing back and forth from my closet to my bed and finally crumbled under the weight of his questioning. "I'm going to visit my dad, and tell him that I'm pregnant. With your baby. You- a guy he's never met, never heard of before, who used to be a vagina doctor. And my dad? My dad knows how to use a gun. Like, really well. And I'm scared, Edward! I'm scared that this is all going to be bad, and that … that your daughter is going to grow up without a dad because my dad will kill you. Or worse! That once you meet my crazy dad, you'll decide that I'm not worth the trouble, that your daughter isn't worth the trouble, and you'll leave! I … I … _fuck_!"

My rant was effectively cut off, because Edward crashed his mouth onto mine. And when I say crashed, I mean _crashed, _because he did it with such force that my mouth stung.

He broke the pseudo-kiss and I slapped him on the arm. "What the hell was that for?"

"You were hysterical. I did what I could to break you from it, and it worked," he answered with a crooked smile.

I felt my nipples harden in response to his proximity, but I decided to ignore my body's reaction. "And you felt that crushing my lips was the way to go?"

"I didn't have much time to come up with a plan. Besides, I didn't mean to come onto you so hard. That was an accident."

_Yeah, obviously kissing me was an accident in and of itself. Whatever._

"While I appreciate being calmed down, I'd like to not have a bloody lip right now, thank you very much."

Edward's hands made their way up to my face. He cradled my head in his hands as he gently rubbed his thumbs over my lips. "You don't have a bloody lip."

"It hurts." I whined.

"Do you want me to make it feel better?" His thumb brushed my bottom lip again and heat pooled in my lower region.

_Yes. Yes! Throw my shitty clothes onto the floor and ravage me right here on my bed! I want to hav like, right now. Now! _"N... No. I have to … finish … packing."

Edward's thumb brushed over my lip one more time before he dropped his hands from my face again. "Right. Packing."

He let out a loud sigh before throwing himself back on my bed. "Where are you going again? You said something about your dad. Is that where you are going? To visit your dad?"

"Yep."

"To tell him you're pregnant?"

"You got it."

"Why … why didn't you tell me before? I could have gone with you, Bella."

"What's the point in telling you?"

Edward glared at me, and his previous sentence finally settled in.

I put my hands up. "What? You would've wanted to go with me? To meet my dad?"

"Of course."

"But … but …" I shook my head, trying to make sense of what Edward said. "Why?"

"Because it's your dad, Bella. He's gonna be a grandpa to my daughter, and I … I think I should be there for you when you tell him."

"Why? So he can shoot you? No thanks, Edward. I'd rather have you alive."

He narrowed his eyes. "So that's all this is, then? You being afraid that your father will take out his aggressions on me? Because I knocked you up out of wedlock."

_Sure. It would be perfect if you believed that, actually. It's easier telling you that than the truth. Truthfully, I don't want him to see how much I adore you, I don't want him to know that you mean so much more to me than I mean to you. I don't need the pity. I'd rather have him believe that I am stronger than I really am, that I take after him more than I take after my mom._

Charlie was the kind of person who would handle the situation with a clear head, and be able to form a friendly bond with the other parent of his child without getting too attached. Renee was the kind of person who would fall in love with the father of her unborn child.

Crap. I was totally my mother's daughter.

"Yeah," I replied in a shaky voice. "That's why I want to go on my own."

"I'm a big boy, Bella. I can handle myself." He stood up from my bed and crossed the room, heading for the door.

I watched his retreating form, confused as all hell. I didn't expect to piss him off enough to cause him to leave. "Uhm, aren't you gonna say goodbye? I guess I'll see you in a week, after I get back."

"What?" He stopped in his tracks and turned back around. "Oh no, I'll be right back. I'm just going to go home and pack a bag. I'm coming with you." With that, he turned and continued walking down the hallway, towards the stairs and my front door.

"Wait!" I dropped what I was holding onto the floor and ran after Edward. "You can't be serious."

I caught up to him - this was a feat considering my pregnant body didn't like to move fast - and clutched onto his arm, turning him to face me.

"I _am _serious, Bella. If you say that the only thing that should stop me from going to visit your father is your fear he's going to shoot me, then I'm willing to take my chances."

"Don't be stupid."

"Why? You said that you were afraid of your dad -"

"Yeah."

"And I'm not afraid to stand up to him -"

"But you really should be afraid of him." _Lies. He obviously wouldn't really shoot Edward. At least, I don't think he would … maybe …_

"Then I'm coming."

"No!"

"Yes, Bella."

"No, Edward."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"'Because' isn't a good enough of an excuse."

"Bbbecause I don't want you to come, okay?"

_Liar. You want him to come, you just don't want him to know just how much he means to you. There's a difference._

Edward's face visibly dropped. "Oh." He yanked his hand from my grasp. "Well, that changes things, doesn't it?"

"Uhm …" I mumbled, at a complete loss for words.

"That's what I thought." He ran a hand through his hair before looking towards the door. "I'll let you finish packing. Just … be safe, okay? Let me know if you need anything."

He sounded defeated, as if I had just kicked him in the stomach or something instead of told him that he wasn't invited to come on a road trip to my dad's house.

A lump formed in my throat, so I just nodded my head.

I watched as he walked out of my house, presumably back to his own place. And all the while, I wanted to run out after and tell him that I was lying, and that I really did want him to come with me.

XXX

I didn't know what I was expecting, showing up at my dad's house when I was six months pregnant. I was fully showing now, my baby bump wasn't something that I could hide even if I wanted to, so when I walked into my dad's house, I wasn't fooling anyone.

I was obviously pregnant, and since I wasn't married, it was out of wedlock.

My emotions bubbled to the surface, and I stood at my dad's front door, crying my eyes out.

My dad ushered me inside and held me as I cried all of my insecurities out. He said that he remembered my mother's pregnancy all too well, so he said that it was completely normal for me to be so emotional and hormonal.

My step-mom Sue joined the crazy party and ensured me they were excited as "kittens in mittens" to be grandparents.

Who says that they are "as excited as kittens in mittens"? Only my step-mom.

I spent the next four days with my dad and Sue, shopping and discussing my plans for writing once the baby was born. I had informed my editor two weeks prior that I was going to be taking a sabbatical of sorts, but the publisher was so pleased with the story I had in progress that they were completely fine with me taking some time off.

Thank god my hormones were good for one thing - my writing had taken a dark, angsty turn, and my editor couldn't be happier.

Saturday night found me nestled into the bed in my dad's spare bedroom, reading a book. It was a far cry from what I used to do before I got pregnant, but hey, going clubbing wasn't feasible at this point in my life.

Not that I wanted to go clubbing anyway. I wanted to snuggle up under a warm blanket, read a good book, and … have Edward spend the night with me.

_Crap._

It was getting increasingly harder to ignore the fact that I was falling for Edward, and it was getting even harder to convince myself that it was a bad thing to want to be with the father of my unborn child.

There could be worse things in life, right? Edward could be a deadbeat instead of the perfect specimen that he was …

I kept reminding myself of that, but it didn't make it any easier.

Since I had spent the last four days with my dad, and things had been weighing my mind, I had divulged some of the details to him about Edward and myself. PG-rated details, of course, but details nonetheless.

I told my dad about all the time I was spending with Edward, and how it seemed like we held many of the same interests. I knew that opposites normally attracted, but that wasn't the case for me and my attraction to Edward. I was wholly attracted to him, and we seemed to have been cut from the same cloth when it came to just about everything - from TV programs that we both enjoyed to watch to books that we'd read and music that we listened to.

We even liked the same sports.

It was comforting for me to be able to share these details with my dad, and slowly but surely, I was realizing that I wasn't just crushing on Edward.

It was deeper than that. Much, much deeper.

All that being said, my father had been much more supportive than I had given him credit for - shockingly so, in fact - and I started thinking that maybe I had been a little over-dramatic about the pregnancy in general.

My dad wasn't going to shoot Edward, and he wasn't going to disown me just because I made a beautiful mistake by sleeping with a man I'd never met before and subsequently making a baby with him. Maybe, just maybe, I was letting my hormones control my brain when it came to recent matters of the heart.

Obviously those words about my hormones were my dad's and not my own, but I was woman enough to admit that maybe he was right.

I snuggled farther into the bed and found myself drifting to sleep before my phone blaring Alice's ringtone caught my attention.

Not expecting my phone to ring, I nearly jumped out of my skin before I reached over to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Bellllllllaaaaaaaaa." Alice slurred. "I misssss youuuu."

I smiled and sighed. "I miss you too, my dear drunken Alice."

"You know who else misses you?"

"Who?" I closed my book and sat up in bed. I was wide awake now, happy that Alice decided to call me when she had been drinking. Since I, myself, wasn't able to get drunk, getting drunk-dialed had to be second best.

"Edward. Edward misses you."

My heart skipped a beat before it started beating faster, the mere sound of his name gave me palpitations.

"You're funny." I hoped that she was somehow right and that Edward was missing me as much as I was missing him.

I slapped myself in the forehead when I realized how the last few days away from home had turned me into a lovesick goon. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?

"I'm telling the truth, Bella. I swear it. You should hear him, going on and on about how amazing and funny and beautiful and perrrrrfect you are."

My heart beat erratically a few more times before jumping into my throat.

"You're really drunk, Alice." _There's no way he's pining over me. There's no way he's pining over me. There's no way he's pining over me. _

"I'm-" _hiccup_"-drunk enough to want to call you and tell you what I know without caring about the consequences tomorrow morning."

"Come on, Alice. Get real here."

"I'm telling the truth. Trust me, bitch. Hold on … Edward! Hey, Edward. Come over here, k?"

I heard a male's voice get closer to Alice's receiver. It wasn't long before I recognized Edward's voice on the other end of my phone call.

He had obviously been drinking, too.

"Wha, Alice? Whaddya want?"

"I'm talking to Bella," Alice answered. "I'm telling her how much you miss her."

"Bella?" His voice perked up, and there was a rustling on the other end of the line before Edward grabbed the phone from Alice and his drunken voice filled my ears. "Bella, is that you?"

I stiffled a giggle. He sounded so young, so unsure of himself. "Yeah, Edward, it's me."

"Oh God, baby, I've missed you so much."

A chill ran down my spine, the sound of his voice gave me goosebumps and caused my nipples to harden in an instant.

That was when I realized that he called me "baby" which he had never done before. _He must be talking about his unborn daughter, you idiot._

"The baby misses you too," I replied, fighting off the lump that had formed in my throat and the sudden urge to cry that came along with it.

My hormones were really fucking with my ability to fight off mood swings. I was acting like a crazy person - I mean, I had no reason to be upset that he missed his baby. I should've been _glad _that he missed his baby. Our child was the most important thing in the world, I would never begrudge her of anything. Ever.

Edward interrupted my inner rant. "No, baby. I miss _you. You're _my baby. I miss _you. _My Bella ..."

I didn't have a response for that. I mean, I missed him too. So much. But he was drunk, and I knew first hand how drinking could make someone yearn for something that they didn't really want.

_Like how alcohol enabled me to somehow sleep with Mike Newton more than once._

_Ick._

"Bella?" He questioned again. "Are you- you still there?"

"Y … yeah, I am." I swallowed, my mouth suddenly dry.

"Can you come home now? 'Cuz I miss you."

My heart jumped from my throat and swelled until it threatened to burst.

"Edward, I … I miss you too."

"You do?"

"I do."

"Good."

I laughed, unable to contain myself anymore. It was a mixture of nervous laughter and pure happiness.

Quite frankly, I was afraid of what was going to come out of his mouth next.

"I'm glad I make you laugh. 'Cuz _you _make me laugh. And that's so important. You're funny, and sexy, so fucking sexy. _ Fuck_."

"Pregnant isn't sexy." I'm unable to fully comprehend what he was saying.

"You could be the second coming of octo … octup … octomom. Yeah, octomom. And you'd still be the sexiest woman alive."

I laughed so loud that I was sure I woke up my dad and stepmom.

"You're a funny drunk, Edward."

He paused, loudly taking a sip of whatever he was drinking. "Are you here yet? How far away are you? You shouldn't have left. You shouldda stayed. With me."

"And called my dad from the hospital to tell him that I was in labor with the grandchild he didn't know I was having? It's bad enough that I'm not going home for the holidays, Edward. I think he deserves a heads up about me having a baby."

"I didn't say he didn't." It sounded like he took another sip of his drink. "My mom's coming up here in a month. To meet you."

I nearly choked on air. I wasn't expecting that in the least. "What?"

"She wants to meet you."

"Why? Wait, I know why. But … why am I hearing about this now? When you are obliterated out of your mind?" I was panicking, and it was showing in the tone of my voice.

"I wasn't gonna tell you. It was gonna be a s'prise. But … "

"You. Weren't. Gonna. Tell. Me," I ground out, starting to get angry regardless of the upbeat mood our conversation had been in.

"Nope. I didn't want you to lock me outta your house. Or ignore me. Or run away. Or. Or … "

"So you thought it was going to be a better idea to just show up on my doorstep with your mom in tow? What the hell, Edward? What if I was wearing my pajamas or something?"

"She'll love you no matter what you're wearing."

I rolled my eyes. "You can't possibly know that."

"But I do." I could hear him smile drunkenly into the phone. "She already loves you."

I let out a little laugh, regardless of still being pissed. "You're drunk, Edward. Everyone loves everyone when they are drunk."

"I am drunk, but that doesn't mean that I'm saying that because I'm drunk. I'm sayin' it 'cuz it's the truth. The truth."

"Riiiiight." I sighed, running a hand through my sleep-flattened hair. "I still don't know why you weren't gonna tell me that your mom was coming to town."

He hiccuped. "I told you now."

"But you are drunk! It doesn't count!"

He was really pushing my buttons.

"When I'm drunk I can say things that don't count?"

"Yes. No! Shit, obviously you aren't going to understand this concept. You're fucking plastered."

He hummed an agreement. "Yes, yes I am."

"Alright. So there you have it."

Edward was obviously walking away from the other people that he had been around, because I heard the slow drone of other people talking gradually disappear.

"Where are you walking to, Edward?"

"I wanted to get away for a second. Is that … is that ok?"

"Sure?" I wasn't positive why he would do that, but who was I to question it more. I was lucky that he was still talking to me. Seriously, this must've been one of the longest drunk dials in history.

"Good." I heard his heavy breathing in the phone before he moved the microphone away from his mouth again.

"Are you okay? You're breathing funny."

"No, I'm … I'm fine."

"Are you sure? I breathe kinda funny when I'm getting ready to puke. Maybe I should let you go - Alice would be super fucking pissed if you puked on her phone. Trust me."

"You're just … so funny. And pretty. And -"

I stopped him right there. "You've already told me all this, Edward. No need to rehash your drunken proclamations …"

"I know I already told you. It's 'cuz it's true. You're perfect-"

"And you're so drunk. You don't need to say how wonderful I am right now, because everyone is wonderful when you're drunk."

"But it's so true. And I love you for it."

I stopped breathing. _He just had to go and use the "L" word, didn't he? _"Edward, I don't think -"

"No, don't say anything. I'm trying to tell you something-"

Just then, Alice interrupted drunken Edward.

"Edward! I need my phone back. Dear God, are you talking to Bella still? You've been talking with her for like, _forever." _Alice said it loudly enough so I could hear her clearly over the phone even without having the receiver right up to her face.

There was a pause and what sounded like Edward growling at Alice. Finally, he spoke into the phone again. "Babe, I gotta go. S-satan's asking for her phone back."

_Babe. He called me babe. Sigh. _"Oh, okay."

"You coming back tomorrow?"

I smiled and shook my head. This man did not know how to give up. "I'll try."

"Good. I miss you."

"I miss you, too," I answered truthfully.

"Hey Bella?"

"Yes, Edward?"

"I'm glad you miss me."

I smiled against my phone, reveling in the sheer youthfulness of our conversation. "I'm glad you miss me, too."

When I didn't hear anything else coming from the other end of the call, I looked at my phone and realized that Edward must have hung up.

I grabbed the phone and cradled it to my chest. Drunk Edward was like a five-year-old, spouting out random, feel-good truths.

Even if they didn't feel like truths at all.

_And he called me "babe."_

It was those happy thoughts I drifted off to that night. I dreamed of Edward and I, living in a home with a white picket fence and 2.5 kids.

It was the happiest dream I ever remembered having.

* * *

**E/N: So, whatcha think? Reviews, as always, get teasers (as long as they aren't left on Wednesday morning. Then I really don't have much to tease you guys with because I usually try to post the next chapter ASAP on Wednesday). Oh, and hey you guys! Leave me a signed review so I can reply to them. PLEASE? It kills me when I can't thank you for your reviews!**

**Before I forget, THANK YOU to all of you who read, review, favorite, alert, or rec this story. You guys are all so very amazing. Seriously. You practically bring tears to my eyes! (Okay, okay, I admit it. You DO bring tears to my eyes. But hey, I'm really emotional lately!)**

**Yeah, yeah, I know that Bella is crazy. But we're at the halfway point here folks. It'll get better. And a lot more exciting. And a lot more crazy! I can't wait to see what you guys think : )**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Sorry this is a day late! I was so devastated over Robsten that I could barely function - KIDDING. I've actually had a busy last few days, and my laptop wasn't cooperating with me yesterday.**

**I have some news for ya'all! It turns out that writing/uploading a story that makes fun of pregnancy isn't a smart thing to do when you're not on birth control. Children, what does sex plus no birth control equal? Babies. Yep, I'm pregnant with my second right now! PLEEEASE tell me again that pregnant women aren't that hormonal, because I'll laugh at you (and then probably cry because I'd feel picked on). Also, I shouldn't have made fun of morning sickness so much 'cause I've got me a good 'ol case of the "sick all day"s. Yessssss LIFE IS GOOD.**

**In other news, At Last has had a big week this week! Thank you to my awesome pre-readers (the Canadian duo) MizzezPattinson and Coldplaywhore (their pennames aren't their real names … CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?). These women have taken the idea of "pimping" this story to the next level. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU! Huge thanks to Ubergeekness for cleaning this up and Detochkina for reading, re-reading, and fixing my terrible grammar/plot issues. AND THANK YOU FOR COMING TO THE RESCUE WHEN GOOGLE DOCUMENTS DECIDED TO START A WAR WITH ME! You're the best. xoxo**

**Detka knows my Bella is annoying, and I do too. But pregnant women must stick together! This girl's gonna keep B as she was originally planned.**

**Oh, before I forget, HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY TO COLDPLAYWHORE!**

**WARNING: This story employs the (sometimes extreme) use of sarcasm. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. (A font specifically used for sarcasm would really be handy right about now, ya know?) **

**Ready to meet Pickleward? Okay, on with the story!**

* * *

**Chapter Ten - It's Gross Enough Knowing That Something Is Growing Inside of Me. But Knowing That My Organs That Used To Be Where The Baby Is Have Shifted, Like, Into My Ribs? That's A Whole New Level Of Disgusting, Regardless Of The Fact That I Love Said Co-Occupant More Than Life Itself.**

I arrived home early from my trip to see my dad and my stepmom, eager to please Edward since he had begged me to come back the night before, but Edward wasn't home when I got home. In fact, he didn't come home until the day that I was scheduled to come home.

_Where the fuck was he?_

He obviously didn't remember begging me to come home. Which meant that he didn't remember other parts of our conversation … right?

_Right. Fuck. Why can't this be easy?_

XXX

Three weeks later, Edward and I were having breakfast together in my kitchen.

"Remind me again when your mom is coming?"

Edward took another sip of his coffee and placed it down on the kitchen island next to his eggs and toast.

I was also having eggs and toast, but my appetite hadn't kicked in yet. Besides, I enjoyed watching Edward eat more than I liked to eat breakfast. I was a pregnant anomaly.

"Sunday."

"So in a week?"

"Yep."

I nodded and took another sip of my apple juice. Because of the incessant heartburn that I'd been having as of late, I was stuck with drinking water and apple juice. Not much variety on the beverage front, but hey, at least I could tolerate something other than water_._

"Any reason why you are wondering?"

I took another sip of my juice before getting up from my seat and walking over to where I kept the Tums. Tums had become my best friend, and I couldn't ingest anything without popping a few of them.

In fact, I'd eaten so many Tums over the months of my pregnancy, I'd developed a favorite -wintergreen, and least favorite -assorted fruit- flavor. I couldn't step out of the house without a tub of Tums in my purse.

"Yeah, I just wanted to make sure that I was ready for when she came."

He frowned a little. "What do you mean, 'ready?'"

I made my way back to the island and sat back down next to Edward. "I can't meet your mom looking like a pregnant bum. She's gonna think ill of me. If she met me while I was wearing a velour sweatsuit set, hair toppled in a messy bun at the top of my head, nails unkempt, she'd think I was only after your money." I exaggerated a wink.

"I already told you, babe. There is nothing that you could do that would make her not like you."

My heart soared, as it had been doing since Edward started calling me "babe."

The name had stuck since Edward and Alice drunk dialed me when I was visiting my dad, even though nothing that happened that night had ever been discussed. It turned out that Edward was at his aunt and uncle's place the majority of the time I was gone, and we didn't talk about anything other than that when he got back. I figured that if Edward wanted to talk about it, he would bring it up. Needless to say, and to my secret disappointment, he never did.

"I've already got my work cut out for me, being that I'm your baby mama. We all know that baby mamas come with drama."

Edward laughed and nudged me in the shoulder. "Not _this_baby mama."

I rolled my eyes. _Oh, really now? _

_Psssh. You don't think there's drama because I don't tell you the fact that us spending time like an old married couple makes me want to _be _an old married couple. _

But instead of telling Edward this or any of the things that had been on my mind for the last few weeks, I simply shrugged and smiled, agreeing that I wasn't going to be providing any baby mama drama.

I wanted to scream at him and ask him how many women enjoyed Christopher Moore's books as much as I did when he had admitted to Moore's literature as being one of his guilty pleasures. Or how many people our age appreciated the talents of Will Ferrell when the majority of the people who followed him were still college-aged. Or how many people followed Green Day as religiously as we did.

But I didn't. I couldn't point all those things out to him, because I was afraid of the consequences of doing so.

I had officially turned into a softie. The bitchy, pre-pregnancy Bella who spoke her mind and took no prisoners was gone, instead turned into a pregnant scaredy-cat who was too afraid to take the bull by the horns and control her destiny.

Maybe I felt like the control I thought I had over my life was superficial. I truly _didn't_have any real say over my life in the long run, because if I had that kind of say in my life, I wouldn't be pregnant at the moment, and that thought alone scared the shit out of me. Getting pregnant was the best thing that had ever happened to me, and if it had never happened as I had once wished, I … couldn't imagine where my life would be.

"Is your mom going to be here for Christmas then?" I felt comfortable changing the topic, so I leaned back into my chair and took the first bite of my breakfast.

"No, actually she's gonna leave on Christmas Eve morning. My dad didn't feel up to making the trip out here now - he would rather wait until the baby was born to take leave off work, so my mom wants to fly home and have Christmas with him."

"Does that mean you are going home with her? To have Christmas in New York with your family?"

Edward looked perplexed by my question. "No, I'm going to stay here for the holidays."

I couldn't explain the intense surge of relief that I felt in knowing that Edward was going to be in Seattle for Christmas, even though I already had plans with Rosalie and wouldn't have much free time to see him anyway.

I was just relieved that he wasn't going to be across the country. It felt like him being that far away would cause me heartache or something - the feeling was indescribable.

_Add "needy" to the baby mama drama list._

Though there was something nagging me, wondering why he decided not to spend the holidays with his parents. I couldn't help but ask.

"Why are you staying here? Do you have to work?"

"Haven't we had this conversation yet? I could have sworn I already told you this."

_No, Edward. I would have remembered if we had this conversation already because I remember everything you tell me._

_Everything._

I didn't say that out loud, instead I shrugged. "I don't know … you know me. I've got pregnancy brain."

He studied my face for a moment. "Oh, uhm, Carlisle's going to be shutting down the practice for a few days so I don't have to work. I don't know, it just … didn't feel right flying to New York. It feels like my place is here now. Like I shouldn't be leaving to celebrate with my parents. Instead I'm going to be celebrating with my aunt and uncle's family."

"Carlisle and …" I struggled, trying to remember his aunt's name. After all, pregnancy brain was a real thing. "Esme, right? I always forget her name because it's so odd. Seems like a made-up name if you ask me."

"Yeah it's Esme," he said, smiling. "You have an excuse to forget her name. 'Pregnancy brain' and all that, right? Honestly though, if you have time, you should come over and meet them."

"I hardly think they'd want to meet me at Christmas."

"Why?"

"Christmas is a time to spend with your family." _Duh._

"So? You _are_my family."

I couldn't help the blush that spread across my cheeks. "You are such a cheeseball."

Smiling brightly, he took my jab at him as a joke. Getting playful, he poked me in the sides, clearly trying to tickle me. I batted his hands away.

"Seriously? You are seriously trying to tickle a pregnant woman? Do you _want _to get peed on?"

His fingers stilled at my sides. "That depends."

I pursed my lips. "On?"

"Whether I get you good or not. It's gotta be good to justify getting peed on."

I giggled, unable to help myself. "Oh my god, you are so gross!" I joked.

Edward's eyes gleamed with mischief as he swiftly picked me up from the bar stool that I was sitting on.

"What the hell, Edward? Put me down!"

"No can do, babe. I'm not gonna just drop you in the middle of the room. Gotta get to a couch first."

Because I was evil, and I was sick of being carried around just to endure more tickle torture, I switched tactics. "Edward, this position is hurting me." I bluffed, adding a groan for good measure.

He stopped walking. "Are you serious? Is it ligament pain, or is it something worse?"

"Ah," I moaned, keeping my smile masked by my fake cry of pain. "It hurts."

"Fuck." Edward lowered me to the ground and placed me down, running his hands through my hair as he did so. "I'm so sorry. Please tell me what to do."

"Come closer," I whispered. "It hurts."

Edward, being the naive man that he was, wasn't used to my tricks, so he kneeled by my side. He didn't notice the fact that I was grinning like a fool as he got closer, either.

"Closer, please."

His eyes narrowed as he acquiesced to my instructions.

"Edward," I murmured, my mouth now right next to his ear, "you are so friggin gullible!" I reached my hands up and tickled his sides, a tried and true place where ninety nine percent of people were ticklish.

Edward was apparently the one percent that was unaffected by me touching his sides. Instead of reacting the way I thought he would, he grabbed my hands and removed them from his body, effectively stopping my tickle efforts and leaving me completely defenseless.

"You really shouldn't have done that," he said in a deep, seductive voice.

"Done-" _Giggle _"-what?"

He pinned my arms to the floor above my head and taking care to avoid my belly, he hovered around my head. "You know what."

I couldn't help the moan that escaped my lips. Something so simple as a tickle war had started to turn me on, and there was no turning back.

"Oh fuck," Edward whispered, moving his face down to mine. "Do you know what you do to me, Bella? Especially when you play all coy like that?"

"Oh shit." I shivered as Edward moved his nose along my jaw.

"You drive me crazy." He let go of my hands but didn't move his face away from mine. Instead of using his hands to pin me down, he moved them up and down my body, paying special attention to the area around my breasts.

I moved a little bit and allowed Edward to slip my shirt and bra off. I was such a floozy, laying on my carpet shirtless, but I didn't care - I was about to combust from all of the unresolved sexual tension that hung in the air.

We needed to relieve some of that tension, stat.

He played with my nipples and was careful considering they were extra sensitive due to the abundance of hormones surging through my system. It was his tender touch that was putting me over the edge - he wasn't just feeling me up like a horny man who hadn't gotten any in awhile. He was caressing me, making me feel treasured.

And touching my boobies, which was super-duper awesome.

"You seriously turn me into someone I don't even know anymore," he said. His hands stayed on my breasts as he focused his attention on my neck and peppered kisses along my neck and collarbone. "Someone I don't know, but someone I like. I like who I am with you."

_Seriously? He is talking about this kind of stuff now? Fuck, leave it to a man to get all emotional when it's clear he's gonna get lucky._

"I like who we are together," I answered honestly. As soon as my confession slipped out, my eyes widened in fear.

_Holy shiiiiit. I totally admitted that out loud._

Edward didn't seem to hear me, because he simply gestured towards my bedroom. "Mind if we pick this up in there?"

As much as I wanted to join him in the bedroom, I hesitated for a moment. Edward noticed my hesitation.

"What is it, Bella?"

I faked a smile. "Nothing. I need to go freshen up. You know, brush my teeth and stuff. Be there in a few."

"Don't take too long." He grinned. "Don't want breakfast to get _too_cold, right?"

"I won't; I promise I'll be fast."

I watched Edward gallop towards my bedroom, surely excited that my pregnancy hormones were working for him instead of against him, but for some weird reason, I couldn't help the ache that I felt in my chest.

Truth be told, my body's reaction to Edward aside, I didn't want to have sex right now. I wanted to figure out what he meant when he said that he liked who he was with me. I wanted to understand his thoughts about when I said that I liked who we were together. I wanted to find out what was going to happen with us if our friendship were to ever change to something more than just we're-pregnant-together-we-fuck-when-we-get-crazy-horny-and-we-see-each-other-so-much-that-we-act-like-a-long-time-married-couple-even-though-we've-only-known-each-other-for-a-few-months.

I walked into the bathroom ran my hands through my hair. I stared at my reflection for awhile, noticing that my hair was limp, my skin was an odd shade of pale, and I had huge bags under my eyes _Not too bad - maybe just a little color in my cheeks, and I'm good to go. _I grabbed my bronzer and rubbed some powder across my cheeks and on top of my breast. I quickly brushed my teeth and rinsed with mouthwash for good measure. Giving myself one last look in the mirror, I fluffed my hair a little bit before walking out of the room and walking towards my bedroom.

I came to a decision as I reached my bedroom. I was going to take what I could get right now, consequences be damned - I wasn't going to waste any opportunity with him.

For all I knew, this was as good as it was going to get.

_I'm a scardy cat … remember?_

I raced back to my bedroom, unable to deny the carnal need to simply have Edward inside me.

The look that Edward gave me screamed _need. _I couldn't resist myself, I threw my stomach-heavy body into his arms and placed a passionate kiss on his lips.

We kissed for what felt like hours, only stopping when Edward turned us around, pressed me into the bed, and shifted his attention from my mouth to my sensitive breasts.

Edward was a breast man - and an ass man - hell, he was just a man. And at that moment, I pretended that he was mine.

His lips moved from my boobs and trailed down my belly before he placed a small kiss on the peak of my belly and sat up on his knees.

"Are you ready for me, baby?"

I was barely able to answer him before he was inside me. My entire body ached with need, and the action of him thrusting in and out of me only intensifed that ache.

Neither of us lasted long that day. The foreplay in my kitchen had worked us up to the point where Edward was practically a two-pump chump.

He wasn't though, even with this minor, temporary issue, I couldn't see him in a negative light. Edward was no two pump chump, no matter how fast he reached climax.

He was so much more than that.

And I had officially turned into a Hallmark card.

XXX

Rose had gone with me to the salon to get my hair and nails done on Saturday, the day before Mrs. Cullen was scheduled to arrive. I just needed a trim, but ended up getting my bangs cut a little shorter than I was used to.

The new look gave me some of the "pep" that my pregnant self had lost over the last few months. It felt nice to feel pretty again, even if it was only for a day and thanks to the wonderful blowout that my stylist, Mikka, gave me.

After the salon, Rosalie and I made a trip to the mall, where she treated me to a new outfit.

"It's not every day that you meet your new mother-in-law," she'd said jokingly.

"She's not my mother-in-law," I said begrudgingly.

I wasn't sure why I was so upset with that fact - I'd only known Edward for a handful of months. Was I seriously expecting myself to jump straight from "semi-fuck-buddies" to "betrothed"?

Hell no.

"She isn't your mother-in-law …_ yet_." She smirked as she picked up a shirt off the rack. "What about this one?"

Truth be told, the shirt she was holding was horrendous. It was big, as most pregnancy clothes were, with a monstrosity of a bow perched in the space right above where the belly was supposed to show.

"How about … not?"

Rosalie frowned. "Oh, why not, Bella? It's so adorable!"

"Really? Why don't _you_wear it then?"

"Shut the front door. You know this is a maternity shirt."

I smirked. "So what? Looks like you have a food baby in there." I motioned to her non-existent, completely flat belly. "So the shirt should fit perfectly."

Rosalie could tell that I was joking around with her. She was hot and she knew it, but if poking fun at the fact that she was crazy skinny and in no way needed anything bigger than a size S made me feel better, then she was game.

"Oh, Bella. I've missed you so much."

"Psssh. You see me practically every day, Rosalie. What are you talking about?"

"I may see you, but you … I dunno … haven't been yourself lately?"

"It's the hormones. If I could deep-six one aspect of being pregnant, it would totally freaking be that."

Rosalie reached out and squeezed my arm. "Oh, you are so cute. Saying 'freaking' instead of 'fucking'? You are gonna be such a good mom, Bella."

My eyes started to water. I didn't know what it was about her reassuring me that I was going to be able to do this that made me all sappy and emotional and stuff.

"Shit, Ro. You're gonna screw up my makeup."

"Sorry, B. It's just - you surprise me everyday, you know? I never pictured you pregnant, to be honest, and now that you are … I can't picture you any other way. It's like you were meant to do this, meant to be a mom. And I'm so proud of you."

Unable to hold them back anymore, tears toppled onto my cheeks. I didn't even bother to try to wipe them away, regardless of the fact that we were in public.

_Hey, it's not like a pregnant crying woman is a rarity, right?_

Rose pulled me into a hug, and I awkwardly wrapped my arms around her. I squeezed her as tightly as my pregnant self would allow before letting her go.

I realized that she had tears in her eyes, too, so we made quick work of clearing away the evidence that we'd cried as we wiped each other's tears away.

"I fucking love you hard, B."

"I love you more, Ro."

XXX

Edward and I decided it was best for us to go to the airport to pick up his mom together since the main reason for her visit was to meet me. Besides, there was no reason to delay the inevitable, was there?

The sooner we got it over with, the better, so I was dressed and ready to go four hours before Elizabeth's flight was scheduled to land.

My hair was perfectly primped, makeup expertly applied, and the clothes I'd chosen showed off my pregnant belly in the most flattering ways.

In short, I looked as good as I could possibly look.

Edward picked me up early and we caught a quick lunch before heading over to the airport. Unfortunately for me, the unexpectedly spicy sandwich I ordered was not sitting well with me. I had to make Edward pull the car over twice on the way to the airport so I could puke.

Edward got out of the car the second time he pulled over and walked away to give me the privacy that I begged for as I emptied my stomach onto the side of the road.

_So much for making a good impression. I'm going to meet Elizabeth looking bloated and with puke breath._

Seating myself back into Edward's car, I flipped the visor mirror down and peered at my reflection.

Pardon my French, but I looked like absolute and total fucking shit. My eyes had watered, a side effect I always suffered from while I was puking, which caused the copious amounts of eye makeup that I had applied to run down my face. Outside of the distinct tear tracks that were present on my face, the bronzer and concealer left on my face did nothing to cover up the splotches on my skin.

After seeing my reflection in the mirror - the perfectly crafted image gone and replaced by something reminiscent of a dirty crack whore - I cried.

Hard.

Sobs wracked my body, and before I knew it, I was crying uncontrollably. I didn't notice that Edward had returned to the car and was staring at me with a look of fright. He must have thought that something was wrong with me or the baby, because he immediately freaked out.

"Bella! Oh God, Bella! What's wrong? Are you in pain? Do I need to bring you to the doctor? Oh shit, I totally allowed you to eat something that poisoned you or something, didn't I?"

I shook my head furiously. Edward looked so sincere and so apologetic over the food, I couldn't help myself. I started to cry again. "She's … she's … she's gonna hate me!"

"Who? My mom?" he asked, climbing back into the car and shutting the door behind him.

I nodded.

He let out a sigh. "When are you gonna understand that no matter what, she's going to adore you? You are amazing, Bella, and my mom is smart enough to see that even though the place that I brought you to for lunch didn't agree with you - my mistake, and I'm sorry for bringing you there - it doesn't matter."

I sniffled a few times as I tried to wipe my eyes. "I'm just so nervous, and I have no idea why."

_Oh, I know why. I'm just not willing to delve into my hopes and dreams right now._

"You're scared because you're having my child. You're carrying my mom's first grandchild. I get it. I'm just telling you that there's no reason to be worried."

"Oh, really? So your mom has approved of all of your past pregnant one-night-stand girls?"

Used to my certain brand of pregnant bitchiness, he rolled his eyes at me. "No, but she's approved of all the girlfriends I've introduced her to."

"I assume there have been a lot?" I sniffled some more, unable to curb the tears that sprung to my eyes at the mention of past girlfriends.

I was so jealous of said ex-girlfriends for being able to have the status of girlfriend. _Bitches._

"Oh yeah, like, a revolving door of girlfriends."

The tears flowed a little more freely as I thought about all of the women that must have held a special enough place in Edward's heart to have been introduced to his mother.

"Don't tell me you believed that." Edward eyed me incredulously. "Holy shit, you did. Listen, I've only introduced my mom to my high school girlfriend and my med school girlfriend. Considering the years between them, you have to understand that it's been awhile."

My chest constricted under the pressure I started to feel. It _was_a big deal being introduced to Elizabeth, wasn't it?

Only two other girls had been introduced to her before me? I started crying even harder.

"Baby, you gotta calm down. Seriously."

"But … b...b...but she's … gonna …"

"She will love you. Almost as much as I do. I promise you, Bella, you have nothing to worry about."

_Holy shit. Wait … what did he just say?_

Edward scratched the back of his neck. "Look, the point is that you have nothing to worry about. At all. Just be yourself, and everything will be perfect."

He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a Kleenex. I grabbed it and raised an eyebrow.

"What? I'm prepared. Sometimes you cry, and I need to be ready for that, you know?"

I nodded and started wiping my eyes with the tissue he handed me. "What else do you have in your pockets in the name of 'being prepared?'"

He shifted in his seat, clearly not comfortable with the direction our conversation had gone in. "Some Tums - peppermint, I think. A little travel size bottle of the lotion that you use because I know how the pregnancy has caused your skin to be drier than normal and you're always scratching yourself because of it, and, uhm, some chapstick, because you chew on your bottom lip a lot lately."

I looked at myself in the mirror again and noticed that Edward was right - I _had _been chewing on my bottom lip a lot lately. In fact, I was chewing on it at that very moment.

He smiled and rubbed his thumb along my lip. "You gotta be careful with this. The air is getting dry, and your lips are more susceptible to getting chapped as it is."

"I only chew on my lip when I'm nervous."

"But you do it all the time when you are around me."

I shrugged. _What can I say? I'm nervous around you a lot, Edward. Because I'm so fucking in love with you, and I don't know how to tell you that._

"Well, I rub the back of my neck when I'm nervous." He smiled at me, rubbing the back of his neck.

"You do that a lot." I smiled back at him and dried the rest of the tears from my eyes.

I may have cried all of my makeup off, but at least my hair still looked good. _Now my only issue is my puke breath._

"Hey, Mary Poppins. Have any gum in those pockets of yours?"

"As a matter of fact, I do." Edward grabbed a pack of gum from his pocket and pulled out a piece for me and a piece for himself.

I popped it into my mouth and happily chewed away my puke breath. I paused for a moment and reveled in its taste.

"This tastes like you." I savored the gum in my mouth.

"I chew it often." He smiled and rubbed the back of his neck.

_Oh god, that is so adorable._

Edward sensed that things were okay again, so he put the car into drive and continued driving us to the airport to pick up his mom. Once we reached the airport parking lot, he put the car into park and walked around to my door, opening it up like the gentleman I was sure his mother raised.

"Kicking your manners into gear just in time for your mom's arrival? Typical." I grinned and lightly punched the arm that he held out for me to grab.

"Gotta give mom the impression that I'm a gentleman, right?"

I laughed and shook my head but grabbed his arm regardless.

We walked into the airport, arm in arm -which wasn't done on purpose, I swear- and waited at the spot closest to where Elizabeth was supposed to meet us.

According to her flight itinerary, her flight was on time and was expected to be arriving right about …

"Pickle!"

I smirked at the silly nickname and felt Edward tense up beside me.

"Pickle!" the woman cried again, this time getting closer to where we were standing.

_Nuh uh. No way is the woman crying out "pickle" actually Elizabeth Cullen. 'Cause that would mean that _Edward _was pickle and come on, that's just silly._

A woman pushed through the crowd of people who had gathered in front of us and stared right at Edward.

"Pickle! Oh goodness, being an expectant father is doing wonders for your skin. And your hair! Oh, you look positively radiant!"

Edward's face flushed. "Mom, uh -"

_Holy shit. This woman is Elizabeth. And Edward is _pickle.

_Oh this is too good._

* * *

**E/N:**  
**At Last was nominated for "fic of the week" this last week on the Lemonade Stand. I'm so touched … so honestly HUMBLED. I even got some votes, too! THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU WHO VOTED.**

**Regarding all of you who are pissed at how immature Bella is acting, I'm gonna quote a review I got here from PreciousJuls:**  
**"I'm telling you, those hormones jack you up! I was not only crazy emontionally**  
**but I had pregnacy brain! I could not remember anything. I really think that**  
**short memory loss thing is still there and my son is 20 months! Everyone has**  
**to remember, Edward is/was a Obgyn doc. He knows and expects this behavior.**  
**Also, I loved that Edward stuck up for his woman :) and I'm telling you, do**  
**not mess with a pregnant woman. I' m glad you should that part in a fun/funny**  
**way."**  
**Okay, all that being said, this girl is who she is. She's treading unfamiliar territory - being pregnant for the first time (especially if it's unplanned) can be a very scary experience. Hang in there, this girl is worth your time. At least I think she is!**

**Okay, enough talking (GAWD! THE HORMONES ARE MAKING ME A CHATTY CATHY!). Reviews, as always, get teasers. I hope that I responded to all the reviews left to me before yesterday - if I didn't, I really meant to! I swear!**

**THANK YOU SO MUCH TO ALL OF YOU WHO ARE READING/REVIEWING/FAVORITING/ALERTING/AND RECC'ING THIS STORY. I ADORE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: First and foremost, I want to thank "Team At Last" for all their input: MizzezPattinson and Coldplaywhore for pre-reading and sheer awesomeness, Ubergeekness for makin' my words all purdy, and Detochkina for … everything. Seriously! The amount of editing and re-editing this woman does is mind bottling (yep, bottling. LOL)!**

**Secondly, I wanted to thank all of you for your kind words towards my pregnancy. You guys all have hearts of gold.**

**And hey! Don't stop leaving stories about your pregnancy - I love hearing the quirky little things that happened when you were pregnant :)**

**Lastly, thank you to all of you who are rec'cing this story out there. I don't have any idea who is being so kind to me (many of the recs are in communities that I unfortunately don't belong to, so I don't know who to thank), but each and every rec is so utterly appreciated.**

**Okay, on with the shitshow I like to call "At Last"!**

**WARNING: Use of sarcasm/snark ahead. Proceed at your own risk.**

* * *

**Chapter Eleven - Dear Unborn Daughter: I Will Never Ever Give You A Nickname As Silly As Pickle. How About … Potato Chip? Fruit Salad? Peppermint Bon Bon? Any Of Those Feelin' Right To You? **

"Oh,baby pickle, I've missed you so much!" Mrs. Cullen exclaimed and gathered her son into her arms, hugging him tightly.

It was cute, it really was. I just couldn't wrap my head around his nickname. Or the fact that Edward was clearly a mama's boy.

_Uh oh._

"I missed you too, Mom." Edward pulled himself out of his mother's grasp. His face was flushed pink and he looked more embarrassed than I'd ever seen him before.

It was at that point that it dawned on me. _Edward wasn't nervous about his mom meeting me, he was nervous about me meeting his mom._

I smiled a little bit at that thought and reached out for Edward's hand. I squeezed it tight and smiled at him.

I hoped that he understood that I was by his side no matter what, and that an eccentric mother was nothing that I wasn't used to. My own mother, Renee, had been no pickle while I was growing up, either.

_Pickle. Tee hee._

"And you must be Bella!" No sooner had these words left Elizabeth's lips and I was wrapped in as tight of a hug as a six months pregnant woman could be comfortable with.

"Oh!" I exclaimed in surprise, gently hugging her back. "Yeah, that's me."

She let go of me and held me at arm's length. "You are so beautiful, darling. I'm so glad that my pickle chose you."

Now it was my turn to flush crimson. "Oh, well, he didn't pick me, per se -"

Edward interrupted my embarrassing confession. "How about we get out of here? We can go back to my house. And I can make us dinner. Bella, you're hungry. Right?"

He was obviously desperate to get us out of there. I looked at my watch and grinned. "Oh yeah, it's three pm. Totally dinner time."

I was obviously going to play along. That didn't mean that I couldn't have fun at Edward's expense though.

"Well, I mean … I thought that maybe …"

_Aww. It's too cute watching him get all flustered._

I bumped his arm with my shoulder. "I'm kidding, Edward. I'm actually quite starving, so dinner sounds great. Besides, Elizabeth's probably getting hungry now too, right? It's much later in New York then it is in Washington."

Elizabeth nodded. "I am quite hungry, actually. Oh, and Bella, dear? Please, call me mom. No need for first name formalities. We're family now."

I looked at Edward and raised an eyebrow. I had a feeling that he was withholding some information from his mother. Some very important information, in fact.

Edward quickly looked away, obviously hiding something from me as well.

As the minutes ticked on, the simple fact that he had kept something as a secret from me that obviously involved me started getting under my skin. The more I thought about it, the more I got upset. As soon as Elizabeth stepped away to get her luggage, I grabbed Edward's arm before he was able to walk away and help his mom.

"Family, Edward? Why does your mom have the impression that we are family?"

"Well, you see, uh …" He paused, trying to drag out the inevitable or stumbling for the right words, I wasn't sure.

I ground my teeth together. "Spit it out, we don't have much time before your mom comes back or needs your help."

"Well, the thing is, she, uhm, thinks that we're serious."

"Serious? Like, s_erious_ly in trouble? I'm not sure I'm following you."

Edward ran a hand through his hair and waved to his mom, who was still waiting for her luggage to appear. "No, Bella. She thinks that we are together, and we are serious. She thinks we are only steps away from getting engaged."

"What?" I was unable to completely comprehend what the hell Edward was saying to me.

"I said, she thinks we're basically engaged."

His face was pained and flushed an even deeper shade of red than before.

"Why would your mother think that?"

"Because … that's what I told her."

"Why would you tell her that? Because you felt pressured to tell her that you were 'taking care of me' or something?" I rested my hand on my belly and started rubbing it, which was something I'd taken to doing lately when I was stressed. "Seriously, why the hell would you do that? Do you think that I'm going to run off and leave you without any rights right now? Because I swear to you, I don't intend on doing anything like that. Ever. So your mom doesn't have to think that you are marrying me to keep the baby in the family!"

"It's not that." Edward looked like he was struggling for words, and I felt bad for him. _Almost._

"Then what the hell, Edward? Didn't you think that would be a lot of pressure to put on me?"

"Pressure on _you?_" he exclaimed, his voice getting bitter but not raising enough to have his mother question what we were talking about. She was still standing by the luggage, happily looking for her pieces to come down the conveyor belt. "How the hell do you think I feel?"

I held back the urge to slap him. "Well, having to lie that we are serious when we aren't even dating, I'd imagine that the pressure's pretty intense."

I started tasting bile, and I was surprised there was anything left in my stomach after all the puking I had done just a short while ago. I had to get out of there, the tension that was rolling off me couldn't be good for the baby.

"I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking …"

"No, you weren't. I've gotta go, Edward. I'll call Ro to come get me, okay? Have fun with your mom, and please tell her that it was wonderful to meet her."

"Please, Bella. Please, don't leave."

"I have to. This stress can't be good for the baby." I turned to leave and hoped that I'd make it to the bathroom before I broke down.

Seeing the look of desperation and disappointment on his face when he told me what he lied to his mom about was the equivalent of getting kicked in the nuts. If I were a man. Or if I had nuts. Whichever.

He reached out an arm and grabbed onto me, holding me in place. "So stay with me. I promise to keep everything stress-free. I'll cook you dinner, and give you a foot massage, and rub that little spot in your back that drives you nuts."

As good as that sounded, I shook my head no. "I don't think that's a good idea, considering the fact that your mom thinks that I'll most likely be her daughter-in-law someday. She's gonna be observing me, and making sure that I'm good enough for you, and we both know that isn't the case. So this is a bad idea. I'm just a baby mama …"

"Fuck, Bella. How can you say stuff like that? Is it because your pregnancy brain clouds your judgement? So help me God, you better not believe that kind of shit.

"Let me handle my mom, okay? I'll get this straightened out. I promise. Just, please, don't walk away from me. Stay and have dinner with me. An early dinner, but one to hopefully make up for the lunch that you spent the last few hours puking up."

"This is such a bad idea, on so many levels." I was actually considering his offer.

"Since when is something that we do together a bad idea?"

I saw a hint of a grin playing on his lips. He, like me, liked to joke around when things got tense. It was one of the things that I loved about him.

"Uh, where to even start with that question?" I rubbed my chin, pretending to seriously contemplate my answer to him. "Oh, I got it! How about when we accidentally got pregnant?"

Edward's pseudo-playful mood transformed into something serious once more. "That was the best idea I'd ever had. The idea that lead to something that changed my life for the better in more ways than I can even tell you. The something made me want to be … better."

I stared at him for a moment. As beautiful of a proclamation as that was, something about it still sat funny with me. Was he serious? I mean, he'd said it before, but pretty words didn't make something true.

I decided to drop it, and make the best of the situation by poking fun at Edward. Humor was my favorite defense mechanism by far.

I exaggeratedly rolled my eyes before elbowing him in grand 'delayed reaction' form. "You are such a cheese ball, Cullen. You didn't have to resort to saying stuff like that, you know? I'll come back with you, and pretend to be your 'almost fiance' … but only 'cause you're feeding me. And 'cause I'm not in the mood to wait for Rose to give me a ride home. Oh, and don't forget about the back and foot rub."

He looked relieved but still pained. I wanted to wring his neck.

"Stop with the mood swings, Edward. I said I'll come back with you, don't make me regret letting you off the hook so easily. If you don't stop being all emo, I might have to force you to pretend propose to me in front of your mom." I chuckled. "That would be hilarious, actually, watching you try to struggle your way out of that one."

"You wouldn't." He smiled a little brighter.

"Oh yes I would. Don't call my bluff, or you'll be sorry."

"I'll be sorry, huh? Well then, Isabella Marie Swan, will you marry me?" If he wasn't being all ridiculous, it would have been nice to pretend that he was serious.

But he was laughing, and I couldn't even have my little moment there. Jerk.

I hit him in the arm again. "Stop it, smartass. I'm not kidding."

Edward's eyes shone. "Who said I was kidding?"

"Har har. You are really funny. Where's Elizabeth? I hope she's hearing this right now, _Pickle_."

"Hearing what, my dear?" Elizabeth questioned from behind me, surprising me and causing me to jump a mile out of my skin.

"It's nothing, mom. Bella's just surprised daily by how gentlemanly I am."

Elizabeth seemed appeased. I smirked an evil little half smile at her naivete.

"Gentlemanly, my ass," I said under my breath, just loud enough for Edward to hear me. He chuckled and grabbed my hand before reaching down and lifting some of his mother's luggage with his other hand.

"Right this way, ladies," he said as he started to walk towards the exit. "Spaghetti sound good for dinner?"

XXX

I was fed and sated for the time being.

Dinner was a fun affair - I was able to tell some stories about "Seattle Edward" and Elizabeth told me a few stories about "New York" Edward.

Honestly, the two Edwards were the same person - gentle, caring, sweet, and a little rambunctious. In other words, _perfect._

Elizabeth was surprisingly very easy to talk to. Well, in all honesty, I shouldn't have been surprised that she was as easy going as she felt - after all, she was Edward's mother.

After dinner, I wandered over to Edward's couch while he and his mother stayed in the kitchen to do dishes. Edward insisted that I go lay down and leave the dirty work to him and his mom - apparently, they were used to bonding over dishes.

My nickname for Edward's mom was June Cleaver.

Once I got myself comfortably situated onto my side (which was the only way I was allowed to lay, according to my doctor), I found myself slowly drifting to sleep.

I started dreaming that I was able to overhear Edward and his mother talking while cleaning up the kitchen. Which was a weird dream if you ask me, but I unfortunately couldn't control my dreams, you know?

_"She's perfect for you, Pickle," Elizabeth said._

_"I know, mom. Trust me, I know."_

_"So when are you going to propose to her? A girl like that won't wait for you forever."_

_"I … I don't know. I'm still so nervous she's going to reject me."_

_"I brought your grandmother's ring in case you wanted to use it. Or part of it. Your father and I had it appraised a few years ago when you were still dating Tanya, just in case, and it would be really easy to just use the main diamond from the ring and make Bella her own, one-of-a-kind piece of jewelry."_

_There was a moment of silence that passed through the two of them._

_"Tanya? Really, Mom?"_

_"We weren't sure, Edward. We wanted to be on the safe side though, just in case. And now that you have Bella, I'm really glad that we already did our homework."_

_Another moment of silence passed._

_"I'm glad too, but I just … I don't know what's gonna happen with Bella."_

_"What do you mean, pickle?"_

_Edward let out a sigh. "It's complicated."_

_"I can do complicated. Lay it on me."_

_"I don't even know where to start. And to be perfectly honest with you, I don't really want to share this with you, if you wouldn't mind. I just wouldn't hold your breath on Bella being 'Mrs Cullen' any time soon."_

_"If you don't want to talk about it right now, that's fine. Just understand that your father and I find it completely admirable that you want to eventually make an honest woman out of Bella. And oh, Pickle, is she ever lovely! I couldn't have asked for anyone better for you, or for my unborn granddaughter. I know I said it before, and I'm not kidding. She's the kind of daughter I've always wanted, always dreamed of. And so pretty, too! You never told me how much of a natural beauty she was."_

_Edward let out a chuckle. I pictured him rubbing the back of his neck by this point. "Yeah, she's gorgeous. She was wearing makeup earlier today, because she wanted to make a good impression on you. But what she ate for lunch upset her stomach, and she ended up puking up everything, which ruined her makeup. She was so devastated that her perfectly made-up face had to be wiped away. Though, to be honest, I feel like she's more beautiful without the makeup."_

_I think I started to smile. At least, it felt like that's what I was doing in my dream. _

_Even dream Edward was a cheese ball._

_"She wanted to make a good impression on me, huh? What a silly girl. I loved her before I even met her."_

_"I told her that, but she wouldn't listen."_

_"You know, at least she isn't so self-confident that she doesn't care what others think because she knows that her shit don't stink. Right?"_

_"Oh, Mom. You have such a way with words." I could hear Edward smiling as he said this, his voice sounded so happy._

_I sighed. I liked when Edward was happy._

My dream morphed into something different then, and Edward and Elizabeth's voices disappeared. The next thing that I remembered, Edward was carrying me to his bedroom.

"Edward?" My voice was thick with sleep.

"Shhh, babe. I've got you. I'm just going to bring you to my bed, okay?"

"K."

The idea of sleeping in Edward's bed while his mom was visiting gave me happy butterflies. I was so content at that time, and I snuggled a little deeper into Edward's arms.

He smelled so good.

Edward reached his bedroom and nudged the door open with his toes, all the while mindful to not hit me on the door or the frame.

"My Prince Charming," I mumbled into his shoulder. He chuckled before placing me down onto the edge of his mattress.

"Do you need to change? I kept the clothes that you like in the top drawer right over there."

"K. Toothbrush?"

"In the bathroom. Along with a hair brush and showering supplies for tomorrow in case you don't want to go home right away."

"I live down the street, Edward."

"I know. I just wanted you to feel at home here. With me."

I smiled sleepily, feeling the happy tingles bubble up in my tummy again.

Edward returned my smile. "Let me know if there's anything you need, okay?"

Something was tugging at the back of my mind, still foggy from sleep. "Yeah. Oh, hey, before I forget?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you know someone namedTanya?" I asked, remembering her name from my dream but feeling that there was some kind of importance that went along with it.

His eyebrows raised in surprise. "Tanya? Why do you ask?"

I frowned and rubbed my eyes. "Not sure. Just curious, I guess?"

"An ex. The one from college that I introduced to my mom. Someone completely in my past."

_An ex?_

_How odd that I dreamed of Edward and Elizabeth talking about a Tanya when a Tanya really did exist in Edward's past._

_I must be psychic._

Edward sensed that I was lost in my head for a moment. He started rubbing my arms before placing a quick kiss on my forehead.

"Is everything ok?"

"Yeah. Just … tired, I guess. And I'm remembering some kind of weird dream, where you talked about a Tanya. Odd, right?"

"Yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Odd."

"Alrighty. I'm gonna change and go to bed. You'll come back here when you're ready to sleep, right?"

"Of course."

I watched as he walked out of his bedroom. He was carrying himself differently, like he was on edge or worried about something.

Edward was acting weird. I was just too tired to get to the bottom of it.

_There's always tomorrow._

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**E/N: As usual, reviews get teasers. I hope that I was able to respond to all of your reviews - I'm so touched that so many people left one last week!**

**There won't be an update next Wednesday - it will be next TUESDAY instead! YAY! It's my birthday next Thursday and my wonderful hubby is taking me to CHICAGO! (Yay! I'm so excited!) I won't be around my computer Wed-Fri, so you guys are getting an early update. It's 'cause I adore you all so much!**

**Thanks so much for reading. I'm so happy that people are still reading this story!**

**(And, because I'm in one of those moods today - thank you for the reviews, alerts and favorites. You all make me smile like you wouldn't believe!)**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:**  
**Welcome to chapter twelve of At Last! By this point, I'm pretty sure you know that I'm eternally grateful to Detochkina, who is my beta-savior. I should probably give her co-author status, considering how much editing that poor woman has to do for me, but I think that I'll save that judgement for her (hey, R! Whaddya say, you my co-author? ;) ).**

**Special thanks to MizzezPattinson and Coldplaywhore for reading this and being like, "eh, it isn't GARBAGE, per se …" (heh heh.)**

**We've hit over 300 reviews, folks. Consider me stunned! I never thought that I'd break 100, so 300? Gah, I'm so happy. You guys are the best!**

**Well here it is, folks! Your special Tuesday installment of At Last. No, I haven't changed my updating schedule to Tuesdays, I'm just doing it today because I'm gonna be outta town for the rest of the weekend. Next update will be next Wednesday.**

**As always, I don't own Twilight. If I did, I'd make Bella into a sassy potty mouth. Just sayin' ...**

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**Chapter Twelve - Christmas Is The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year. Especially When You're Pregnant, And Able To Eat Everything In Sight.**

Time flew by, and before I knew it, it was Christmas Eve and we were at the airport, saying goodbye to Edward's mom.

Maybe it was because of my hormones, or the odd bond that I'd formed with her, but it was hard to say goodbye to Elizabeth.

She was quirky but cooked awesome meals and razzed Edward every chance she got. "Pickle" loved having his mom tell all of the embarrassing stories from his youth.

Like how toddler Edward would take all of his clothes off - including his shoes and socks - when he had to poop. Elizabeth said that she knew that she had to get him to the toilet quick when she caught him running around naked at a department store.

I laughed so hard that I almost peed my pants when I heard that story. Which was scary, to be honest. For a moment there, I actually thought I was gonna piss myself.

Even though Mrs. Cullen seemed to live to embarrass her son, it became glaringly obvious that she honestly lived for Edward. At the end of the day, after all the teasing and kisses and hugs and "Pickle" calling, she wanted what any mother wanted: for her son to be happy.

Before she left, she quickly pulled me aside and gave me an extra tight hug. "Take care of him," she said as she squeezed my arms. "I'll be back as soon as my granddaughter arrives. It'll be sooner than you know it."

It was then that she slipped me a piece of paper with her name and phone number on it. "I know my son, and I know how thick-headed he can be. Give me a call if you ever need to talk, or … whatever."

I smiled and grabbed the paper before stuffing it in my back pocket. "That sounds great, Elizabeth."

"How many times do I have to tell you? Call me Mom."

I gave her one last hug and wished more than anything that I one day could call her mom and not feel guilty about it. I pushed that feeling aside and plastered a smile on my face as she pulled away from me and squeezed my hand.

"Soon, Bella. I'll see you soon." She reached a hand out and rubbed my belly. "And I'll meet _you_soon, my beautiful granddaughter."

Little tears welled up in my eyes as I reached forward to hug Elizabeth once more.

Her eyes appeared to be watery, but she looked away from me as soon as she could. Enveloping her son in another hug, her whispered some words close to his ear. He nodded in response and squeezed her extra tight before letting her go.

Hand in hand, we watched her walk away. I turned to Edward as my curiosity got the best of me.

"What did your mom say to you right before she left?"

Edward continued staring off into the distance, seemingly in a trance of some sort. I snapped my fingers in front of his face, trying to get his attention.

"Huh? What did you say?"

"I said, what did your mom say to you before she left?"

"Well, uh …" He paused, obviously not wanting to tell me about their conversation.

"Hey, no big deal. It was personal and stuff. I mean, I don't want to tell you what we talked about, either." I smiled, pretending that I was hiding a secret, too.

He took a deep breath before answering. "She told me to make you mine. To make sure you don't slip through my fingers."

Judging by the look Edward had on his face, he wasn't happy about her suggestion. I quickly back-peddled to cover my ass.

"Hey, I didn't mean to make you tell me, especially if it was something that bothered you. I'm sorry, Edward."

"It's … it's okay." He squeezed my hand he was still holding. "Wanna get going? I have to be over to my aunt and uncle's house soon."

My heart dropped, sad that Edward wanted to go already and drop the conversation. "Yeah, oh. Uhm, sure."

Even I heard the disappointment in my voice, so I quickly tried to cover my tracks. "Rose is probably expecting me, anyway."

"Why does that sound like it depresses you?"

I resisted the urge to glare at him.

_No, you dolt! Seeing my best friend doesn't depress me. Leaving this conversation with things still unsaid is what upsets me. _I wanted to punch him for being so unobservant, but instead, I kept my cool and fibbed a little.

"It doesn't depress me, I'm just- tired. Yeah, tired."

"Oh. Well, we better get you home, right?"

"I guess so."

XXX

"Bella, for chrissakes, slow down! The food will still be here if you take a breather from shoveling it down your throat!"

I stopped chewing and swallowed the food that was in my mouth. "I know, Ro. It's just-"

I reached for another wheat roll and got my hand slapped by my best friend. "Seriously, babe. Stop stress-eating. You're giving me heartburn just watching you."

I gingerly tucked my hand close to my body before wiping my hand on my napkin. _Eewwww, I got butter all over the front of my shirt. I feel like a fat pig right now._

"You aren't a fat pig, B. You're pregnant, and stressed, and our traditionally catered Christmas spread is right in front of you. So you're doing the only thing you can think of doing, which is eat."

"Did I -"

"Yeah, you said that last part out loud," Rosalie said, interrupting me.

"God, if I were with anyone but you, I'd be embarrassed."

Rose stuck her tongue out at me. "You should be embarrassed. You have crumbs _alllllll_over your face right now. I think I'm going to take a picture and send it to Edward."

I frantically wiped at my face. "You wouldn't. You don't even have his phone number."

"True. But I have Alice's number, who has Edward's number. So it would take a few extra steps, but I'd be willing to do it."

I frowned at her. She smiled.

"Hold on," she said, putting up a finger and looking down at the table. "Oh, yep. Now I've got this number. Smile for the camera, babe!"

Apparently her phone was under the table, and she was able to successfully acquire Edward's cell number. My stomach dropped, and I started to panic.

"What?" I asked, just as the click of her phone camera went off, signifying that she'd, indeed, taken a picture of me.

"Just- gotta- oh, there we go. Sent!"

I pushed myself away from the table, which was no easy task, considering how much time it took me to move myself back. I waddled over to Rose in fast fashion.

"Give me your phone, and no one gets hurt."

"Pshhh. I could outrun you, beotch." Rosalie jibed, knowing just how to tease me.

"Try me. I've got the pregnant force with me, I'd get your ass eventually."

"I'm not giving you my phone, Bella. The damage is done, Edward knows how much he affects you when he isn't with you."

It was at that moment that my phone buzzed.

It was a text message from Edward.

_**Call me as soon as you can.**_

"Goddammit, Rosalie Hale! What the fuck did you do?"

"I told you, I texted Edward."

"Yeah, well, whatever you said in that text has him contacting me now. Give me your phone, or I will _make _you give me your phone. I need to see what you said to him."

She timidly held her phone out for me to grab. I yanked it away from her, not even feeling the least bit remorseful about the force that I used to take it away.

Yeah, I was acting like a child, but I felt like I was justified. Rosalie was messing with my baby daddy, and by extension, she was messing with me. Rose may be my best friend in the whole world, but she better never mess with my family. _I'll go mama bear on her._

"You know, it wasn't too long ago that you considered me your family. Your inner circle."

I didn't have a way to answer her. I mean, what was I going to say to that?

_Yeah, I moved you one tiny layer outside my inner circle the moment I became pregnant?_

Nah, that sounded a little insensitive, considering the fact that for the last five years, Rose and I have considered each other sisters. And because she has all but disowned her brother since he became a drug dealer and her parents passed away a few years ago in a car accident, I was all she had since her divorce from Royce.

I felt guilty for not trusting her and handed Rose her phone back.

"You don't have to feel bad, babe," Rose said, interrupting my thoughts. "I can't blame you. We're talking about your child here. I expect you to always put her needs before mine."

Guilty tears welled up in my eyes and I nodded.

"Hey, Bel. Don't cry, okay? I was just joking around with you. Here," she said, handing her phone back to me. "This is the picture I sent Edward."

It was a picture that Rosalie and I took as soon as I arrived at her house. We were happy, so friggin happy to see each other.

Rosalie may not be part of my very inner circle anymore due to the layer that was added right in the middle of it, but she'd always hold one of the places closest to my heart.

"I just wanted him to know what he could have joined in on."

Just below the picture that she sent him was a text bubble.

_**Merry Christmas from Hale and Swan x2**_

"That's … really sweet." I bit my lip, willing myself not to cry. "But Edward and I decided that our baby's last name won't be Swan. It'll be Cullen, just like her daddy."

Rosalie smiled. "I figured as much. I just wanted to get a rise out of Edward."

"God, you are such a bitch." I laughed and wiped tears away that had escaped from my eyes. "But I love you, bitchiness and all."

"I love you, too."

XXX

Again. His phone went straight to voicemail.

_Grrrrr._

I hadn't been able to get a hold of Edward after he texted me because he received Rosalie's picture text, regardless of the fact that he asked me to call him back right away, and it was seriously starting to drive me up the wall. Be it the pregnancy hormones, or just plain crabbiness, it was irritating me to no end that I couldn't reach him.

I was on my way home, and decided to try Edward one more time. Once more, Edward's phone rang once and went to his answering machine, and I had to literally fight the urge to throw my phone onto the car seat next to me.

"Whatever. He isn't answering his phone? Then I'll just have to stop by his house on my way home." I patted my belly.

I knew how crazy I looked, not to mention how crazy I sounded, but ever since I felt my baby move a few weeks ago, I'd taken to talking to her whenever we were alone. I wanted her to get used to my voice and the sound of me talking to her, because I was a talker …

And the sooner she got used to my voice, the better.

I pulled onto our street and drove by my house en-route to Edward's.

I slowed down by his house out of instinct. I was glad that I was able to, because if I had pulled into his driveway as fast as I had wanted to, I would have hit the woman who was standing in his driveway.

And Edward. I would have hit Edward, too, because he was hugging said woman.

In the middle of his driveway. Edward was hugging a woman. In his driveway. A woman who wasn't me.

Although I'd driven down my road thousands of times, I had to swerve to miss hitting Edward's neighbor's mailbox. My stomach, although it was a key element for me as a pregnant woman, fell to the ground, and I suddenly got light-headed.

Luckily for me, neither of them noticed my drive-by or almost-accident.

Instead of being thankful that I hadn't harmed myself or my baby, the only thought that was going through my head was, _so that's why Edward didn't answer my phone calls. He was too busy, entertaining another woman to pick up his phone._

I was a fool to think that he'd wait around for me. If he wanted to make me his, he would've done so already, especially considering how much his mom not-so-subtly prodded him to do so.

Bile rose to my throat. Somehow in my haze, I had navigated my car back to my house, accident-free. Opening my car door, I dashed inside my house. _Well, dashed as fast as my fat ass could handle._

Reaching the bathroom, I bent down and emptied the contents of the Christmas spread that Rosalie and I had catered - and I consumed like a rabid animal - into the toilet.

* * *

**E/N: Yeah, it's kind of a cliffie. Only one this story will have, I think? Anyways, remember that this story is romance and HUMOR, not drama, angst, or hurt/comfort.**

**This story was rec'ced in a BIG WAY this morning, and if someone wants to let me know who did it so I can thank them, that would be amahhhzing. )**

**Leave me a review and I'll give you a teaser for the next chapter. I hope that I was able to respond to all the reviews I got the last chapter - it's not that I can't keep up with the numbers, it's just that I FORGET WHO I REPLY TO SOMETIMES (not only am I pregnant, but I'm blond, too. I'm a walking stereotype at this point in my life, I swear). If, for some reason, you don't get a teaser, feel free to slap me around. I know that I missed some of the reviews that I've gotten in the last few days - thank you to all of you who left them, and I'm still planning on responding to them. HONEST!**

**And because I won't be in town (my birthday is this Thursday, thank you to all of you who have already wished me a happy birthday!), I won't be able to reply to reviews/PMs until Saturday. But fret not! I will respond to everyone as soon as I can!**

_**Thank you for reading/reviewing/favoriting/alerting/rec'cing this story. You all make me smile like you wouldn't believe.**_


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Welcome to chapter thirteen of At Last! I think that this thirteen is a lucky number … just sayin' …**

**SO I suck. I'm so sorry to the reviews that I wasn't able to reply to last chapter. I figured that the reviewers that didn't get a teaser would rather get an entire chapter … am I right? I hope so. I'm so sorry you guys - I ran out of time, plain and simple. I tried to finish up the replies last night, but I fell asleep like the lame-o pregnant woman I am.**

**This story is totally fictional. None of these situations happened in real life, to me or anyone that I know. I've tried to make ordinary situations FUNNY, and in doing so, I've exaggerated some things. **

**Special thanks to MizzezPattinson and Coldplaywhore for rec'ing and pimping this story out. And for giving me advice when I need it! Detochkina, this story is still 100% dedicated to you. Hormonal craziness and all! I heart you big time - like, way more than you know! Missus T, a huge THANK YOU to you for getting this story more reviews than I've ever gotten, EVER. You're the best!**

**Now, without further ado, on with the story!**

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen - Is It Possible To Suffer From A Food Hangover? I Think It Is. Even Though It's Been A Long Time Since I've Had An Actual Hangover, This Feels Really Familiar.**

After puking out whatever Christmas foods I could, I dressed myself in my comfiest sweats and snuggled into my blankets.

There was nothing that I could do about the situation with Edward, so I decided to lose myself in my sorrow and snuggle in bed for the next ten days or so.

I mean, I had takeout menus and ice cream at my disposal and no plans in the distant future, my bed was all I needed.

Not to mention I was a coward. A huge, pregnant coward.

I grabbed my weird pregnancy pillow (you know, the pillow that was shaped like an "s" to fit around the odd contours of a pregnant body) that Alice got me and lay on my side.

_Sleep. I need to just … sleep this all away._

And sleep I did, though it was obvious that I couldn't just out-sleep my problems.

They were there for me when I woke up.

XXX

I awoke to the sound of someone pounding on my door. By the time that I rolled out of bed, the pounding had graduated to a frantic speed.

The knocking on my door was giving me a headache, so I answered the door without thinking.

Of course my carelessness came back to bite me in the ass. Standing in front of me, dressed in a black sweater and obviously freshly showered, was Edward.

My heart started pumping faster before I remembered what I saw the night before. Then it started pumping out a very sad rhythm, which sounded a lot like, _not yours. Not yours. Not yours._

"Edward, uhm." I struggled as I self-consciously adjusted the sweatshirt that I was wearing. "What are you doing here?"

His eyebrows knit together as he frowned. "Well, I thought that we'd do something together, since we didn't get to see each other much yesterday."

I ran a hand through my tangled hair and grimaced when I realized how messy it must have been. "Nah, I don't think so. I'll just stay in and order in some food or something."

_Blech, if I can eat food. I feel like crap right now._

"But it's Christmas, Bella." He mimicked my gesture and ran a hand through his own hair. It was freakish how much alike we were sometimes.

"So? All the more reason to stay in. Maybe I can catch some Christmas episodes on TV. You know, find me the 'Family Ties' episode where Michael J Fox does his best impression of Scrooge or whatever. Oh, or maybe watch a couple hours of 'A Christmas Story.' The options are endless."

"I want to introduce you to my Aunt and Uncle."

I rolled my eyes as I tried to ignore the stabbing pain that I felt when I imagined Edward hugging the woman in his driveway last night. "On Christmas? Why?"

His face fell at my question. "Because I want to spend Christmas with my family."

I fought the urge to cry. He really had no idea that I saw him last night, and his innocent act was killing me. "So spend it with your family."

"Bella -"

I was losing the war against the tears. They were pricking at my eyes, threatening to fall. I had to get rid of Edward as fast as I possibly could.

"I gotta go." I tried to shut the door in Edward's face, but he grabbed it and pushed it back open.

"No. I'm not leaving here, Bella. Not until you tell me what's wrong."

I shook my head, tears streaming down my face. "Nuh- no- nothing. Nothing's … wrong."

He pushed forward and cradled my head in his hands, using his thumbs to wipe away my tears. The tender gesture made me cry harder.

I loved this man so much it hurt.

"There's something wrong, baby. Tell me what it is."

I shook my head, fighting the urge to pull him close.

_Another woman pulled him close last night, _I reminded myself. _Get yourself together, Isabella._

I shuddered. I had just chided myself using my full name. I _hated _my full name.

Who _was_I anymore? There I was, trying to keep myself together to not hurt a man who may or may not care that he was hurting me. Old Bella would have called him out on it.

But new Bella loved this man. She loved him so much, it made her heart clench just thinking about him, and she didn't want to hurt him anymore than she wanted to cut her own arm off.

Our baby chose that moment to kick me, so hard that I doubled over.

_That felt much stronger than just a kick._

"Oh, fucking ow, that hurt." I gasped, holding my abdomen.

Edward had one arm wrapped around me, the other arm held his cell phone. He seemed to be talking to someone on it, because I couldn't hear him.

My head was too busy thinking thoughts of, _oh my God, it's too early, _to really concentrate on what Edward was doing.

Before I knew it, he had lifted me into the air and was walking me into my bedroom. Carefully depositing me onto my bed, Edward paused for a moment and then climbed into bed with me.

He brushed a strand of hair out of my face and carefully massaged my stomach. His massage moved from my tummy to my legs, causing me to giggle.

Not sure how I was able to giggle in a stressful moment like that, but his hands had a way with my body.

"Glad to see you smile, Bella." He moved closer and pressed a kiss on my forehead. "Mind telling me why you had a panic attack?"

"That … no, that wasn't a panic attack."

"Oh really? What was it then?"

"Uhm, that was … Well, I'm no doctor, you know. But. I think. The baby reminding me she was there."

"I see." He moved me back so I was laying on his chest. I didn't _want _to be pressed so close, but it felt so damn good that I didn't want to move.

Or something like that.

"Yeah. That's what happened."

"She may have been reminding you that she was there but only to tell you to calm down and relax for a second. You being stressed out isn't good for the baby, Bella. Now, please tell me what's wrong. It isn't like you to hide things from me."

I pouted, even though he couldn't see me. I folded my arms in front of my body indignantly. "I hide plenty from you."

"Well, I hope that isn't true." He ran his hands up my arms and unfolded them. "Though, you know, you do fart in front of me when you think that I won't notice. So if you can fart around me, I'm sure you aren't hiding many secrets from me."

My face flushed. _Well shit. _"But I do have secrets."

"So share them."

"No fuggin way." _Not after what I saw last night._

"What did you see last night?" Edward was making it painfully obvious that I had shared that last little bit out loud instead of just thinking it.

"Nothing. I didn't see anything."

"You're lying to me, Bella."

"No I'm not, _Edward._"

"Please tell me the truth."

"I am." _Ouch! _The baby kicked me again, this time pressing on my bladder, making it known that she was listening to me lie.

"Calm yourself down, Bella. You need to calm down, because you are stressing the baby out, and I don't want to have to bring you down to the hospital. Okay?"

"Shut up, Pickle. Or should I say Mr. Know-It-All?"

"No need to get feisty, I'm just trying to figure you out. Last time we talked, you and I were fine. Then I show up today, and you are having a panic attack at the sight of me. Something happened last night, don't deny it. Something that's making you scared to be around me."

"No."

He sighed, the deep breath he took tickled me as he exhaled. "I almost don't want to ask, but did you meet someone else, Bella?"

I almost laughed out loud, but the sound of someone knocking at my door stopped me.

"I'll go get it. I'm pretty sure it's Carlisle."

"Wait, what? Your uncle is here?"

"Do you know any other Carlisle's?"

"Yeah, four actually." I kicked Edward in the shin. Lightly, of course, but it was a kick, nonetheless.

He rolled his eyes.

"I mean, I might be telling the truth. Maybe this new boyfriend that you somehow think I had time to acquire is named Carlisle. 'Cause that name is just way freakin' sexy."

"Don't make fun of my uncle's name. And it isn't funny to joke about having a boyfriend."

"Why not? You think it's okay for you to have a girlfriend and not the other way around?"

"What are you -"

Edward was cut off by another pound on my front door.

"You better get that. Since it's obviously for you," I said, rolling off Edward and cuddling up next to my pillow again. I ignored the empty feeling I felt when Edward left my bed and closed my eyes instead.

I heard someone walk into my room a few moments later, and I tried to ignore them. I mean, I didn't ask for someone to come over, so I figured that if I ignored them, they'd go away.

I just wanted to be left alone.

I listened to the sounds of another person enter my room, and I heard Edward sigh.

"So you think the pain she felt might have just been gas? I was thinking that, too, but I wanted to make sure."

"Just monitor her," a man whose voice I'd never heard before replied. "If it's something more serious, we'll know soon enough."

I kept my eyes closed and pretended to sleep. I even let a small snore slip, hopeful that my rouse was believable.

It seemed to have worked, because I heard both people leave my room. I let out a small sigh of relief before I heard a throat clear next to me.

"Your fake sleeping act may have fooled my uncle, but to someone who knows what you sound like when you are actually sleeping, I knew you were faking."

"No … sleeping."

"Stop it, Bella. Tell me what's going on. Now, please."

"Nothing's going on. Apparently I have gas, so you can stop worrying about me. You better leave the room for your own sake, anyway."

My joke fell flat, and Edward's jaw clenched in frustration. "Knock it off_ right now._First of all, this evasiveness is starting to really grate my nerves. And secondly, Jesus, Bella. You know that I'll always worry about your well-being. To suggest otherwise is just a fucking insult."

It was obvious that Edward was getting pissed at me. Which, of course, was causing my stupid-bitch-hormones to kick into overdrive.

I glared at him. "Get out of my house."

"Absolutely not. I'm not leaving until you tell me what's going on."

"Really? You want to mess with the daughter of a cop? I know just what to say to the police to not only have you arrested for … assault or something … but also have you detained. Yeah."

I had no idea what I was talking about, but Edward didn't have to know that.

"I'll take my chances." He scooted closer to me. "I'm not leaving you."

"You want to be arrested? You want to have to tell our daughter that her mother had her father arrested."

"Like I said, I'll take my chances. I'd rather get arrested for sticking to my guns than run away like a flake."

"Flakes don't run. They'd … flake away more or something."

He pursed his lips. "That's what you took away from what I just said? The fact that flakes literally can't run away?"

I nodded, and Edward scratched the back of his neck before he burst out laughing.

"See? That. That right there, Bella, reminds me that you and I …"

I rolled my hand along, urging him to continue. "You and I are what, exactly?"

He grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "Are you sure you want me to say it? After the mood you've been in so far today?"

"You know what? After the night I had last night, I don't think that you could really surprise me-" _or hurt me. _"-anymore than you already have."

He shook his head. "Now you have to tell me what you are talking about."

"No way. Tell me what you were gonna say to me first."

"I don't want to use this as a bargaining chip to get you to tell me what's wrong."

"Then don't. Go home, to whoever's waiting for you. Maybe you could knock _her _up, and she could birth you a daughter so you could leave me and our child alone."

Pain flashed across his face. "That's what you want? Me to disappear?"

"I thought I made it obvious when I ignored you before you even officially moved here."

"You don't mean that." He dropped his hand from my own, pulling it towards his body as though it were wounded.

"I sure as heck do." I choked out, barely able to stop myself from crying.

The baby kicked me again, calling me out on my lie. _Again._

Edward's face was a mask of sadness. It made my insides churn, and another sharp pain stabbed through my insides.

No matter what I said to him earlier, I couldn't erase the fact that he cared about me and our unborn child. Edward gripped my arm in worry.

"What's wrong, Bella?"

"Another gas pain." I winced, feeling another kick, along with another gas pain.

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

The sad look was joined by a look of worry. It melted my frigid, bitchier-than-thou heart into telling a little bit of truth. "Honestly? It seems like the pains are coinciding with me lying to you."

His face softened a little bit. "You get gas when you lie to me?" A chuckle that he'd tried to hide from me slipped through. "Good to know. Good. To. Know."

I slugged him in the arm, not amused at all. _Okay, a little amused. It's kinda funny how my body reacts to him, even down to the little things._

"What did you lie about?" he asked, wrapping his hand around mine once more.

"When I said earlier that I wanted you to leave, that I wished you'd never moved here … that was a lie. I'm glad you moved here."

"I'm glad you're glad I moved here."

"Good."

He squeezed my hand. "So now that we're past that, what the hell were you talking about when you said that you wanted me to go home and knock someone else up?"

"Uh, yeah, about that …" I paused, unsure how to continue.

"I'm listening."

"I know you don't want a future with me. And so I thought that I should give you the 'okay' to continue with someone else if you want."

He shook his head and pursed his lips before dropping his voice. "That's what you honestly think, Bella? Really? After all the time we spend together, after all the affection I show towards you. You think that I don't want you to be in my future?"

I swallowed thickly. "I'm sure you want me to be in your future. You just … don't want me to _be _your future."

"So you think that I want to be friends with you, and nothing more."

"Yes."

His hand rubbed the back of his neck.

_He's nervous? What is he nervous about?_

"So you think that I don't notice how perfect you are."

I nodded dumbly. "Yeah."

"And you think that I don't realize how perfect you and I are together."

Another nod, as alarm bells rang in my head. _Wait - he thinks we're perfect together? What is he getting at?_

"You think I don't see that you are everything that I have ever wanted, ever?"

Nod. _Wait, what? _

"And you think that I'd rather walk away from you than to make you mine and spend the rest of my life with the person I accidentally created the most amazing future with."

_Gulp. _I had no response to that, no way to acknowledge out loud what Edward was actually saying …

"Well if you think all of that is true, then you're out of your mind, Isabella. I want you, _all of you, _forever. And I'm not walking away from you."

_Oh, holy shit._

_I think I might have just peed myself._

* * *

**E/N: So, whatcha think? Was it everything you thought it was going to (finally!) be?**

***waves to new readers* A reminder that this story updates every Wednesday : )**

**Reviews will get replies/teasers - as long as I'm able to. I promise you guys that it IS a priority to me, because I seriously cherish each and every review (even the ones that criticize me - honestly!)**

**Good news! I didn't think it was gonna happen again, but I guess I can't stop - I have an idea for a new story that I'm gonna write as soon as At Last is done being posted. It's gonna be another light-hearted story … so if you're interested in my brand of "humor" (I put that in quotes because whether or not I'm funny is yet to be determined), put me on alert : )**

**Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU again to all of you who read/review/alert/favorite this story. And another special THANK YOU to those of you rec'ing this story! I wouldn't have NEARLY the readers I have (*waves to you all*) if it weren't for you!**

**You're all amazing. See you next Wednesday!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Hello to all of my lovely readers! Guess what? I was fail again with review replies! I'M SO SORRY! I honestly thought I had another day to work on them … AHHH! I feel like the worst author EVER. That being said, I seriously (honestly and truly) appreciate all of your reviews. You guys are the BEST (honestly and truly!)! **

**; )**

**Since it's chapter fourteen and you're still reading, I'm sure that by now you've learned that I like to write a big 'ol THANK YOU to all of the people who have helped me get this far:**

**-Detochkina, darling: thank you so much for holding my hand and correcting all of my (admittedly shitty) mistakes. You're my hero.**  
**-MizzezPattinson: thank you so much for always encouraging me. You've helped me more than you know!**  
**-Coldplaywhore: thank you so much for your continued support. I still feel so super lucky that you somehow found this story and wanted to read it. All of it!**  
**-Missus T: since you mentioned me a little bit at the end of your last chapter update, I've gained some more readers. Again! You're officially a pimp! How does that make you feel? LOL**

**Okay, now on with the story. I've gathered that everyone wants to know who Edward was hugging, huh? I won't hold out on you any longer!**

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**Chapter Fourteen - Is This What It Feels Like To Be In Heaven? 'Cause Heaven Sure Involves A Lot Of Bloating And Constipation And Sleepless Hours. (At Least The Sleepless Hours Are Spent In The Arms Of The Most Wonderful Man Ever.)**

I was having the most wonderful dream, where I was wrapped in Edward's arms and he was nuzzling his face into my hair, telling me how perfect I was.

But I was warm, so very warm. I couldn't help but drift from my dream, intent on figuring out why I was burning up.

I wiggled my butt around before opening up my eyes.

_Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. _I was warm as hell because I was actually wrapped in Edward's arms.

I had fallen asleep in his arms.

_Wait._

I had fallen asleep in his arms?

"Edward!" I whisper-yelled. "Edward, wake up!"

"Bella?" he asked, his voice groggy from sleep.

"Do you realize that you spent the night here? In my bed!"

"Yeah? What's the big deal, baby?" He pulled an arm away from me and rubbed his eyes. "I've done it before."

"I know, but, last night … it wasn't just about the sex."

"Yeah." He smiled. "Last night was different. Very, very different." He tilted his head down and pecked me on the lips.

Shivers ran up and down my spine, and I couldn't suppress my grin. _Good god, is this really possible? That Edward is actually mine?_

_Shit. That sounds cliche._

"Mmm." His kisses increased in intensity, his mouth moving with urgency. "I'd like to think of it the other way. I can't believe that _you _are _mine_."

There I went again, thinking my thoughts out loud.

I pulled back and smiled. "I never knew you were so cheesy," I said, before moving in to kiss him again.

He playfully frowned and scooted away.

"I'm not cheesy."

"You totally are. Don't deny it."

"If I'm cheesy, it's 'cause you make me that way."

I poked his chest. "Don't pin this on me," I said with a smirk.

We were, after all, having our first little "couple-y" argument, and it was adorable.

"I have something I can pin on you."

"Oh, okay. You gotta stop with this cheese-ball humor or I'm gonna piss the bed."

"Hey, that wasn't -"

"Shut it. That totally was cheese ball. Like, it was something that a sixteen year old boy would say very lovingly to his girlfriend of two months."

He shrugged his shoulders and rolled closer to me. I put my hand out to stop him.

"Please don't get any closer. I seriously have to pee."

He sat up in bed and watched as I made my way to my bathroom. Once I was in there, I cursed the fact that my baby girl was resting on my bladder. Even after I peed, I still felt like I had to pee a little more.

It was the worst feeling in the world. Especially since I had Edward laying in my bed, waiting for me to come back to him.

I let out a loud sigh and allowed myself to review the last twenty four hours. They had been completely glorious and honestly some of the best times of my life. Once we both admitted to our feelings, and Edward informed me that the woman I saw him hugging was his _cousin _Bree, we spent the rest of the day and night basically wrapped in each other's arms.

Still, I was pregnant; It wasn't like I could get away with not peeing every hour. There was no way we could have actually spent the whole day in each other's arms. That would just be … gross.

Edward didn't have a problem with the fact that it was Christmas, and that being with me meant he would miss out on family time. He actually insisted I _was _his family now, and nothing else really mattered.

He had a way of making a girl feel really loved.

Even if we hadn't discussed "love" yet.

When his parents called to wish us a merry Christmas, Elizabeth begged to talk to me in private. Edward was a little weary of that but handed his phone over to me anyway.

"Hello?"

"Bella?"

"Hi, Elizabeth." I smiled at the sound of her voice. "Merry Christmas."

"Oh, Merry Christmas to you too, darling! I'm so glad you and Edward are spending the holiday together. If he can't be with us," she said, pausing for a moment, "I'd rather have him be with you."

She started getting emotional, and it was obvious she was choking up. Emotional and I didn't mix, because I tended to take on whatever emotion the other person was feeling.

In this case, crying Elizabeth equaled crying Bella. It was a little distressing, and completely embarrassing, because before I knew it, I was crying for no real reason.

_Damn pregnancy hormones._

The sight of me crying had Edward yanking the phone away from my hands. "Mom? Why are you making my Bella cry?"

_My Bella. He called me his Bella. _A fresh round of tears flooded my eyes, and I let them spill onto my cheeks.

Edward said a quick goodbye to his mom before sitting next to me and pulling me onto his lap. "Shhh, baby. Why are you crying?"

"They're all happy tears, I promise."

"Happy tears?" He brushed a thumb under my eyes.

"Yeah." I sniffled, using my sleeve to wipe my face more. "I'm just … so fucking happy right now."

He wrapped his arm around me tighter. "I am too."

I let a moment of time go by before I raised my hand to run it through Edward's hair. "This is gonna work, isn't it? Us?"

"Well, since I met you, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I can't get you off my mind, Bella. I honestly can't imagine life without you, so … yeah. It's gonna work. _We _will work. You mean more to me than anything else in the world, and I can't imagine that ever changing. Even without a baby on the way."

"People change. My parents changed. They weren't even together for very long before they split up, either."

"We aren't your parents."

"It's not like we started this family on a strong foundation or something. We got pregnant shortly after we met. And I mean _shortly_. You don't have a choice, you're tied to me forever."

He leaned into my hand, obviously enjoying the scalp massage I was giving him. "Even if I had a choice, I wouldn't ask for anything different." He placed a kiss on my forehead. "And even the strongest of foundations need to start somewhere. We have a strong footing started, some good dirt work around the base of our relationship."

"You do realize how cheesy you are sounding right now, right?"

"You're using sarcasm to deflect from the way you really feel."

"Nuh uh."

"Yes."

"Shut up. You don't know me." A smile tugged at my lips. Obviously this man knew me, he knew me better than possibly anyone else in the world. Other than Rose, of course, but she didn't count, because she knew a different side of me. Mainly, a PMSing, crabby and bloated Bella. Which, because I had been pregnant nearly the entire time I'd known him, Edward had yet to meet.

"I know you quite well, thank you very much."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah."

We were getting really good at those back-and-forth kind of worthless arguments.

"I don't think so."

"I do. I know so." He switched things up so he was now giving me a scalp massage. It felt so good, rendering me nearly speechless.

Edward took advantage that I wasn't arguing with him anymore, and continued on. "In fact, I know you so well-" He took a deep breath. "-so well, I think we should move in together."

I jerked my head away from his hands and sat up, maneuvering so I could look him in the eyes.

"Did you seriously just say you think we should move in together? Or did your scalp massage cause me to start hearing voices that sound suspiciously like yours?"

"You heard me right-" Edward said, and when I tried to object, he interrupted me. "Now seriously, babe. Hear me out."

"Don't 'babe' me right now. You may know how much I like the name, but it doesn't give you free reign to say whatever you want, tack a 'baby' on there, and expect me to look at you with goo-goo eyes," I said, looking at him with goo-goo eyes.

_Dammit._

"Think about the logistics, Bella. Once you have the baby, I won't want to leave your side."

_Swoon._

"It isn't a coincidence that I live down the street, either. What's the difference between living down the street and living in your house? Or my house?" He reached his right hand up and ran it through my hair again. "If it makes you more comfortable, and to make this as easy as possible for you, I can move into your guest room. I just … I don't want to be away from you."

_Double swoon._

"Don't you feel like we are doing this backwards? Kid, then moving in together? All in the span of a few months?"

"So that's what's going through your head right now? You don't think we've known each other long enough?"

"No. Yes. Maybe. I don't know."

"What do you want to know about me? Wait - what do you need to know about me before you feel satisfied that you know me well enough to plan your future with me?"

_Oh my goodness, I'm so busy swooning that it's a wonder I'm still sitting up._

"I don't know. I've never lived with a significant other before."

"Neither have I."

Edward grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "So what's holding you up here?"

"I'm … I don't know, Edward. What if it's a mistake?"

"It isn't."

"You can't know that."

"But I do."

"You seem to know everything here, don't you?"

"Yep. That sounds about right."

I shook my head and broke free of his hold. "Just like you knew we were gonna get pregnant the night we met? And how we were having a baby girl, right? You knew all that?"

"That's … different."

"How is it different?"

"I … "

"I just don't feel like you've thought this through enough, Edward."

"Baby …"

Goodness, this guy was trying to kill me, wasn't he? He obviously really wanted me to agree with him, because he was pulling out all the stops. I was having a hard time saying yes to him, but at the same time, I couldn't reject him, either.

"How about we just … try it out."

"What do you mean?"

"Pack a bag and come over. But, like, don't pack your whole house up and stuff."

"So have an extended sleep over? Is that what you're saying?"

"God, you make me sound so childish."

"Well …" He trailed off, smirking.

"Oh shut up. You do realize you're the one suggesting that we move in together on the day that we decided to, ya know …"

"Be together? Yeah, I realize that, and I think you need to stop over-analyzing all of this. We'll do it your way, and I'll stay over here for a few weeks before you'll admit that I'm right and you beg me to put my house on the market and move all my bachelor pad-y things over to your house. But if a few weeks will make you happy, then so be it."

He pulled me close and gave me a kiss on the forehead. "After all, all I want is your happiness."

_Swoon. Swoon. Swoon. Sigh. Swoon. Sigh._

_… And a little bit of vomiting in my mouth, because that was so cheesy, and corny, and so fucking _Edward.

I struggled to find my voice. I was just … so enamored by this man and his wily talent to get me to do what he wanted. _Sweet-talking bastard. _

"You have two weeks," I finally answered. "Two weeks to convince me that this is a good idea."

"It won't even take that long." His confident smirk was back, full force.

"You are mighty sure of yourself, Cullen. What if, after living with your very _pregnant _and _hormonal _girlfriend, you decide that _you _don't want to live with _me_?"

"Oh, baby, that's not possible."

"It isn't?"

"Nope. Because I have my heart set on it. And I know that it'll be one of the best decisions that we've ever made together."

Coming back to the present, I finally finished peeing. The "needing to pee all the time" was seriously one of my least favorite parts of being pregnant.

_Thank you, baby, for finally taking some pressure off my bladder._

I waddled my ass over to the sink to wash my hands before brushing my teeth and washing the night from my face. Even after making the toilet my little pee-bitch, I was horny (thank you, pregnancy hormones), and I decided that I'd better take advantage of the fact that my beautiful boyfriend was waiting in my bedroom for me.

_Boyfriend. Sigh._

Life sure was perfect at times, wasn't it?

Before I was able to finish up, Edward was standing outside of the bathroom door.

"Babe?" he called into the still-closed door. "There's someone at the front door. Were you expecting anyone?"

_Uhhh … it's the day after Christmas. Maybe it's Rose? Alice is still out of town with Jasper, so it wasn't her._

"Not that I know of, Edward. Mind answering it for me? I'll be out in a second."

It better have been someone from a traveling religious group who was trying to pass their crap literature on to anyone who answered the door. If it was, in fact, some kind of person trying to pedal their religion onto others, the day after Christmas to boot, I hope that Edward opened the door shirtless. And in boxers only.

_Shirtless … Edward … yum …._

_Yeah, that'd be hilarious._

I finished getting ready and made my way down the stairs. The conversation that I overheard made me stop in my tracks.

"I'm sorry, what did you say your name was? Isabella has told me _nothing _about you."

"My name is Edward, ma'am."

_Ma'am? Oh my goodness, as perfect as Edward is, my mom is gonna kill him for calling her that in …_

_… Five …_

_… Four …_

_… Three …_

_… Two …_

_… One …_

"Ma'am?" she yelped. "Ma'am? How old do you think I am?"

Old enough to be a grandma, I snickered to myself.

I knew I had to step into Renee's line of sight to rescue Edward from the berating he was sure to get simply because he was being polite.

_Here goes nothing._

I walked down the hallway and, once I reached Edward, I wrapped my arms around him.

My mother's jaw dropped to the floor, and her skin paled so much I was worried she was going to pass out.

"Isabella. What? How …?"

I'd never seen Renee at a loss for words before, to be honest, and it was freaking hilarious.

Hmm. Maybe I should've told her I was pregnant before she showed up at my house and figured out for herself?

_Hah. This should be fun._

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**E/N: AND RENEE SHOWS UP AGAIN! Bet a bunch of you forgot about her, huh? I know that one reader in particular JUST made mention of her, and I giggled because I knew what was coming.**

**I promise to try to respond to each review and give out a teaser. As long as "morning" (aka all day, every day) sickness doesn't drag me down as much as it has, I should be able to! I do read each and every one of them, and I get so giddy when reviews fill my inbox.**

**THANK YOU TO YOU (YEAH, YOU!) FOR STILL READING. I'm so glad that you care enough to keep reading this!**

**See you next Wednesday!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Welcome to chapter fifteen of this crazy ride that I call "At Last"! Because you guys are still reading this (and are so very loyal/awesome/spectacular/perfect), I'm gonna give you a heads up - this story only goes to chapter nineteen (with epilogue). We are winding down! Can you believe it? I sure can't. I'M NOT READY TO BE DONE WITH THIS STORY!**

**As always, I need to thank "Team AL":**

**The team captain, Detochkina, who is a saint and willing to donate time that she really doesn't have to take care of this story. I lurve you hard, girl!**

**And the two team assistant captains, MizzezPattinson and Coldplaywhore. Thank you girls for your words of wisdom (and Robporn. YUM).**

**I'm sorry that I was fail with review replies again, folks. LJ turned two (I can't believe it!) so my whole week was dedicated to preparing for his party (which went off with minimal hitches, thank goodness). But to all of you who left reviews last chapter, THANK YOU and I adore you and I truly appreciate every one of you.**

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**Chapter Fifteen - Dear Unborn Daughter: I Can't Promise You Much About This Life, But I Can Promise You This - I'll Never Be Like My Batshit Crazy Mother. And You're Welcome In Advance.**

Renee shocked the shit out of me by doing something I did not expect to happen - she dropped to her knees, covered her eyes, and proceeded to cry her eyes out.

I had to get Edward's help and have him drag her from my foyer over to the sitting room and deposit her on a couch. She was so hysterical I don't even think she noticed she'd been moved and was no longer kneeling and flailing on the porcelain floors.

After about five minutes of my mother's solid crying, Edward excused himself from the room before returning with two boxes of Kleenex.

The fact that Edward knew me, and subsequently my mom, so well that he knew to go grab two boxes of Kleenex made my heart swell.

It didn't take long for my heart to deflate when I realized that _I _was the reason my crazy mom was bawling. Her emotions were wearing on me, and it wasn't long before my eyes started tearing up.

Edward, of course, noticed this, and scooted over so he was sitting with me. He pulled my hands into his lap and held onto them tightly.

"So," he whispered, "I assume you never told your mom that you were pregnant?"

I shook my head, a few tears rolling down my cheeks. Renee was still in her own world, and paid no attention to the two of us.

"How is that even possible, baby?"

I grabbed one of the Kleenexes from one of the boxes Edward put on the coffee table next to us and wiped it under my eyes before I rolled it into a ball in my hands. Edward grabbed hold of my hands once more.

"I really didn't know how to bring it up."

"Bella, sweetheart, you're seven months pregnant. When were you going to tell her? When you were in labor? You figured out a way to tell Charlie." Edward's words cut me to the core, even though they were spoken with sincerity.

_Too-smart-for-his-own-good bastard._

"I hadn't really thought about it yet."

The sound of Renee's renewed bawling turned our attention from ourselves back to my mom.

"How … how … how?"

At least, that's what I _think _my mom was muttering. Her words weren't exactly clear by this point.

I wasn't sure if she wanted me to actually answer that question or not, so I decided to tread carefully. "Well, you see, mom, when a man and a woman …"

"Shut. Shut up."

Edward gave my mom a handful of Kleenexes, and she grabbed them greedily before wiping her face and blowing her nose.

_Eww, mom. Not in front of our guest._

_Wait, this is gonna be Edward's home, too, right? I guess that would make my mom our guest._

_Eh, semantics._

"How, Isabella? How do you go from being single to … this?" She gestured wildly at my pregnant stomach, and I tried my hardest to not slap her for the question she asked.

She was the one who wanted me to have a kid, right? Well, wish granted.

"Well, like I said earlier, when a man and a woman …"

"I get it. I was the one who gave you the talk, remember?"

I struggled not to roll my eyes. "Please. You gave me the talk when I was twelve. By demonstrating on my Barbies. Hardly helpful."

"God, you've always been such a smartass." Renee turned her puffy-from-crying face over to Edward. "How do you put up with her? I'd imagine that she's worse now that she has some crazy hormones in her body. I practically had to have her committed when she had her first period."

Before Edward was able to answer, I interrupted. "Sharing such fond memories, mother?"

She shuddered. "You know I don't like that word."

I did know that, in fact. Which was why I started calling my parents by their first names when I was a very young girl.

And now I was on a roll.

"How do you like the word 'grandmother'?" I asked.

She sighed. "I'd rather have had a few more months to get used to it, to be honest."

"I thought you wanted this, Renee."

"I did. Do. I just can't believe that it happened without me knowing about it, and with a gentleman that I've never met before. That is, assuming, that the fine young man here is the father."

I squeezed Edward's hand. "He is the father. And you've met him before, so no need to be mopey about it."

"I think I'd remember meeting this man."

"Hey, pervert. Mind stopping undressing my boyfriend - and the father of your unborn granddaughter - with your eyes?"

My mom teared up again. "You're having a girl?"

"Yeah, we are."

"Oh my God. I can't believe it. My baby's having a baby." A fresh round of tears rolled down my mom's face as she realized that this was real. I wasn't just walking around my house wearing a fake baby bump … I was actually carrying her first grandchild.

I felt like such a piece of shit for avoiding my mom this entire time.

"Well, I guess I have to do the only thing I can do. I'm moving in."

_Aaaaand there goes all the sympathy I'd been feeling for her. I knew I was avoiding her for a reason!_

"No! You are absolutely _not _moving in with me, mom!"

_There. I threw in "mom" for good measure to show her I mean business._

"Yes I am, Isabella. Don't argue me on this."

Fine. I'd try a different approach then. "Don't you think that we should ask my roommate before you decide to move in?"

"Your roommate? Why do you have a roommate? Have you fallen on hard times? Can you not afford your house payment anymore?"

This time Edward squeezed my hand. "No, ma'am. She's talking about me. I'm moving in."

"You? You're moving in here? I'm Isabella's mother. I think that I have a right to say that I'm …"

"You have a right to your own opinion, of course. But Bella's the boss here. If she wants you to move in or if she wants to stick it out and have us do this on our own is her decision and her decision alone."

I resisted the urge to scoff. I mean, _hello_. Obviously Edward wouldn't want my mom to move in with us, when we were_ just _talking about taking the next step in our relationship. But because Edward was clearly perfect, he'd never admit that out loud, and would allow me to make the decision by myself.

_Perfect. Perfect. Perfect._

"Mom, Edward and I are gonna do this ourselves. I appreciate your offer, but I think we can handle our child."

I could tell that Edward let out a small sigh of relief. I wanted to poke him in the side and say, _"Hey, do you really think I'd do that to you?", _but I opted not to. I didn't want to risk my mom overhearing me and me hurt her feelings again, when I was batting a thousand as it was.

"I wish you'd let me help."

"Edward will help me, don't worry."

"I _do _worry, though! I don't even know this … Edward." Her eyes roamed his body again, and I clenched my teeth.

"Seriously, you gotta quit checking him out. 'Cause he's kinda taken. By your _daughter_."

"I'm not checking him out."

"God, you so totally are!" I glared at her. "I know your cougar ways, mother. Which is another reason why you aren't living with us. Poor Edward would wake up to you molesting him in his sleep!"

"Where do I know him from again?"

"Well, Edward and I met at Alice and Jasper's wedding."

"Alice and Jasper's wedding? But you weren't there for very long. You got drunk really quickly, and before I knew it, you were …"

"Yeah, I left with Edward."

"Holy shit. Seriously?"

"Yep."

My mom touched her face. She must have realized that her makeup had run down her cheeks, because she immediately excused herself to the bathroom.

"You know, that night was the best night of my life."

"Huh?"

Edward ran a hand through my hair. "The night of Alice and Jasper's wedding was the best night of my life."

"Seriously? Even though you were drunk out of your mind and probably don't remember much of it?"

"Of course. How could it _not _be the best night of my life?"

This felt strangely like a conversation that we'd had early in our friendship. The idea that we both might have felt something like this in the beginning sat heavy in my mind.

"Edward?"

"Hmmm?"

"How long have you, you know, felt that way?"

"A while."

I pursed my lips, trying to figure out how long ago we'd talked about what a miracle our daughter was. I couldn't remember a time in particular when we would've had that conversation. "When, exactly?"

The tips of his ears turned pink. "Honestly?"

"I always want you to be honest with me."

He scratched the back of his neck nervously. "Since the second time I saw you."

My eyes widened at his admission. "You're shitting me. I had no idea you cared that much early on."

"Well, obviously I suck at showing my feelings then, don't I?"

I smiled coyly. "The first step is knowing that you have a problem."

"I do have a problem, don't I? I mean, it took you witnessing me hugging my cousin to finally get our relationship progressing past some kind of weird friends-with-benefits-but-oh-wait-we're-having-a-baby-together phase."

"I don't think it's just your problem, Edward. I've loved you for a very long time, too." My cheeks flushed at my admission, and I cleared my throat and pretended to cough. So he'd think that me declaring my love for him was a byproduct of needing to cough or something. Smooth.

A wide smile spread across his face. "You've loved me for a long time, huh?"

Fuck it. There was no time for modesty, right? Everything about us had been unconventional so far, might as well add this to our "oh my God, did that seriously just happen" moments.

"God, yes. I really have."

His smile intensified. "I love you too, baby."

XXX

Renee finished drilling me and Edward about our relationship and how much we were prepared for the baby before deciding to leave for the night.

But not before she got one last little jab in.

"Don't worry. I'll be here when you decide that you want my help, Isabella. I have no problem moving for a few years."

I almost choked on the spit in my mouth. "How very kind of you, mother. But I promise you that won't be necessary."

"Regardless of what you say, the offer's on the table."

Edward turned to me, his eyes wide, mouthing, "Years?"

I shook my head at Edward and turned my attention back to my mom. "Thanks again, Renee. I'll let you know when the baby shower that Rose will be throwing me will be held. Talk to you then, okay?" I started walking in the direction of the front door, basically herding my mom out of my house.

"Uh, if you're sure?"

"I'm sure." _Phew! _ I'd finally got one of her feet out of the door. _ Now for the other one. _I took another step toward her and wrapped my arms around her, making sure that she was fully out of my house by that point.

"Love you, Renee. Talk to you later!" I released her and stepped back into my house before backing up and quickly shutting the door.

Edward walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. "That was kind of harsh, don't you think? You basically threw your mom out."

"Edward, you heard the woman. If I didn't throw her out, she'd end up moving in here. For _years._And we couldn't have that. We have, like, a relationship to go re-consummate because of the L bombs we both had dropped."

"Mmmm." Edward pressed his lips on my neck, nipping and sucking until he turned me around the face him. "Re-consummate? I like the way you think, baby."

Before I was able to make another innuendo, Edward bent down and picked me up, tucking an arm under my legs so he was cradling me in his arms. The action caught me pleasantly by surprise, but the grunting sound he made once he had me completely off the ground did nothing but piss me off.

I slapped his chest. "Just 'cause you know I love you now doesn't give you the right to think you can be an asshole, asshole."

"I just wanted to see a little bit of the spitfire that I fell in love with. That side of you only comes out when you're angry - and I used to see that side a lot, 'cause you were always pissed off with or by my stupidity. But let it be known, woman, that I was only stupid because I had no fucking clue how to tell you that I wanted more with you, that you meant so much more to me than just a friend who was pregnant with my spawn."

"Aw, you're such a romantic," I muttered sarcastically while swooning internally. Because even though he worded things like a butthead, he still meant what he said.

He lowered his voice. "What can I say? You make me want to be a better man."

"Ugh!" I yelped, wiggling in his arms as he carried me to my - soon to be _our _- bedroom. "Cheeseball! Cheeseball! You're such a freaking cheeseball!"

"You like it."

"I like you. But I could do without the overuse of cliches, because you're starting to make me wonder about your manhood. I mean, first you were a vagina doctor, and now this? Edward, I'm worried."

"Baby, my manhood is just fine." He reached my bed and gently laid me on top of the sheets before he growled at me, like he was trying to prove his masculinity to me or something.

Instead of me defending his manhood, his actions prompted me to laugh at him.

"Laughing? You're _laughing _at me? Well, let's see if we … can … fix … that."

In a matter of moments, and some very hot little moves later, he had me naked and ready for him. Thank goodness for pregnancy hormones, because all he had to do was look at me a certain way and I went from laughing my ass off to wanting to tap his ass.

Seriously, Edward was one sexy bastard when he quirked his eyebrow just right.

Oh, who the fuck was I kidding? An eyebrow quirk? All he had to do was breathe and I wanted to jump him.

He grinned triumphantly as he watched me squirm, waiting for him to get undressed.

"What are you doing? Get the frick over here! If you don't re-consummate this relationship with me soon, I swear to God I'm gonna start flicking the bean."

"Flicking the bean?"

"Don't play stupid with me. Get over here."

He didn't budge. Instead, he stared at me with a self-satisfied smirk on his face, as if to tell me that he knew that if I wanted it, I'd have to do what he wanted me to do.

_As if the ball were in_ his _court. Pssssh._

I took out my secret weapon - my hand. Men were such simple creatures, really. All it took to drive one crazy was to run one little hand down your torso, slowly, slowly towards the promised land, until you actually reached the promised land. Sometimes you actually had to get a finger inside, sometimes you didn't even have to get that far.

This would be one of those nights. I knew that my pregnant body drove Edward crazy - my swollen belly and enlarged boobs definitely turned him on - so I made sure to have my hand linger on my stomach before making its way over.

This was the first time we'd done this as more than "friends", so I was enjoying playing around with him.

"Stop." He grabbed my hand and placed it on my side before straddling me. "Mine."

"Oh my God, Edward. Like, five minutes into our relationship and you're staking claim to my lady bits?"

He didn't even look ashamed as he nodded his head. "Yep."

"Show me what's yours. Show me _why _it's yours." _Poor Edward. This was just far too easy._

His hand moved over to my womanhood, and before long, I was begging for him to be inside me already.

Which was what I wanted in the first place, but he didn't need to know that.

He thrust inside and, oh my sweet baby Jesus, it felt amazing. Not sure how it was possible, but the more pregnant I got, the better the sex was.

He normally wasn't too much of a talker during sex, but today he let a few, "baby, baby"'s slip out. I wasn't complaining, though, because it took everything I was to not scream out, "I fucking love you!" after every one of his thrusts.

No, instead, I waited to make that particular proclamation until he was done and I had come so hard that my toes curled. "I love you, Edward. I really truly do."

He licked his lips and smiled. "I love you too, baby."

I bit my lip. "Mmm, I'm never gonna get sick of that."

"You aren't?"

I shook my head.

"Good. 'Cause I'm going home now to pack up some bags so I can start moving in here. Thanks for the reaffirmation of your feelings, though. Hopefully you remember how much you like me when we're finding a place for my porn collection."

When Edward left my room wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and a smile, I knew I'd been the one who'd just been manipulated instead of the other way around. _Sneaky bastard._

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**E/N: So, whatcha think?**

**I can't believe that almost a thousand of you are following this story. *waves* Hello everyone! I hope I'm not disappointing ya'all!**

**Reviews are always cherished, and if I don't reply to you with my computer, I really want to (it's true! I have something that I want to say to each and every one of you wonderful people!).**

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**Until next Wednesday 3**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Welcome to all 1K of you following this story! Sorry that this chapter is a day late - the men in my life (my hubs and two-year-old) decided to act up yesterday and make it impossible for me to get to a computer. **

**But this is a fun chapter, so I hope that I make up for it :)**

**Special thanks to all of the regulars:**  
**- Detochkina, for being the best and beta-ing this beotch over and over again**  
**- MizzezPattinson, for supporting me when I needed her the most**  
**- Coldplaywhore, who is just ridiculously awesome and for some reason wanted to pre-read my chapters**  
**- and YOU (yeah, you!) for still reading!**

**Without further ado, here's the chapter that a lot of you have been looking forward to -**

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen - Time Flies When You're Having Fun. And Also When You Sleep 15+ Hours A Day.**

_*** Thirty-Six Weeks ***_

"Baby? Baby, wake up, please." Edward nudged my shoulder, and I winced as he moved my body a little bit.

"I'm up, I'm up." I groaned as I tried to sit up. The baby had grown so much, I swear she was half my body. I told people regularly to get ready to contact the Guinness Book of World Records once I gave birth, because I was sure that she was going to be the biggest baby ever born.

Edward was sure that I was just carrying around a little more water than I should've been. He blamed the salt and vinegar chips that I ate on the regular. I called him a buzz kill. It wasn'tmy fault our crazy daughter made me crave salty shit.

I was still wiggling on the bed, struggling to get up, when Edward leaned over and cradled my head and helped me sit up with ease.

"I'm sorry, sometimes it takes me awhile to get up."

"I know. And that's okay. The last month or so is definitely the hardest."

"Sweet comments aside, why'd you wake me up?"

"I wanted to talk baby names." He was far too peppy and I was far too groggy to be having this conversation.

_What time is it?_

I looked at the clock and growled. "At six in the morning? Are you fucking crazy? Let me sleep."

"But you fell asleep at eight last night. I wanted to talk then, but you were out cold after I finished washing the dishes."

"What can I say? Your domestic side puts me to sleep."

"My domestic side makes you swoon."

_It's true. It does._

I tried my hand at scowling. "Nah. It just reminds me that you're a pretty good roommate and I'm not entirely bothered by having you live with me."

"Bothered? Psssh. Woman, you know you love me living here."

_Again, very true. But that doesn't mean he needs to know that. _"I think I'd like living with you more if you didn't wake me up for no real reason."

"Picking out a name for our unborn daughter is totally a reason."

I decided to humor him for a minute. "Okay, hit me with a name."

"Well, I was thinking about combining our mother's names or something. You know, like Hollywood did back in the days of TomKat. Or Brangelina."

I was sure the frown crease between my eyes was larger than the Grand Canyon. "Edward, I love you. But that sounds like a fucking _terrible _idea."

"You haven't even heard the name yet."

"Tell me so I can go back to sleep."

"Well, you aren't any fun, are you?"

"Dude, you're messing with a pregnant woman and her sleeping. You realize that, right?"

He huffed. Like a little child, which was kinda funny. "Never mind then."

"Oh my God, I'm totally going to hit you with a pillow if you don't just tell me what name you're thinking about." To show that I meant business, I grabbed the pillow closest to me and balled my fists into it.

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Renneth? Rennezibeth? Elizabenne?"

"Oh my God. You're kidding, right?"

"Uhh … I take it you don't like them?"

"I'm serious when I say that I love you. I'm also serious when I say that the names really truly suck on all levels of suck."

His face fell. I leaned towards him and left a quick kiss on his lips. "I appreciate that you want to do something different for our daughter. But seriously, Edward, do you _want _her to get her butt kicked at school?"

"I just … I didn't want her to be saddled with a name that's a burden. I know first hand what it's like to have someone ask my name a second time, as though they couldn't believe that a man who wasn't at least ninety was actually named Edward."

"How would that change if we made up a name for our daughter? They'd still look at her as though her parents were crazy or something."

"She'd be one of a kind, no one would tease her about not living up to her name. There aren't too many Elizabennes running around out there."

I snorted. "Yeah, for good reason."

_*** Thirty-Seven Weeks ***_

"I'm gonna be right back, babe. Just one more box and I'm completely moved over here." Edward gave me a kiss on my forehead before turning and making the trek to his house one last time.

Edward "Charming" Cullen called it a few weeks ago - living with him was an absolute dream, and I didn't want for him to have a reason to go back to his house for anything.

Not even his porn collection. Shit, I had it bad for this man.

It was a good thing that he wasn't able to settle into his house much, because he was able to move almost everything over to my -_our_- house in a matter of weeks. He informed me that he didn't want to put his house up for sale yet because he wanted to give me an extra sense of security, but I informed him that I didn't need for him to keep his house on the "off chance" that we'd fail. It made me feel like he was keeping his house because he wasn't sure about "us", and the fact that we were due to become a trio in a matter of weeks made my mind up. Because his cheesiness was rubbing off onto me at an alarming rate, I told him to list his house as soon as he could. So, you know, we could close that chapter of our lives and start a new one, together.

_Chapter._ Heh. See, I was thinking about writing, even when I wasn't thinking about writing. _My editor would be so proud._

_*** Thirty-Eight Weeks ***_

"Are you sure that you wanna try to induce labor, Bella? I think you should just go with the flow, and let things happen naturally."

I glared at Alice and shook the bottle of castor oil that I was holding. "Says the woman who isn't nine months pregnant," I muttered, loud enough for her to hear me.

"Hey, I get that you want the baby out. But are you sure that you want to have it _now?"_

"Alice is right," piped in Rosalie. "You can't have sex until at least six weeks after you give birth. Are you sure you wanna force yourself into being celibate so soon?"

"Yes. No. Maybe." I took a deep breath and pointed to my belly with my free hand. "I just want my baby out of here."

"You don't even have a name for her yet. Why don't you-" Alice eyed the oil I was still holding. "-wait until then?"

I shrugged. "I was thinking about maybe naming her after a nurse or something once she came."

"That's a terrible idea, Bella. What if her nurses are named Gertrude or Agnes or Mildred?"

"Well, then we'd have a cute little Trudy or Aggie or Millie, wouldn't we?"

_Actually, Millie isn't that bad._

_Wait, what? I think I've been reading too many books insisting old-fashioned names are back in style. Edward should appreciate that fact, right?_

"Please don't tell me that any of those names appealed to you," Rosalie begged.

_Hmm. Rosalie isn't a bad name, actually._

_Rosalie. Rosalie Cullen._

_Nah, that would just get confusing. When I yelled, "Rosalie!" they would both look at me._

I shook my head, not believing the crazy thoughts. "Huh? What were we saying?"

Alice cleared her throat. "You aren't ready to settle on a name for your daughter yet, therefore you aren't ready to attempt inducing labor."

"Thirty-eight weeks is a perfectly normal time to have a baby. Everything's pretty well developed by then, so it's not like it would be hurting anyone."

"I really think you should take advantage of the time you have before your baby comes, and have a lot of sex. You won't be having very much of that once the baby comes," Rosalie said.

"Is it always about sex with you?"

"With me? Oh yeah, it's always about the sex. I'm the only one of us who isn't in a monogamous relationship." Rose rolled her eyes but still had a small smile playing on her lips.

_*** Thirty-Nine Weeks ***_

"I'm going to be starting my paternity leave soon. I told you that already, didn't I?"

My eyebrows furrowed in concentration. I thought that I remembered him telling me something about that, but I wasn't sure. "I don't remember."

He smiled and folded another baby blanket that I had just washed. While the baby shower that Rosalie had thrown me was a couple weeks ago, I hadn't truly gotten around to washing everything and putting it away until today I was a procrastinator, through and through, even when it came to me putting away stuff for my _baby._

Edward thought that I was "nesting" now, which was a sign that I was going to be going into labor soon. I hoped and prayed that he was right. While I wasn't a huge fan of the fact that I was going to be in the worst kind of pain imaginable once I finally did go into labor, I was ready.

I mean, the blankets were finally washed, right? Of course I was ready.

I wanted to meet my daughter so badly. If the number of times I seriously considered drinking castor oil (seventeen. Seventeen times) was any kind of indicator, I was ready to be a mom.

_So, so ready._

"It's okay. Pregnancy brain is the cause for forgetfulness," Edward joked as he moved closer to me and placed a kiss on my shoulder. He snuggled into me, placing his hands on my hips.

"What's gonna be my excuse once I have the baby?"

He smirked. "Then you'll have 'mommy brain.' Which, at times, can be worse than pregnancy brain. My mom told me that once, when she was in such a hurry to get me to nursery school on time, she walked out of the house in flip flops. It was the middle of January. In New York. She said she was just glad that_ I _was bundled up appropriately."

"Elizabeth sounds like she was an amazing mom."

"She was. Still is, in fact."

I smiled as I thought of Mrs. Cullen, and the fact that she called Edward "Pickle." It was endearing, and adorable, and completely and utterly fucking hilarious.

"What're you smiling about, babe?"

"Your nickname, Pickle. How'd you come to have that nickname anyway?"

Edward narrowed his eyes playfully. "You're lucky I like you so much. I don't normally share such details with others."

"Psssh. I've got a Cullen in my belly right now. It's, like, my right to know your deepest, darkest secrets."

"Interesting. The fact that we're living together doesn't give you that right as it is?"

"Nah, 'cause that would mean that _you _are entitled to all of _my _deepest, darkest secrets. And there's no way that I'm gonna tell you about the weekend that I had with Pedro when I was on spring break and we did that thing with the thing in that one position and that other position that I never thought I'd try - and oh _God_, it felt _so _good," I teased. I tried to keep my face straight, but it was no use. I loved teasing Edward, and it riled him up, every time.

"Bella." He lowered his voice, as though he was warning me or something. Silly boy.

"Edward." I tried to parrot the deep timbre of his voice but instead ended up sounding like a woman mocking a man. Which was exactly what I was doing.

"That's not funny."

"What? You don't like me talking about my shady past?"

He glared at me. "Shady? Don't think I can't smell your bullshit by now, woman."

"But it's not bullshit, my dear Edward."

"It totally is." He moved his hands from my hips up to my sides … and started tickling me.

I giggled in a very unsexy way, complete with snorts. "Stop. Stop! Seriously, fucking stop! I'm gonna pee myself!"

"Admit that you were an angel before you met me," he growled playfully.

"Never!"

The baby pressed down, and taking into account the fact that I was on the losing side of a tickle war, I was in danger of peeing my britches. Serious, honest to goodness danger of pissing myself.

"Fine! Fine!" I took a few deep breaths as Edward relented for a moment for me to finish my sentence. "I was an angel before you met me. A virgin and all."

He kissed me on the forehead before turning back to putting baby things away. "You didn't need to push it by saying you were a virgin, Bella."

Edward and I had the talk awhile ago, and he knew that although I wasn't a virgin, I wasn't as sexually experienced as you'd think a girl who sleeps with a stranger would be. And Edward? Edward got a surprising amount of women, considering he was a vagina doctor.

Apparently he'd gotten into the profession because he was busy chasing a young co-ed who was also entering into the gynecology field. Once he got close enough to said co-ed, he promptly struck out - turns out his crush had been dating the man that she was married to since she was eighteen, and Edward never even had a chance. He ended up staying in the profession, because he didn't find a reason not to, until he moved to Washington.

_Ha ha. _I'd never let him live that down. Honestly though - he was a lot like me, experienced but not overly so. It made for a happy mix of _I-know-what-I'm-doing-and-because-of-my-small-amount-of-experience-I-also-know-that-everything-I've-ever-wanted-is-you._

I folded a swaddling blanket and pretended to pout. "I know I didn't have to say that. I was buttering you up because I want to know why your mom calls you Pickle, Pickle."

He turned to me and rolled his eyes. "Obviously."

"Come on, tell me. Please?"

"You aren't gonna let this go, are you?"

"Nope."

He frowned and shook his head. "My nickname is Pickle, because that was my first word."

"'Pickle' was your first word? You've gotta be kidding."

"'Fraid not. My mom said that I ran around the house, proud as a peacock, yelling it as loud as I could."

"You were so weird."

"Hence the reason why I didn't want to tell you."

"Oh, shut up."

"You shut up."

"Hey, Edward?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"I love you. And we're gonna make awesome parents."

_*** Forty Weeks ***_

This was it - what was supposed to be my last week of pregnancy.

Except our darling daughter didn't seem to want to come out.

Since Edward was officially on paternity leave, he was at home with me, watching me like a hawk. Even if I wanted to drink Castor oil to induce pregnancy (which I didn't want to - who in the world would want to drink oil?) I wouldn't be able to, because Edward was monitoring my every goddamn move.

It was times like that when I really wished that he wasn't a fucking doctor. He brought home a blood pressure cuff … like he thought I'd let him check my blood pressure at home.

No thank you. If I let him do that, would he stop there or keep going until he had me with feet up in stirrups and checking to see how effaced I was?

I shuddered at the thought.

Edward believed that the baby would come out when she was good and ready. Well, that was the doctor in him. I was ready to make her come out of me … any way possible.

But because I had Edward "The Hawk" Cullen watching my every move, I was bound to using only two "natural and safe" methods - walking a whole shit ton and having a _whole_ bunch o' sex. I was getting sick of the walking, truth be told, but the sex. _Oh God,_the sex was amazing.

I'd always heard that sex is the best during pregnancy, especially during the second trimester. For me, while the second trimester was amazing, the third trimester was the best sex I'd ever had, hands down.

Since it was the day before my due date, I was bound and fucking determined to have sex at least five times. Not that Edward was complaining, per se, but he was getting exhausted. He playfully informed me that he wasn't eighteen anymore, and that it wasn't easy to have marathon sex at the drop of a dime.

I told him that it wasn't the drop of a dime that we were talking about, that I was actually hoping for something else to drop. Like his daughter to drop down from her lovely perch in my uterus before hopefully making her quick descent out of said womb.

Being a doctor, he understood my crude attempt at humor and acquiesced in my requests to have "marathon sex."

We were in the middle of our third round of "lovemaking" (aka "lets have this baby already!" fucking) for that day when things … started … feeling … different.

I was laying on my back, receiving some modified missionary sex a la _Edward style,_when I first noticed something was off, I thought that I just came or something. Things had been really sensitive, and yeah, Edward was just that good. I was on the verge anyways, you know?

But the more I thought about it, the more it didn't make sense. There was no orgasm spasms, no real release for either of us.

The wet didn't go away. In fact, it got worse.

And then,_ oh, oh … _my orgasm came, and it was lacking.

_Eh. I'll just hold out for the next one._

"Fuck, baby," Edward moaned, "you're so wet for me."

_My thoughts exactly. _

"Oh fuck, Bella. You're so, so …" Edward paused and picked up again, pumping a little slower than before, a look of confusion on his face. "Bella, are you okay?"

"I … I … I think so?" _Keep going. I want to erase the lame orgasm from my mind._

"You think so?" He stopped and pulled himself out before surveying the bedspread that I was sprawled on top of. "Oh shit."

"'Oh shit?' What does that mean?"

Edward quickly hopped off the bed and raced to the bathroom before throwing a towel at me. I whimpered and wished that he would just come back already. _So I could find release. Again._

"It means," he started, pulling his boxers on, "that we need to get ourselves to the hospital ASAP."

My head, because it was the only thing that wasn't weighed down by a forty week old fetus, popped up from bed. "Why? What's wrong?"

He smirked. "Well, the lover in me would like to think that I somehow made you come all over the bedspread. But the doctor in me? The doctor in me knows that your water just broke."

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**E/N: YES, I TOTALLY JUST LEFT IT THERE. You're welcome! Wait, that's not what you're looking for? Well, the good news is that because this chapter is a day late, the next one will be to you in less than a week! YESSSSS!**

**Special thanks to all of you who reviewed last chapter. I'm sorry I was so fail at review replies, this is the first time I've been at a computer since last Wednesday. So basically I suck and I know it, so this is me bowing down to you who reviewed, because you all make me smile (like you wouldn't believe) with every review. I adore each and every one of you!**

**I'm on Twitter at Michellemmarie. Come say hi! I don't bite (sometimes? I mean, I bite if you taste like Skittles).**

**Thanks again for reading! Only three more chapters to go!**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: This is it! We're finally gonna have a baby! ;)**

**HUGE thank yous to my partners-in-crime, for making sure that I've gotten this far in the story (and in posting ;)). Check out the stories that they're writing (all these guys are listed under my "favorite authors" if you need a link. Ya'all know that ff sucks about allowing links, right?):**

**-Detochkina, writing "Sinnerman" (the story is PHENOMENAL. WIP, and a little birdy told me that the next chapter MIGHT be in progress right now :)).**

**-MizzezPattinson, who just started "Starting Over" (RUN, not walk, to read this story! Link is in my profile!)**

**-Coldplaywhore, writing … shit, she's written a TON of amazing stories (her fanfiction profile boasts 36 stories).**

**Before I forget, I feel like I should reiterate this: this is not my birthing story. This is fictional, okay? :)**

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**Chapter Seventeen - Margaret Elizabeth Cullen, born February Fourteenth. Eight Pounds, Three Ounces. Nineteen And a Half Inches Long. Full Head Of Fucking Hair (No Wonder Why I Had Crazy Heartburn!).**

Labor was, in two words, _a bitch_.

Regardless of the fact that my water had broke, my contractions were slow, and I wasn't dilating very fast.

After ten hours of "meh, this is kinda boring, oh, is that a contraction, yeah, but it's small" labor, my doctor and Edward (the most annoying father to be, I was sure) decided to start me on a pitocin drip to help my contractions speed up a little bit.

And then? Then, my contractions hit me so hard that I was yelling like a banshee at anything and anyone who crossed my path.

My nurse had to calmly tell me to please stop yelling, "Oh, my God! One-night stands are the _devil_!" because apparently I was scaring the wholesome couple who were having a child in the room next to me.

At that point, I was close to yelling out, "wholesome families can suck a round of cocks!" But I held my tongue. Because wholesome people probably wouldn't know how to suck a round of cocks, right? And what would that say about me? I mean, I'd never sucked a round of cocks before, and I wasn't exactly wholesome, as evidenced by the fact that everyone within hearing distance knew that I'd had a one-night stand.

What was a round of cocks, anyway? Like, how many cocks would you need to suck for it to be considered a "round"?

Yes, those were the thoughts that were running through my head as I was mentally preparing to push a watermelon through my precious vagina.

I had actually taken to calling my vagina "the precious", and I didn't think that my nurses were very amused with the nickname I'd given my genetalia.

"Be careful with the precious!" I'd yelled at one nurse. She rolled her eyes and proceeded to check how dilated I was.

The next time I brought up the precious was after they'd tried to give me some pain medicine as I was waiting for my epidural. "Edward! Edward, I'm scared for the precious. What if … what if you don't want it after the baby rips it to shreds?"

Edward nervously rubbed the back of his neck as he looked at the nurse who was checking my vitals. Probably taking stock in the fact that whatever he said, would have to be heard by a stranger who was medically trained, therefore, someone who knew where to refer someone if they should be deemed mentally unstable.

"The precious will be fine. And so will you."

The nurse snorted in amusement.

I, however, was not convinced.

"You never said that you'd love the precious no matter what."

"I thought it went without saying," Edward replied.

"Yeah, well, it didn't."

"I'm sorry, baby, let me start over. I will love you, and everything about you, no matter what happens."

The nurse, who was eavesdropping on our conversation, decided to leave at that moment. I turned my attention back to Edward.

"Even if I have to have a c-section and they mangle my cute little belly?" I asked, running my fingers over my large and disgusting midsection, which was anything but a cute little belly.

"Funny how you are reacting right now. Note to self: make sure to keep you away from the kind of medicine you are on right now for the rest of your life."

"You aren't funny, Mr. Pickle! I'm genuinely worried that the love of my life is going to find me hideous after having his illegitimate child. What if you find me ugly after the baby? What if it's enough for you to leave me?"

"Seriously? You're kidding, right?"

I shook my head and gripped the bedding next to me as I felt another contraction slowly build. Edward watched the screen that was monitoring my contractions with rapt attention before pressing the call button next to my bed, summoning a nurse as soon as he did so.

"Bella, you will always be the most beautiful woman in the world to me. Even if you have scars after today … those scars would mark the most important day of my life. I love you more than words."

It was at that moment when the nurse, who was checking my vitals earlier, came back into my room.

She looked slightly annoyed. "You rang?"

Edward stepped forward. "Yeah. I did, actually. I was thinking that her contractions were getting too close together, and I'd really appreciate it if she could get the epidural now."

"Sir, we're doing everything that we can right now. The anesthesiologist is currently busy, and we're waiting for him. We need a trained professional taking care of this." The nurse narrowed her eyes at Edward.

I had a feeling he was pissing the nursing staff off, and that pretty much confirmed it.

"And I appreciate that. I'm just seeing the window of opportunity closing right now, and I don't want Bella to miss it."

As if on cue, another contraction hit.

_Fucking oooooooooooouuuuuch._

The nurse watched as the contraction leveled off again. "Right."

Edward, completely unaware of the snarky tone that the nurse had taken on, continued, "exactly. Now, will you please check on the status of the anesthesiologist and what is taking him so damn long? Thank you so much."

The nurse glared at Edward, obviously having enough of his attitude, before she turned on her heel to leave the room.

"Wait!" I yelled out, hoping that I'd be able to stop the nurse before she left. I succeeded. "I'm sorry for my boyfriend here. He doesn't realize that he doesn't work at this hospital and that people don't know that he used to be a vagina doctor. He has a hard time with all of this, now that he's working as just a general practitioner and all."

A bizarre look crossed her face, probably when I used the word vagina after I'd been calling my own vag "the precious" all day long. Or maybe she was considering the idea that Edward was extremely pushy because he was familiar with Medicine.

_Vagina medicine. Vagggggina. Huh. Vagina's a funny word, isn't it? Vagggggina. Vaaaaaaagina. Vaginaaaaa._

Both Edward and the nurse looked at me like I'd sprouted a second head.

"Bella, baby, are you okay?"

"Seriously? I'm in fucking labor, you moron."

He shook his head. "You were just singing the word vagina."

"I was?" I thought that I was saying that to myself.

Something wasn't right.

"Uhm, yeah," he replied.

_Oh shit. _My head started swimming, and as soon as I started getting dizzy, my stomach started to get queasy. "Edward?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"I don't feel so hot."

As soon as the sentence left my mouth, the contents of my stomach did, too. There wasn't much that I could puke, considering that I hadn't eaten after I'd been admitted into the hospital, but it was enough for me to get a little bit on the nurse that had been sassy with Edward.

It didn't take long after that for me to get my epidural.

XXX

I was tired. I felt like I couldn't push anymore, and no amount of positive coaching from Edward or the nurses in my room could get me through the slump that I was in.

"Push, Bella!"

"I … I … I'm trying!" I grunted out.

"One more push!" My doctor kept trying to encourage me, but it wasn't helping.

"That's … what you said last time!" I said.

Edward rubbed my arm, but I barely registered his touch. "You're so close, baby, you can do it. I know you can."

I closed my eyes and focused on _my precious_. Just a little more … just a little extra push, and …

"The head is out, Bella. You just gotta pass the shoulders and you're in the clear."

_Oh God, the shoulders. You can do this, you don't have much more to go …_

And then the nurse placed a crying baby into my lap.

_Is this … ? Is this my baby?_

Edward bent down so his face was right next to mine. "Oh God, Bella." He wiped a few tears from his eyes. "She's the most perfect thing in the world."

I was able to count all ten fingers and ten toes before the nurses rushed her over to the warmer to clean her off.

Edward placed a kiss on my forehead before running over to the warmer to take pictures of our daughter.

_Our daughter. _

When they were done cleaning her off and warming her up, a nurse brought my baby over to me.

Ten fingers, ten toes. A full head of hair. The most delightful little cry I'd ever heard in my life.

Half Edward, half me.

Edward was right. She was perfect.

XXX

Not surprisingly, my father and Sue were first to arrive at the hospital, followed by Elizabeth and Edward Sr. (who were enroute from New York as soon as Edward told them my water broke). My mother was, in typical Renee fashion, the very last one to show up.

She'd arrived, arms full with pink balloons, so everyone for a ten mile radius would be able to see her. It was comical, really, until I realized that the balloons were supposed to stay in my room with me.

Where the fuck was I supposed to keep these damn balloons?

Regardless of the plethora of grandparents in my room, I couldn't stop thinking about my perfect daughter.

I couldn't take my eyes off her. I just … I couldn't comprehend that she was the little one in my belly for the last nine months.

"She's so beautiful, Bella," Elizabeth said as she placed another kiss on the baby's forehead.

"She is, isn't she?" My heart was bursting with happiness as I watched her open and close her mouth in a yawn.

It was adorable. Who knew that yawns could be so damn cute?

"Do you know what you guys are gonna name her?" my mom asked swatting a balloon away before grabbing her granddaughter from me.

"Yeah, uhm, we actually did pick a name."

"And? What's my granddaughter's name?" Elizabeth asked, leaning toward the newborn.

Edward placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. "Go ahead, baby. Let her know."

I smiled. "Well, we thought we'd pay homage to you, Elizabeth Margaret Cullen, because you never had a daughter."

Edward's mom gasped and placed a hand over her heart. Edward walked over to his mother and pulled her into an embrace. "We're naming her Margaret, after your middle name. Margaret Elizabeth Cullen."

I'd never seen someone cry so many happy tears in my life than Edward's mom did that day. I swear, the sounds of her delighted sobs popped a few balloons in our room.

Elizabeth was apparently very touched that we made our daughter, her first granddaughter, her name sake.

"We'll call her Maggie for short," I informed my mom, who smiled as she watched Edward hug his parents.

"She looks like a Maggie." Renee brushed her fingers across Maggie's forehead and played with a tendril of hair that was sticking up.

"She does, doesn't she?" I smiled, knowing that my mother was right.

I leaned back into bed and looked around the room with a smile on my face. It was so touching to see how happy everyone in my birthing suite was.

None of these people knew each other nine months ago. Now they were family.

Funny how things worked out, wasn't it?

"Now there's just one thing missing, Bella." My mom passed Maggie over to my dad before she took a seat next to me in bed.

I was tired, after spending way too many fucking hours giving birth, so I wasn't in the mood to play games with my mom. I closed my eyes as I responded. "What, mom?"

"Well, your daughter is a Cullen. I just think that you should share the same last name as her."

I punched my mom in the arm without even opening my eyes.

The last thing I needed was someone pressuring Edward to get engaged to the mother of his child.

My mom was such a brat sometimes.

* * *

**E/N: Holy shit, only a chapter and an epi left. I can't believe it!**

**That being said, the story doesn't feel … done … to me. I can't put my finger on what's missing though. Let me know if any of you have an idea for futuretakes or outtakes that I should add, okay? I'm completely open to suggestions!**

**Okay, so last chapter, I was able to send out four (count them - FOUR) review replies with teasers. I tried, I really did! So reviews this chapter will get teasers/replies as long as I can send them out. To those of you who I didn't reply to: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR REVIEW, YOU'RE THE BEST AND YOU COMPLETE ME.**

**Thanks again to all of you who are still reading/reviewing/reccing/favoriting/alerting this story. You've all made this such a wonderful experience for me!**

**See ya'all next Wednesday (WAAA! That's one of the last times I'm gonna say that!)!  
**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Welcome to the last regular chapter of At Last! Since you guys have read this far, I'm sure you know a few things about this story:**

**- I don't own Twilight**  
**- I don't condone unprotected sex with strangers**  
**- This isn't an autobiography by any means (even though it would've been **_**way fucking awesome**_** to scream out that "one night stands are the devil" while in a birthing suite)**  
**- This story wouldn't exist if it weren't for the support that Detochkina gave me. She's the best woman EVER, and this chapter is here because of her. True story.**  
**- MizzezPattinson (author of "Starting Over", which you're reading, RIGHT?) and Coldplaywhore are the best pre-readers out there.**  
**- I write annoyingly long a/ns, which I promise to cut off right … about … NOW.**

**ENJOY!**

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen - Being A Mom Is A Glamorous Job. Anything With Vomit Can Be Classified As "Glamorous," Right?**

_*__** Maggie, two weeks old ***_

"Edward! Can you please come to the nursery?"

I heard the pad of footsteps as Edward ran up the stairs to Maggie's room.

"What's up, babe?" he asked, red faced from running and glorious.

He was the best.

Edward had been the most attentive new father ever. He'd made sure that the transition from the hospital to our home was as easy as possible for all of us.

_Our home. _It truly was our home, too. After my years of fucking around and being a "single-and-not-looking" woman, I somehow stumbled across the best thing that could ever happen to me, and now we were sharing a home.

… And taking turns changing our daughter's diapers. And, since I decided to breastfeed and Edward couldn't help in that endeavor, he'd sit next to me and make sure I was comfortable as possible, even during our one am feedings. And giving our newborn gas relief drops, because she couldn't pass gas on her own without a little help.

God, I loved him so much.

I couldn't help but smile at the sight of him. "Can you look at her belly button? I think it's ready to come off, and I want to give her a bath."

He returned my smile and bumped my shoulder with his own. "Let the thing fall off on its own, why don't you?"

"It's almost there. Hangin on by a thread. An icky skin thread. Take it off. Please, Edward?"

"Now, I ain't no pediatrician, but I'm pretty sure that you're supposed to leave this alone. But since you're so cute and determined," he pinched my cheeks, "and I'm pretty sure you'd try to rub it off anyway, I'll see if I can help out."

_He knew me so well._

With a quick move of his fingers, Maggie was freed of her extra belly button skin.

"Yes! Magpie, let's get you in the bath now! Aren't you super duper excited?"

She grunted. I took it as her agreeing with me.

"Bella, darling? She might hate taking her first bath."

"But why? She loves getting her sponge baths."

"It's something new. Not everyone thinks 'new' is exciting."

"Why? She likes the water so far. I know she does." I put Maggie's clothes back on her and placed her in her crib, positioning her right in front of a mirror that was safely hung so she'd be able to look at herself and keep herself occupied for a few moments. My darling baby liked to look at her reflection so much, she was bordering on vain at the tender age of two weeks.

"I just wanted to warn you, babe. Sometimes babies freak out when they're submersed in water for the first time."

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Yeah, well, maybe that's not our daughter? Maybe she likes 'new'. Maybe she thrives on it."

Edward raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Uh … what are you even talking about? Maggie's a newborn. She doesn't know what 'like' means."

"I don't know what I'm saying, Edward. Ignore me. I'm so hormonal still, stupid breastfeeding hormones are really screwing with my body."

"Are you sure? It seems like there's something else there that's bothering you."

"Really, it's nothing. I'm just going crazy. Must be sleep deprivation."

_And the idea that my mom won't shut up about the fact that Edward hasn't proposed to me yet._

It wasn't that he hadn't proposed, I mean, I didn't want him to. Really, it was too early. We hadn't even known each other for a year yet!

But we had a kid together, and we were living together. He really hadn't mentioned anything about our future, and it was starting to get under my skin.

Did he not want to buy the cow since the milk was free? I mean, that wasn't the case, right? It wasn't the fucking 1950's anymore. But what if he didn't want a forever with me?

No, that wasn't possible. He couldn't have had second thoughts; he'd been so devoted, so wonderful.

So perfect. Everything I'd ever wanted …

… In a husband.

_Fuck!_

The way I was thinking was giving me mental whiplash. Not to mention post-pregnancy hormones weren't doing me any favors. I was one humane society dog commercial away from having a mental breakdown, complete with a river of tears and a torrent of snot that always accompanied the tears.

_Poor Maggie. Has to grow up with a nut case of a mom. Kinda like I did._

_Shit. I'm Renee. I'm totally my mother._

"Bella, baby. Are you sure it's sleep deprivation? I feel like you aren't telling me everything. You went from being giddy one minute to looking like you're gonna cry the next. What's wrong?"

I straightened up and plastered a fake smile on my face. "It isn't postpartum depression or anything. Just thinking about stupid stuff."

"Wanna talk about it?"

I melted. For the bazillionth time, Edward made me completely melt with just a few innocent words. "Don't worry about it. Seriously. Just an overactive mind and not enough sleep. Honestly."

"Okay. Well, I'm here if you need anything. You know that, right?"

And I did. I knew, deep within my bones, that Edward would always be there for me, even if he wasn't my husband. I didn't need a husband … I had the man of my dreams and our love child. Life was perfect in my own little way.

That was what I kept telling myself.

_*__** Maggie, six weeks old ***_

"Babe, my mom will be here in fifteen minutes. I don't care that you're taking your time getting ready, I just want to make sure that you know not to be running around the house naked if you hear the doorbell ring, okay?"

I rolled my eyes, even though Edward couldn't see me, and continued riffling through my closet. "Thank you, captain obvious. I was totally gonna answer the door in my birthday suit. What's wrong with that?"

"You're such a smartass." He walked up behind me and placed a kiss behind my ear. "I love you."

"I love you, too." I turned to face him to see what he was wearing for our date night. Dressed in a black button up and dark jeans that fit him juuuuust right, he looked amazing.

Even if there were remnants of baby puke on his shirt. It made him that much more perfect.

Before we were able to say anything more, Maggie's cries filtered through the baby monitor I'd kept on the night stand.

"I've got her, babe. Just focus on getting some clothes on before my mom sees you in all your glory." Edward made his way to Maggie's room, chuckling the whole way.

"Hey!" I yelled after him. "She traveled all the way here from New York. Showing her my hot bod is the least I could do for her, don't you think?"

I finally found the shirt that I was going to wear out when I heard Edward's soft voice over the baby monitor. He must've forgotten that the monitor was still on in the bedroom.

"Wish me luck tonight, Magpie. Hopefully I don't need it, right? I mean, it's not like she doesn't know that I love her. Tonight should be a breeze."

_Tonight? _I thought. _What the hell is happening tonight?_

His voice crackled over the monitor again, breaking my train of thought. "Oh my God, Maggie. Did you shit yourself?"

I giggled as I pushed the shirt I was holding over my head. I walked closer to the baby monitor to see if Edward was going to say anything else.

I was not disappointed.

"You did! Oh my God, how does someone so small make such a stinky poop? Christ, you only drink breastmilk. Your poop isn't supposed to smell!"

Maggie cooed, Edward scoffed. "Yeah, yeah. You don't need to kiss my ass because I'm wiping yours. Don't worry, I'll do a good job. I'm a trained medical professional and all."

I could hear the rustling of Edward as he got Maggie into a new diaper. He was talking himself through the steps, and it was adorable.

Before he was able to fasten a new diaper into place, he let out a yelp. "Seriously? Seriously, Maggie? You just peed all over the changing table!"

I muffled my laugh into my arm and threw a pair of pants on. Just then, I heard the doorbell ring.

"Bella!" Edward yelled from the nursery. "Can you please go get that? Margaret just peed all over the place, and I'm up to my elbows in urine. And make sure to put clothes on!"

I walked over to the bedside table and shut the baby monitor off, considering my eavesdropping time was over.

"You'd think that you'd be okay with dealing with our daughter considering you were a vagina doctor," I called out as I walked to our door to let Elizabeth in.

I opened the door, and before I was able to greet Edward's mother, Edward yelled at me from Maggie's room.

"You're such a smartass, Bella!"

Elizabeth frowned at his choice of language, and I had to stifle another laugh. "I'm sorry, Elizabeth. Maggie peed all over when Edward was changing her, and I was giving him a hard time."

"It's okay, dear," she said, patting my arm. "You guys have a little while before she starts repeating your swear words."

XXX

Our date was amazing. Edward took me to a high class Italian place for dinner, and I enjoyed myself quite a bit.

You know, because I was celebrating the idea of "when in Rome", I helped myself to a glass too many of wine.

For some reason, Edward looked disappointed when I passed the precipice of buzzed and headed into tipsy territory.

I tried to reason with myself that he wasn't familiar with me having a few drinks, but I wasn't quite sure.

_What if he doesn't like me drinking?_

He looked downright fidgety, and it was starting to get to me. "What's wrong, Edward?"

"Nothing. Why? Why do you think something's wrong?"

_See? Fidgety. _"Oh, no reason. 'Cept you seem like you're gonna crawl outta your skin."

"No, uhm. I'm just, uh, thinking about Maggie. And hoping that she, uh, isn't giving my mom a hard time right now."

I took another sip of my wine. "It's okay, honey. Your mom is the most able-bodied babysitter. That's why you insisted on having her fly into town to watch her."

"Actually, my dad is flying in tomorrow, too. They're looking at buying a house here and re-locating from New York. So my mom didn't fly in _just _to watch her only grandchild."

"Why? I thought they loved New York."

He reached out and grabbed my hand, which was on my lap. "They do. They just love their family more."

"I don't blame them. I'd miss you and Maggie, too. I don't ever want to be apart from either of you."

I blinked, stunned that I'd just admitted that out loud. Normally I try to keep those random things to myself, but obviously the liquor was making my verbal filter loose. Edward seemed to be as surprised as I was.

"You'll never have to worry about that, baby. Except, well, when Maggie grows up. She might want to move out of state to go to college and what-not. Or hell, maybe she'll meet her soul mate at a wedding and want to move across the country for them."

I squeezed Edward's hand, let go of it, and reached for my wine glass. "Okay, now you're being cheesy. Soul mate? First fidgety, now cheese. Are you _sure _you're okay?"

He gave me a timid smile. "Yeah, I am." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm okay."

"Ooookay."

Another timid smile. "You wanna get out of here?"

I looked at my nearly empty wine glass and decided not to finish it. "Sure."

Edward paid the bill, helped me into my jacket, and lead me out of the restaurant. Something was still off with him, but I decided to drop it. If Edward said he was fine, then he was fine.

We got into his car and started the drive to where I assumed was home.

I was wrong. When we missed the road that we would've turned down to get home, I became suspicious.

"Where are we going?"

He reached his hand across the center council and grabbed my own before squeezing.

He was nervous. Super nervous. His hand was sweating, which made _me _nervous. Why the hell would he be so nervous?

"It's a surprise."

I swallowed thickly, my hands now sweating, too.

"Why won't you tell me, Edward? Are you bringing me somewhere to kill me?"

"Wh- what? Are you nuts?"

"No, but you're scaring the shit out of me."

"I'm sorry that I'm not being very forthcoming with details, but I wanted to make sure that I got tonight right."

"Are you going to break up with me?"

Even in the darkness of the car, I could tell that he was glaring at me. "You can't honestly think that, can you?"

"Uhm … ?"

"What happened to the self-assured girl I fell in love with?"

"She's overrun with hormones. And very embarrassed right now, because of all the stupid shit that's coming out of her mouth."

"She should be embarrassed. Really, Bella? You think that I could break up with you? And don't think that I could forget that you asked me if I was gonna kill you. I mean, seriously."

"Fuck, I don't know! You're so nervous tonight, and you won't tell me why. You're freaking me out, and I'm coming up with the worst conclusions right now."

"Just chill. We have a few minutes until we arrive at our destination. Here, I'll put some music on. Focus on that, okay?"

He plugged his iPhone into his car jack and the first notes of my favorite song filtered through the speakers. I felt myself relax, sighing as I made myself comfortable in the seat next to my beautiful boyfriend.

It wasn't long before Edward pulled up to a building that looked vaguely familiar and parked his car in the attached parking lot. He got out and ran around the front of the vehicle before opening up my door for me. Once he had my hand in his own, he walked us to the trunk and opened it, pulling out a black travel bag.

"Edward, what …?"

"Give me a few more minutes, okay? You don't have to wait much longer until you get answers. Oh, and before you ask? My mom knows where we are and knows that she's going to be staying with Maggie tonight. Don't worry, I packed your pump. And we'll get home as soon as we can tomorrow morning."

He steered me towards the front door of the building that was obviously our destination. Once we entered the grand foyer, I knew where we were.

A hotel.

A hotel?

No, not just any hotel.

The hotel where we conceived our daughter.

"Stay right here, babe. I'll be right back." Edward ushered me over to one of the couches in the entrance of the hotel, and I stayed there until Edward grabbed what I assumed to be our room key.

"Edward, where … ?"

"Shhh, babe. Just a little longer, okay? I have a plan, and I want to stick to it." A nervous smile stretched across his face, but his eyes were glowing.

He was up to no good, that was for sure.

We got into the elevator and I followed Edward to what I assumed was our room for the night. He fumbled with the key before successfully swiping it into the door. He led me into the room and left me standing in the middle of the room before turning the lights on.

Suddenly, I realized what we were doing at that hotel, in that room.

Rose petals - much like the ones from my bridesmaids bouquet from Alice's wedding - littered the floor. He must've paid someone to scatter them all over for him.

"I know it's cheesy, and I know you'll razz me about it forever, but I swear I fell in love with you the day I met you. And I started the first day of the rest of my life in this very room."

"This is _the _room, isn't it? The one where we drunkenly made love and you left me with your number and your best friend to pick up your one-night-stand pieces."

"Hey, I don't think that's a very fair description of the day after…"

I rolled my eyes and jokingly punched his shoulder. "Mmmhmm, suuuure."

"Okay, so maybe it was." Edward shoved his hands into his pockets. He was obviously still ridiculously nervous. "I love you so much, Bella."

"I love you too, Edward. And I guess this is a nice trip down memory lane… "

"It's more than just that, babe. I just … I wanted to come back here. Make things right, when the last time we were here didn't end the way it should've."

"Hey, I like the last time we were here. And I'd bet that Maggie would agree with me."

"I don't mean what we did the night of Jasper and Alice's wedding. I mean that I regret that I left the way I did."

"You had to work the next day. I couldn't blame you for that. Besides, you have me now. And we all know that I'm _quite the catch_," I joked.

"You _are _quite the catch. And I don't ever want to let you go."

Edward took a shaky breath before taking his hands out of his pockets. Except now, in his right hand, he was holding a black velvet box.

_What the fuck._

He dropped to one knee.

_What the fucking fuck._

"Baby, I love you."

_Ohmigod, is this happening?_

"You're my world. You and my daughter, you are the best parts of my life."

_This is happening. _

"Forever. I want you mine forever."

_And he's going the cliche route. Okay, I guess we can go with this._

"God, I want to make us a family. I mean, yeah, I already consider you my family." He rubbed the back of his neck so hard that a red mark was forming on the sides of his neck. "But I want you as my wife. Calling you my girlfriend - that isn't enough anymore. You're more to me than that, and I want everyone in the world to know that."

I pursed my lips in amusement. I was pretty positive that he'd overthought all of this, and couldn't decide on which route to go with his proposal, so he was heading down all of them, meshing them into one crazy proposal. I couldn't really blame him, right? He was a doctor, not an author. Really, I should have written his proposal for him.

Ha.

Deciding to put him out of his misery, I leaned forward and started massaging the back of his red and abused neck.

"So what you're saying is that you 'had a fucking fantastic time' and you want to do it again?" I teased, referencing the ridiculous note he'd left me the day after our first encounter.

He smiled in understanding. "I'm saying that I want to do it forever. Bella, baby, will you marry me?"

He opened the black velvet box, and I was met with the ring that I'd jokingly picked out with Rosalie a few years back, after her divorce was final, insisting that it be the ring that she use to propose to me so we didn't end up old biddies alone in the world. It was still the most breathtaking piece of jewelry I'd ever laid eyes on.

I looked at Edward, the father to my daughter, the love of my life. I couldn't help but smile.

"God yes, I'll marry you."

With shaking hands, he slipped the ring onto my finger. It all made sense now, he was nervous all day long about proposing to me.

As if I'd say no. Sure, we hadn't been together for very long, but it didn't matter.

When you know, you know.

At last, I'd found the man of my dreams. God, I'd turned into a slice of cheese myself.

I smiled as I admired the ring on my finger, only briefly wondering about how many times Maggie would get it dirty for me, before another thought filtered through my mind.

"Hey, Edward?"

"Yes, baby?"

"Can we _not _be blackout drunk the next time we conceive a child? I want to remember."

* * *

**E/N:**  
**God, I'm so emotional right now! AHHH!**

**You wanna know a secret though? Yes, the next chapter is the epilogue … but I'm not done with the story yet. I can't be! These characters are far too fun to play with to let them go already.**

**So, if you wanna, keep the story on alert after the epi. I'm gonna post some futuretakes, because even after the epilogue, I feel like there are some fun moments that these characters have in their future that would be a shame not to share with you guys. And if you don't want to read any futuretakes, take the story off alert after the next chapter. I'm trying to make sure that the story stands just fine with the epilogue as the ending (because that's the way I'd pictured it in my mind as ending on day one).**

**Also, my hero (Detochkina) and I have been developing a new story. If you're interested in reading it, keep me (and Detochkina!) on alert.**

**Reviews are ALWAYS appreciated, and I'm so sorry if I don't get back to you. I have the best readers ever, don't think I don't know that!**

**THANK YOU FOR STICKING WITH THIS STORY! I'm so very humbled to have so many AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL people reading my story!**


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